The Gods' Mouths

This lesson about community brought to you by the Super Friends!

2012-01-10T21:15:00.010-05:00

By Del Tashlin

So what you need to know about the image above is that Apache Chief's special power is to grow very large. In fact, that's what he's best at. So even though what is likely needed to stop the Moon Monster is someone very large, Superman decides he's the best one for the job and runs off without thinking it through.

I saw this in an article and it immediately struck me that this is a problem I see in the spirit worker/shamanic demographic that drives me crazy. Most of us, in most situations involving clients, are Superman – we can do a lot of neat stuff, and be of general use, but we don't always have specific knowledge or power that can address the specific need. Or maybe we have a base knowledge of something like ordeal, but there are other colleagues out there who have training in the sort of ordeal your client requires. Maybe we're a bit bored with doing the same sorts of services over and over again, and a client with a different need poses an interesting challenge.

However, we don't refer as often as we should. In some cases, we feel like we're the only ones doing this sort of work around, and since the client is right there in front of you, it's much easier to try to serve the client yourself. There's a bit of pride involved, too, in being a good or useful shaman; how does it look if a client asks for help and our response is to say, “Well, I think I need to phone a friend...”? With whatever amount of choice we were given, we chose this path because we wanted to be of service to a community. It feel intrinsic to what we do, who we are. We might be afraid that if we refer the client to someone else, the client may decide not to follow through, and won't seek out the help they need after all.

I know I'm not faultless here. When I started offering ordeal services, the only ones I referred out were ones that wanted/required a kind of ordeal I knew I was incapable of doing, like rope bondage. But I definitely took clients who were looking for a kind of ordeal that wasn't my main focus. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with diversifying; there is a small number of us, and having more skills makes you well-rounded. However, it's also good to know that if I have no interest or aptitude in a specific kind of service, I don't have to (dangerously) fake it, or do a little online research and then take a swing at it.

I know many of us feel alone; we may work for Bosses that no one else does, or serve a specific Boss in a way/relationship that's different from the other shamans and spirit workers. Maybe you're reading this but you've never personally met someone who does the same sort of work as you. Before I met Raven Kaldera, I was doing all sorts of spirit work for myself, my Bosses, and my clients, without having a framework or name for what I was doing. I didn't know it was so rare, either. But I'm happier now that I have a functional Rolodex of people doing all sorts of things for clients, so I can offer up a bunch of names when someone is looking for a specific type of experience.

Recently, I was reading the blog of someone who has a relationship with a Deity that needs to be formalized. Although I knew this person in meat space, and had done ordeal work with them in the past, I hadn't talked about this new relationship with them, nor had they sought me out for guidance. However, their Deity downloaded what the ritual was going to look like into my head, and I knew there was a role in it that I could accomplish with ease. I took a very gentle approach with the client – I told her that no one had the right to dictate to her what her ritual should look like, and that I was happy to share the details of my vision if she was interested. When she indicated she was, I gave a dispassionate description of what I was allowed to tell her, including the part that I thought I was qualified for. When I described that part, I told her I could do it, but I also gave her the names of three other spirit workers who could as well. I didn't want to insert myself into her ritual just because I was the one who got the vision; I also didn't want to assume that she wanted to share this experience with me just because we've shared ordeal space in the past. I let her make her own decisions, because after all, it's her ritual.

I know too many spirit workers who take a different tack; I know because I frequently get their dissatisfied clients on my doorstep. They assume that because they were the conduit through which the Deity communication occurred, that means that any further work with that Deity, including the possibility of possessory interaction, is automatically the responsibility of the same spirit worker. This is just not true. You may not have the right body for the job, or whatever may transpire during the possession may jeopardize the client's ability to work with the spirit worker outside of that context again (“I'm sorry, but every time I look at you, I see Odin instead, and I just can't relate to you in any other way.”). Spirit workers also sometimes assume that they are the ones that the client needs to go through for any further communication with said Deity, or that the spirit worker is the best qualified person to dictate what the client's further actions with that Deity are. None of that is necessarily true.

It is a good thing that we have resources like this blog (however inactive it's been lately), to interact with each other and get to know the strengths and specialties each one of us brings to the table. I see nothing wrong with the fact that I have a solid network of colleagues I can refer a client to; it doesn't demean my ability or status or cool factor. It makes me a better, more capable shaman. I can do more because I can call on others to assist, either through referral or by asking someone to join me in helping the client. It means that I don't have to spend a lot of time learning a little bit about all the sorts of things a client may ask of me; I can reliably send bloodwalking clients to Elizabeth, or clients seeking magickal knowledge to Winter, or clients walking a Warrior path to Galina. I know a little about all of these things, but they are experts. As a client, I'd rather know that I was working with someone who knew their stuff, rather than whomever was most convenient. I know this isn't universal of all clients (some clients don't take referrals well, especially if it might require them to travel more than half an hour), but at the very least I'm giving them a choice, an informed choice. If proximity, or fee, or availability, or gender, or experience, is the most important factor for a client, so be it.

If, by any chance, you are reading this and you really don't know any other shamans or spirit workers, well, now you know me. And I know a really good bunch of them. So if you find yourself with a client that you feel you may not be the right person to service them, drop me an email with what the client needs and I'll do my best to make a good referral – or be honest if I don't know anyone who can help. That's a start. Another way to get to know other spirit workers is to offer to hold a spirit worker “coffee clatch” at your next pagan gathering – it doesn't have to be an informative workshop, just a place for people who do this stuff to get together and network. I usually do this under the guise of a “discussion”, where I have everyone introduce themselves and give a short synopsis of who they work for and what they do. Then I ask a bunch of questions to get people talking. At the end, I leave time for people to swap contact information and encourage them to stay in touch. Voila! More people in your Rolodex.

I also haunt a few (not many) online pagan haunts, looking for people who post things that sound like they may do spirit work. I also try to follow blogs of people who are writing about this sort of thing; especially those who are working with Deities or pantheons that I don't, or who use modalities I don't. It seems intutive to follow blogs of people who share the same experiences as you (and I'm not saying don't do that), but if you're looking to broaden your network, it's actually better to find people who are working in a completely different way.

Also, don't be afraid to bring in “contractors”. By that, I mean, people who aren't spirit workers, but who have a specific skill set that will give your client the sort of experience that they need. If Artemis wants your client to learn to bow-hunt, it doesn't have to be a spirit worker who teaches him how. If your ritual requires someone to “stand in” for a Deity, it may actually be easier if it's not you, so you can focus on walking with your client and supporting them through their experience. If a client is interested in a kind of devotional work that you don't do, it may be better for them to talk to someone who does, spirit worker or no. (For instance, I don't do prayer beads, but I know lots of pagans who do!) The contractor doesn't even need to know that this is part of some spirit-work thing; the client can manage that on their own, according to their preferences.

Being Superman isn't a bad thing. After all, Superman is very useful, and has a lot of kewl powerz that help a lot of people. However, he is only one member of the Super Friends, and sometimes the job calls for Wonder Woman, or Aquaman. Okay, so very few jobs call for Aquaman, but that's a different essay for a different blog.

Del is a child of Loki, and a neoclassical shaman who primarily works with the Norse pantheon. He teaches on a variety of subjects, from kink spirituality to devotional work. He writes a blog about his experiences with chronic illness and how it relates to his spirituality at http://www.dyingforadiagnosis.com. He can be emailed (for those referrals!) at awesome.del@gmail.com.

Becoming An Animist, Or Why I Gave Up All My Shit

2011-07-07T01:00:00.004-04:00

By Fionnlaech

When I was thirteen my parents told me that they would buy me my weight in books.

They did this too encourage the stunted growth in my taste for reading. Well... it worked. I read all the books I could (mostly science fiction and fantasy) and for the first time I started to collect stuff with the intention of keeping it for a long time. I collected sci-fi books, Magic: The Gathering cards, music, and comics. They bought a computer for me and I began to use it for games and surfing the internet. Years passed and I built up a decent book collection (1000 books ish) and card collection ($1500 when I sold it). When I left for college I took everything I could with me and put the rest in storage. I picked up new interests and started collecting camping equipment, weapons, and religious tools. During my time in college and after my household grew by, in no particular order, several fish, a wife, two snakes, two cats, a husband, and a few dogs. In addition I kept a good deal of clothes, machining tools, and a large collection of stuffed animals.

But I was unhappy.

The reasons why I was unhappy are far too complicated to get into in this writing but a little piece of it was stuff. I kept feeling that I had too much... stuff. When I got divorced I took the opportunity find homes (I now deeply regret that “home” mostly meant “landfill” at the time) for my MTG collection, clothes, stuffed animals, weapons, camping equipment, games, and most of my books. Just doing that made me feel so much better... but I didn’t know why. Fast forward a year.

I was unhappy again.

The end of a relationship had brought the happiest 6 months of my life to a close and I felt uncomfortable with my living space again. I had a tv, computer monitor, tables, chairs, other furniture, appliances, utensils, xbox, wii, the remainder of my book collection, and I was trying to figure out what the fuck to do with it all. After much consideration I decided to give it all away (I found better homes this time) which made me feel much better, but again I didn’t know why. This time I decided to figure it out.

I’ve been mulling it over in my head for a while and I have an hypothesis: it’s all about animism. For those who aren’t familiar with animism I’ll use Graham Harvey’s definition: “[Animism] ...is a way of living that treats the world as a community of living beings, persons, most of whom are other-than-human.” My paganism always had a quietly animist thread but as the years have passed I have found it braiding with other parts of my wyrd to become an increasingly large part of my spirituality. If we take seriously the idea that EVERYTHING in our lives is a person (who just doesn’t often happen to be human) then what does that say about the stuff we touch? Your Wii is the gaming buddy who comes over and hangs out with you. Your forks, knives, and napkins become your caregivers. Your handkerchief becomes the friend you invite over when you need someone to be there when you cry.

I’ve known for years that I am not a really social person. I like have a few close friends and cordial, but shallow, relationships with everyone else. What I unconsciously realized is that my life made no sense unless I applied that to the non-human persons in my life. When I was living with my husband and wife I think a part of me felt that I couldn’t have the kind of intense relationship that makes me happy if I had so many roommates (furniture, shower curtain, microwave) and friends (books, computer games, camping equipment) who lived with us, no matter how much I enjoyed their company individually. The living space in Seattle didn’t work because I brought most the stuff I had with the thought that someone else would be spending a great deal of time there. Imagine how you would feel if you signed an apartment lease for three people, moved in, and the third person never showed.

This helps me explain some of my past motivations and aids my understanding of current relationships in my life. Clothes for example. I’ve noticed that since I got rid of so many clothes over the past year I have enjoyed the company of the clothes I have much more. In addition, my buying patterns have changed. If entertainment objects are the friends of the non-human world our clothes are surely our lovers. The are constantly in contact with us, touching us, caressing us. We take the clothes we find most attractive out on dates. They see us at our most vulnerable. They are frequently the only external objects we take with us to the grave.

Last year, with a few exceptions, I stopped buying new clothes. I now shop almost exclusively at thrift stores. The change was partially due to cost but a big part was that what I looked for in a relationship changed. I wanted clothes that were experienced, that have scars, that have stories. Not some naive freshly starched virgin shirt that I have to patiently train about the ways of the world, about loving. The exceptions are for clothes that already seem perfect for me (how often have we all disobeyed our iron-clad dating rules for that one hottie who seems into us). I now understand my clothes much better. If I look at my favorite clothes the way I do a lover my feelings make much more sense. In my human lovers I look for people who will accompany me on otherworldly journeys and whose blood I can share. My corset, my hakama both make much more sense to me if I think of them as fluid-bonded lovers, the gods know I have bled on them enough.

This is why animism appeals to me as a way of life (animism, as I think about it, is less of a religion and more of a way to walk through the world) that will foster a more sustainable future. If you try to live an environmentally friendly life it is easy to get turned off by all the choices thrust upon you. Here’s a thought path that I cycle through. “Ok, I want to actually act environmentally friendly on a daily basis. How should I do that? Should I take public transport everywhere? What if I like visiting friends outside of the bus route? Do I buy organic or local? Which is better? What if I don’t have the money for that? Why should I buy expensive light bulbs? What is the right choice? ARRGGHH I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sigh* I’ll try this again when I have more money.”

Animism makes simpler for me, although not easier. Animism doesn’t ask us to always make the right choices about stuff, just that we treat it with dignity.

Every. Single. Thing.

TANSTAAFL

2011-04-07T03:04:00.001-04:00

cross-posted from Notes From A Barking Shaman

There is a well know platitude that reads: When the gods close a door, they open a window.

Admittedly, I took a few pagan liberties there with my pluralization, but I am confident that the essential sentiment remains unchanged.

While undeniably clichéd, this sentiment has an element of truth (or perhaps truthiness) about it. However, there is a inverse truth that has failed to achieve quite the same level of Hallmark success.

When the gods open a door, they close a window.

Most people know me as “Wintersong Tashlin.” Granted it is not the name I was given at birth. Nor is it the name that adorns my state and federal ID. I was given this name in February of 1999, and in 2005 my legal name was amended so that “Tashlin” became my legal surname. For a number of sentimental and practical reasons I decided for the time being to leave my first name alone. However, the list of people who call me by my birth name is quite short. Nearly all of them are related to me by blood.

My life and Work as “Wintersong” has open many doors. Regardless of what community I am in, this is the identity I am known by. The freedom that has allowed me made it possible to establish a reputation working at the intersections of the communities that I hold dear: pagan spirituality/magic, kink/BDSM, queer/LGBT. With separate “scene” “circle” and “real” names, it would have been impossible to do much of the Work I am proudest of. Additionally, I have never made much effort to separate “Wintersong” from my legal identity. It seemed a loosing battle and one that I could never be happy while fighting.

The question of identity has always been one of interest in my life. The collection of poetry I wrote as an adolescent (some of which is surprisingly decent) asks the question “who am I” and “where am I going” with the frequency one might expect of a disabled queer kid that age. There are times I wonder, would ELL see his own future in WST? Would my childhood self understand the path our wyrd took? Or instead would he resent me for such gross deviations from the course he had envisioned for this turn of the Wheel?

In his wildest dreams, my younger self could not imagine the doors the gods have opened for me. Starting with those gods themselves, and continuing to spouses, lovers, friends, community, and a family of choice that, along with my family of birth, has made it possible to experience richer joys and weather greater pains in the last twelve years than some people experience in a lifetime. Of course there are moments I would love a do-over for, but never have I regretted the path itself.

Not regretting one's wyrd however, doesn't not prevent mourning what has been sacrificed to make it possible.

For instance, my life as a godatheow (god-slave) does not allow for children. I was raised to believe that as a parent, one's children have to come first, an idea incompatible with my oaths. Service to the Lady is my highest priority, before my partners or potential children. Germain to this essay moreover, my public identity as “Wintersong” effectively eliminates having children in our society. I am sterile, and someone on record as an openly unabashed polyamorous pervert has little chance of getting approved for the adoption process (note: I'm open about being poly AND a pervert, one does not automatically equal the other). A part of me longs for children, but even if an arrangement could be reached with my patron, there is no feasible way to become a parent with the openness my Work requires.

Career options have their own limits too. A friend and colleague of mine recently raised the prospect of some potential employment that would dovetail well with my current Work while fitting with my disability and schedule needs. However, the position requires being able to pass a level of hostile scrutiny that my legal identity cannot withstand. Googling my legal name ties it to “Wintersong” on the very first page of search results. Taking that into account it was obvious I was unsuitable for the position. Disappointing as that was, there was also relief. For most of my life I lived openly and doubt I possess the fortitude for a closet. My time at the car dealership would indicate that I do not. Hiding under the refuge of my legal name was an emotionally distressing experience (I should note that, to PCN's credit I was out as queer without issue).

At present there are a number of projects vying for my attention: The first is to achieve greater market penetration and financial success as a presenter in the kink/BDSM and spirituality communities, which includes writing two books that will ideally improve my name recognition. At the same time I am working to complete and find a market for an unrelated writing project that must not be tied to the first task due to its subject matter. If, in defiance of the odds, the second writing project finds an audience and publisher, I will not be able to publicly take ownership of a work I'd be rightfully proud of. Changing gears between them would be hard enough without the knowledge that in the best case scenario I will still be unable to claim credit for the second work. The added pressure of teaching private students and trying to grow a nascent magical clan has not improved matters.

If an opportunity presented itself, I would certainly not go back in time and prevent myself from going out stargazing that night in mid-September of 1998 with the first friend I'd made at college. The encounter we had that night opened an incomprehensible door for us both, and even then, a part of me recognized our wyrds would entwine as part of something bigger than either of us. Returning home that evening battered and drained, but also exhilarated, I could sense the barest glimmer of an unimagined possibilities.

Perhaps it is merely my knowledge of what the future would bring, but I fancy that in that moment we both also felt a hint of sadness, recognizing on some level that by embracing those unimagined possibilities we were forever forfeiting a great many imagined ones. The Fates had opened a door, but over the coming months and years would close a great many windows.

A Journey Into the Desert

2011-01-04T19:08:00.001-05:00

I have practiced human sacrifice. I have been Agamemnon standing over Iphigenia holding the knife, and I have the blood of my own child on my hands and on my wyrd.

I was 17 and dating a boy that I had known for several years in October of 1997, and for a 17 year old, the sex was good. Not adventurous, but good. I was not nearly as careful as I should have been with condoms, and I am essentially allergic to most of the hormonal birth control that was available at the time. The inevitable happened, as one might guess and I got pregnant. I realized that my period was late and took the home test the week after I came home from visiting Oberlin College. I was due to graduate from High School in May. I was not conflicted as to the course I would take. I found out at three weeks, barely long enough for a reliable result on the test. I had the abortion at five weeks, the earliest that the procedure could be done. The nurse at the Planned Parenthood was actually a little disturbed at my total lack of ambivalence towards the decision that I had made. I was a practical child, what can I say.

The life of my now never to be born child is not the only life that I have taken to shape my own. I have also taken my own life. When I walked into that sterile and cold office and signed those papers, I walked out of Eden and became a demon myself. I could have given up college, I was in love with the boy, at least in the way that a 17 year old can know such things. I could have chained myself to him, and he wanted me too. He did not want to lose the tight collection of cells that would be the only thing that could hold us together in the months to come, though in truth that was his only investment in said cells. But I did not. I chose to become a hollow womb, a dark blood stained pool, and I never even looked back at the shining walls of motherhood. I walked out into the desert, and while I did not know where I was going, I was not going back.

I left home and took my blood soaked body and new self with me. I gave birth to my own demon children, ideas and magic. Not totally on my own (I am not a goddess myself, I had help). Together we made our own oasis in the desert, and They did not care that I had taken the life of my own child to be there and be a part of this new creation. I bound myself to a new goddess and a new path. I became a sorceress and I taught others what I had discovered. I learned to weave and bend the energy of the land itself to my will.

I have taken one more life (though in truth I have probably taken many) to make myself full and whole. A little more than a year ago, I made the decision to undergo gender transition from female to male. I have nothing in particular against my female self. I never felt sundered, or alien in my skin. I never felt as if I was a prisoner in my body. It was just that the whole rest of the world kept calling me “she” and "her." It was made clear to me when a co-worker asked me once “How many children do you have?” Not do you have children, but how many. I had offspring, my demon progeny, but not like she was asking. My loins were a desert that had been vacuumed out, and sacrificed on the altar next to the white cows and snakes of my youth. How could I explain that to her? I couldn't. To stay female was to be confronted with this reality with increasing regularity by those around me. This was the first hard shove over the line from ambivalence to active dissatisfaction with my public gender presentation.

So now I have three lives worth of blood that trail behind me like the path of a snail. The blood is warm and I can feel it sometimes, as it runs through my now short hair and down my back, over my legs and into the flow of my wyrd flowing out behind me and stretching out before me. I can see the blood there too, sometimes, red threads and eddies over paths that now I will never walk.

Lilith and I have been courting for about a year now, and through that time I have struggled to understand what it is that she wants from or for me, why she has shown an interest in a slave bound so completely to another goddess. While I know that I will likely never understand fully, this at least is another part of the puzzle. In this way we are alike, we have been faced with the same realities and made the same choices. We have shed the same skins, and I think that she, like me looks back at the walls of Eden and if not regrets her course, at least wonders what the other path might have held.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Surfacing

2010-12-24T01:32:00.001-05:00

I have tried here to capture the experience of “surfacing” or “coming out of the trunk” during a deity possession or “horsing” as it is generally known.

Sleep Wintersong. Go back to sleep...

Distant voices, deep in conversation, rumble in the void like thunder beyond a clouded horizon. Wrong, this is wrong. A splinter of consciousness whispers into the dark that I should be without thought or form. Stubbornly, I cling to the fabric of the nothingness that envelopes me, like a war torn child struggling to stay buried in dreams of a time before blood and fire. The voices grow clearer one voice mine and yet not mine, and I can feel the words carving groves in my mind, and know that these scattered words will be waiting in my memory when I wake. I don't want your words, they belong to you, not me.

Wish as I might, the fabric of my void is tearing. Am I crying, can a thought cry in fear? Lightning flashes, illuminating flicking visions of the waking world, burned into my memory like pictures in someone else's scrapbook. My flesh is being returned to me prematurely and I feel His irritation, tempered with concern, though whether for Himself or for the vessel I do not know. I am sorry. Inadequacy and shame burns in my breast, or would if I had form and substance.

And then, in an instant of sickening dislocation, I do. I am a passenger in a ship born of my mother's body and I can feel Him struggling to maintain His connection. I am small. I see nothing. I feel nothing. In this Work wishing can make it so, if you wish hard enough. Whatever I can do to make room for Him I do.

Help me Master! I cry out for my Teacher and a distant echo reassures and soothes my frightened heart. I know that my Teacher will do his best to erase the grooves in my mind and white out the unwanted pictures in the scrapbook of my memory. It will be incomplete, but the effort will ease my readjustment, when the proper time for my return finally comes.

Then I feel how I don't want to feel Him reach with His/my/Our hand and grasp the hard, slick glass. The vile liquid inside hits my tongue and He rides the wave of liquor down into Our body, the spider puppet-master again ensconced in His temporary temple. Don't think about that, never about that. As the blessed void closes back over my drifting consciousness, my last awareness is of the transmutation of the alcohol from loathsome to ambrosial as His desires reassert dominance and sleep claims me again.

editor's note: this essay was originally published on Notes From a Barking Shaman

Honoring Narvi

2010-04-18T09:44:00.000-04:00

By Galina Krasskova

My adopted mother loved the God Narvi very much. She was a devoted Sigyn and Loki’s woman and she connected very strongly to Sigyn’s immense anguish over the loss of Her two children, especially Narvi.

For those of you who don’t know the story, when Loki spoke His piece in the Hall of the Gods (Lokasenna), He angered Them greatly. Some will say that Their anger came from discovering His role in the death of Baldur; others will say that it was because He pointed out Divine hypocrisy, those places where the Gods were falling short in Their actions. Regardless, They began to hunt Him. Eventually, though He gave good chase, Loki was captured. As part of His punishment, His son Vali was turned into a wolf. He sprang upon the other boy Narvi and slaughtered Him. Narvi’s entrails were strengthened magically and used to bind Loki to a giant rock in a dank cave. A serpent was placed above His head to drip poison onto His face. Sigyn stayed by Him, doing what She could to ease His anguish.

What no one ever talks about in this story, what no one ever wants to acknowledge, is that here we have a Goddess who had both Her sons ripped away from Her. Here we have a grieving mother whose anguish is as vast as the star-filled sky. Here we have a Goddess with every reason to hate and despise the Aesir, and yet She doesn’t. She makes a choice to put the welfare of Her husband first and She remains by His side. My mother connected to that and through Sigyn to Narvi.

Amongst Northern Tradition shamans and spirit-workers, some have a talent for opening to the Gods in such a way that specific Deities can surge into them, pushing human consciousness aside and using the body of the person for a time to communicate directly. This we call “horsing,” the idea being that the person is like a horse being ridden by a Deity. Scholars would call it divine possession. My mother could not do this. She was neither a shaman nor a spirit-worker. She was only one who loved the Gods fiercely with every breath and atom of her being. What she found she could do, was allow Narvi to shadow her, to ride tandem in her consciousness a bit, to hook into her senses, to walk with her. Her practice was rooted in a deep, ardent love of the Gods. There was a grace and a simplicity to it that puts my own practice to shame. Because she moved from a place of love, she wanted to do something to give Narvi pleasure. Here was a boy who had never had a chance to grow and love and live. So she began simply by invoking Him, inviting Him to come with her and then going to the beach to watch the ships or the seals, or the otters. She lived in the Big Sur area in California, and for one who loves the water, it is a haven.

Many of us feel through our own gnosis that Narvi loves the water, sailing, fishing, swimming, and everything associated with the water. So my mother would go regularly to the beach and let Him look through her eyes. She would let Him enjoy a few moments, through her senses, of being alive and doing something that He enjoyed. My mom died this past February and in one of the final letters that she left for me (for we knew she was ill months before), she asked me to make sure that someone, somewhere continues to honor Narvi. “Please try to find someone who can go to the beach for Narvi,” she wrote, “or take Him for a walk in the woods, or something. I don’t want Him to have to wait again, and be forgotten again.”

So if any of you reading this feel a tug at your heart. If any of you have a love or devotion to Sigyn or Loki or Hela (for Narvi is Her half-brother), consider ways to honor Him. Perhaps taking Him to the beach is not something you can do, but a prayer, an offering, a few moments of contemplation, a toy given to a child in need….surely there is something that we can each do in His name, for Him. For those of you who, like me, have the gift of horsing, well, consider on occasion giving Sigyn’s gentlest son a half hour in the flesh. Narvi sits with Baldur now. Perhaps together They mourn the senselessness that caused Their passings.

Prayer to Narvi

Child of a Gentle Mother,
be Thou hailed.
Child of a beautiful Father,
be Thou honored.
May Your passing be remembered.
May Your youth be mourned.
May Your presence be celebrated
all the days of our lives.
May You find doorways to our world
oh son of grieving Gods,
and here may You find
some small measure of Joy.
Hail Narvi,
Child of loss.
Hail Narvi,
Child of Valour.

Those wishing to read more about Narvi or Sigyn or Loki should consider the following books:

“Feeding the Flame” by Galina Krasskova
“Jotunbok” by Raven Kaldera
‘The Poetic Edda” by Snorri Sturluson (there are many good translations available)
“Sigyn: Our Lady of the Staying Power” by Galina Krasskova

See also: krasskova.weebly.com

New Book Available

2009-11-04T17:20:00.002-05:00

Just a quick note to let you all know that my new devotional is available: "Day Star and Whirling Wheel: Honoring the Sun and Moon in the Northern Tradition."

From the back of the book: In the Northern Tradition, the Sun is represented by the Goddess Sunna, and the Moon by her divine brother Mani. They give their names to two of the days of the week, and their rays shine down upon us, giving life and inspiration. This devotional is dedicated to them, and to their family. They are more than mere personifications; they bring joy and peace to every day of our lives. We saw them first in the sky as children, and now we can understand and reverence them even more fully with the help of this book.

It's available from asphodelpress.com, lulu.com and, in a few weeks, amazon.com.
Be well
Galina Krasskova

Retooling the Rosary

2009-10-27T18:55:00.003-04:00

By Galina Krasskova

I miss the rosary. I’ve been Heathen for close to fifteen years. I’m a priest, shaman, godatheow and utterly devoted to Odin and the other Gods. But I was raised Catholic and while I have no connection with that religion anymore, I miss some aspects of devotional regalia used to good effect within this religion. Perhaps it is simply that I remember my grandmother, whom I loved dearly, praying the rosary (she had quite a devotion to the Virgin Mary); or perhaps it is that we are patterned by where we’ve been, where we’ve walked, and those practices that first opened us to the Gods, even if these things are longer part of our spiritual practice. I learned to pray at my grandmother’s knee and though I’m owned by a completely different family of Gods than she was, that early training has been immensely useful.

It wasn’t until recently, when speaking with a couple of colleagues, also Heathen, that I realized I wasn’t alone in missing the rosary, prayer cards, and certain aspects of ritual. There is something very compelling about a certain type of prayer, particularly a prayer that at any given time is being said all over the world, and has been said regularly all over the world since the fourteenth century. There is something equally compelling about having a tool that speaks to the physical senses as a mnemonic, engaging us with heart and hands in prayer and remembrance of our Gods. I can’t do anything about prayer cards – I’m no artist, but I know a little something about constructing and deconstructing prayers. I believe that there is merit in examining the religious practices with which we were raised and repurposing that which is helpful. A tool is a tool after all, whether it’s used by a Christian, Pagan, Heathen, Muslim, or any other religious person—and why should they have all the fun!

We can never escape where we’ve been, and that’s ok. We can, however, make our early exposure to various religious practices work for us. My adopted mom was the first one to open my eyes to this. I have used prayer beads for years, but never anything approximating a rosary and I remain surprised at how much I miss the five sets of ten. There’s something about that pattern, a familiarity that feels right. I have half a dozen sets of prayer beads that I use regularly and it was only recently that I thought about reworking the rosary (after finding a set in the deepest, prettiest shade of Wodinic blue…). My mom was the inspiration for this work. When I was writing “Feeding the Flame,” she gave me a prayer, which I will share with you below. It was a very moving prayer to Loki and Sigyn, the Gods to whom she is dedicated. She said that while she personally is no fan of Christianity, she often found herself missing the “Our Father” prayer. So, being a woman devoted to a mystic, almost monastic path, she sat down and meditated on what exactly she was missing, because it certainly wasn’t the Christian God. She realized, through her discernment, that she missed the message of the prayer and so she wrote her own, that encompassed what she felt that prayer could say to her own Gods. I have followed suit.

So for those Heathens and Pagans like me, who love prayer beads and find them immensely nourishing spiritually, who love their Gods and Goddesses, who have absolutely no desire to go back to their birth religions, but who feel that maybe, the monotheists oughtn’t to corner the market on beautiful prayer tools, I offer this reworked rosary below. Call it what you want. I know that for me, it restores a practice that I have long missed.

Reworking the Rosary: The Prayers

One of the things that I find fascinating about rosaries, is that there are so many lovely variations on them. You could make your own, or purchase one. For me, this became in part, a means of also honoring my grandmother, because I was able to use her rosary for my own prayers, which I found especially nice.

Most rosaries begin with a cross. I suggest respectfully removing the cross, and any other Christian religious medals (there is often a center medallion to the Virgin Mary). I encourage respect because I don’t believe it wise to show disrespect for any Deity. Remove the cross and medal (if there is one, mine had a large bead there) and give it to a Christian friend. I took mine to a Church and left it there. It may seem a silly precaution but as I said, it’s never a bad thing to be respectful, even if the Deity in question isn’t yours.

After you have removed the cross (and medal) affix a religious pendant of your own choice, a pentacle, hammer, or other Pagan or Heathen symbol. If your rosary also had a central medallion, replace that with a bead or metal ring, or whatever you feel will work for you. I want to reiterate again that this is not to be done out of disrespect for the Christian Gods. I remove these things out of respect for both my Gods and theirs.

The original order of prayers for the Catholic rosary is as follows:

1. Apostles Creed
2. Our Father
3. Hail Mary
4. Hail Mary
5. Hail Mary
6. Glory Be
7. Our Father
8. One Hail Mary per each bead in the sets of ten.
9. One Our Father on the spacers between the sets of ten.
10. Hail Holy Queen prayer to conclude.

Obviously, we’re not going to use those prayers. Once you’ve made the rosary your own, I offer the following prayers:

Begin with the religious pendant. On mine, I use a Prayer of Service from Raven Kaldera’s book “Dark Moon Rising” and I give that here, but if this isn’t your proverbial cup of tea, feel free to write your own.

1. Prayer of Service
(from “Dark Moon Rising” by Raven Kaldera)

I offer myself to Your will,
To better serve Your needs.
I offer myself as Your tool,
For my path is one of usefulness.
I offer myself to be used,
For to be used is to be valued.
I offer myself to be honed
To give a finer edge.
I offer myself to be changed,
That I may become a vessel,
A manifestation of Your will.

2.“Teach me, oh my Gods, to have correct knowledge and understanding, for Your blessing is all that I desire. Speak Your words in my ear, oh Makers of all Things, and set Your wisdom in my heart. (This has been adapted by my friend Sophie Reicher from an Enochian prayer).

3. I bind myself today to the Holy Powers:
Their hands to guide me,
Their wisdom to teach me,
Their ears to hear me,
Their words to give me speech,
Their will to use me,
My heart, always, ever always, to love Them.
(repeat for 4 and 5).

6. Sigdrifa's Prayer

7. Lord and Lady Prayer (given below)

8. In the sets of ten, in place of the Hail Mary say:

Hail to the Gods and Goddesses.
Your grace illumines all things.
Your gifts shine forth,
Making fruitful nine mighty worlds.
Blessed are those that serve You.
Blessed are those that seek You out.

Holy Powers, Makers of all things,
Bless and protect us in Your mercy.
Lead us along the twisting pathways of our wyrd
And when it is time, guide us safely along the Hel-road.

9. On each of the spaces between sets of ten, in place of the “Our Father” say:

My Lord and My Lady, my Beloved Ones,
May those you call always hear Your voice.
May I always love You beyond trust and mistrust.
May my surrender be complete and voluntary.
Give me this day the grace of Your presence.
When I fail You of Your kindness,
Permit me to make amends.
Use me and teach me according to Your will,
And deliver me from all complacency.

This prayer was written by Fuensanta Arismendi. She would insert the names of Loki and Sigyn, but since not everyone is dedicated to these Gods, I recommend, after the words ‘My Lord and My Lady,” inserting the names of the Gods that you do most often honor and most deeply love.

10. Once you have gone through all five sets of ten, you will arrive again at the spacer bead tying everything together. Repeat Sigdrifa’s prayer to conclude.

For those of you reading this who may use prayer beads in your own practice, I would love to know what people are doing. Please feel free to share in the comments or via email Krasskova at gmail.com.

Useful links:

Wikipedia entry on the rosary: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosary
History of the Rosary: http://www.rosaryworkshop.com/HistoriesIndex.htm
Gorgeous rosaries for sale: http://magnificatrosaries.com/_wsn/page11.html
Pagan Prayer Beads: http://www.pagan-prayerbeads.com/
Unpacking the Pagan Prayer Beads: http://www.getreligion.org/?p=2344

Discrimination in NY

2009-10-21T13:42:00.003-04:00

http://wildhunt.org/blog/2009/10/the-endangered-maetreum-of-cybele.html.

This temple to Cybele in upstate NY is facing serious discrimination, ostensibly because they are Pagan but also likely because they are trans folk/trans friendly. If anyone can help, please consider doing so. These people are not only legitimate, but they are doing the Work. When the Gods came calling with a difficult task, they stepped up to the plate. If you are not in a position where you can offer any support, please keep them in your prayers.

For those of you who think this doesn't concern you consider: do we want a legal precedent set that encourages discrimination of polytheists? THAT has the potential to affect us all.

New Devotional Now Available

2009-08-25T01:19:00.003-04:00

I'd like to let folks know that my newest book is out. The title is "Sigyn: Our Lady of the Staying Power." It's a devotional to one of the most often ignored Goddesses of the Northern Tradition. Sigyn is the Goddess of constancy and compassion and one of the wives of the Trickster God Loki. This book honors Her with a collection of prayers, poems, articles, meditations, and rituals. The book is currently available at lulu.com, asphodelpress.com, and amazon.com.

Check it out, folks.

many thanks,
Galina Krasskova
(who has been swamped with moving into a new house and finishing grad school but will soon be back to a regular posting schedule :) )

a very crazy summer

2009-07-28T11:20:00.001-04:00

But posting will resume with regularity soon, promise. In the mean time, here is a very funny article about a current political situation that I find absolutely ridiculous.

http://www.hereticalideas.com/2009/07/is-barack-obama-an-american-citizen/

enjoy,

the editor

Personal Gnosis Responsibilities Part 3: Group Leaders and Gatekeepers

2009-07-03T10:43:00.002-04:00

By Raven Kaldera

In the early days of Neo-Paganism, many groups strove to be as nonjudgmental as possible, usually as a reaction to the religions of their upbringing. Some group leaders were careful to point out that while they might have administrative duties – making sure that the incense got bought, and that there were enough candles of the proper colors, and that the ritual speakers had all their lines – they weren’t there to tell anyone what to believe. Eventually, as some groups created more unwavering doctrine and dogma, it was slowly accepted in many of them that if belief in a certain theology is integral to the practice of the group, the leader (or the Council of Elders, or whoever else is chosen for the task) has the right and obligation to take on the task of Sacred Gatekeeper, deciding what beliefs and practices will be acceptable within that practice.

Part of the reluctance of leaders to take on the gatekeeping task has been the reluctance of Neo-Pagan group members to let them. Many Neo-Pagans left religions where they had bad experiences with gatekeepers, and they are wary of allowing anyone else to decide anything about their spiritual experience, ever again. Some individuals (and even some groups) commit strongly enough to this ideal that they staunchly support the concept not only of everyone choosing their own personal spiritual path, but of a group practice where there are no boundaries around what anyone might choose to do spiritually at any moment. People being who and what they are, however, this sort of thing rarely works for a mixed group of people. Spirituality may be deeply personal and individual, but religion is a group practice and any group practice requires compromise, if only to figure out what the heck this random bunch of people is going to be doing together tonight.

So now, to one extent or another, we have group leaders (or elders, or whatever title is used) whose job is to decide on and guard the boundaries of what-our-group-does from what-our-group-doesn’t-do. Part of that job will inevitably require them to evaluate the personal gnosis of anyone who wants to make changes based on inspiration of some sort. This is a heavy and uncomfortable responsibility. Most don’t relish the job of having to tell the bright-eyed member brimming with devotion and enthusiasm that after long and thoughtful scrutiny, this innovation does not fit with the concepts that the leader has been charged to protect. It’s hard to say those things in the face of someone else’s spiritual dreams, knowing that your decision may well be interpreted as a denigration of their devotion, their psychic ability, their intelligence, or even their sanity. It’s even harder to remain open and compassionate in the wake of the bitterness and resentment that often follows. The temptation to rebuff them, to enclose one’s self in the righteousness of one’s position of rules-guardian, is often strong.

This is why the leader of a religious group needs to remain compassionate and flexible about how the boundaries are enforced, and be able to come up with imaginative ways to make situations work. If it isn’t appropriate to do this activity that Quetzalcoatl has asked for in the main Greek-oriented Solstice ritual, might it be possible to hold a separate small ritual on another day? Could there be instead a workshop or discussion held about Quetzalcoatl? It’s also possible to tell the Message Bearer that things have to move more slowly; perhaps the group members need some information over time to get used to the idea of Quetzalcoatl, and patient “pre-briefing” over a number of months will bring a better result than forcing something onto a reluctant group.

If the personal gnosis is not something that the leader believes that the group can endorse at all, there’s a lot of credit that can be built by actively aiding the Message Bearer in question to find a group that accept their gnosis, or at least get them in touch with like-minded people. Just the fact that the gatekeeper is willing to help with that, or to designate someone to help with that, goes a long way toward counteracting the potential impression of all the personal denigrations listed in the last paragraph. There’s also a good deal of high moral ground in having done everything you can to be respectful of your member’s gnosis while still refraining from compromising your own boundaries.

In the event that the Message Bearer facing you down states that God X demands this and there will be consequences to pay if it doesn’t happen, the leader needs to be willing to verbally accept those consequences, even if the leader secretly believes that they are imaginary. (If nothing else, there will be social consequences regarding the leader’s relationship with the Message Bearer, and any other members who see the process happen.) This is where it’s often good for a leader to have a couple of trusted diviners that they can call on – if I refuse to do this because I don’t believe that my community will accept it well, will Quetzalcoatl really smite me, or is this particular Message Bearer overreacting and misinterpreting?

It also lends credibility if the group has a process for judging personal gnosis that isn’t just the leader’s whim. While the leader may have given the matter several days of deep thought and prayer and a couple of Tarot readings, it can still look like a whim to the people who don’t see that part. A public process that is moderated by the leader, or at least a public advisory committee, can lend more transparency and thus more trust to the process. (We’ll discuss a few examples of these in a different section.) More credibility is also extended to the leader whose own personal gnosis is publicly submitted to this process when there is any question in the group.

It’s fair for a leader who is facing down an intractable Message Bearer to remind them of their responsibilities as per the last section (perhaps by giving them a copy to read or reread) and then calmly ask how the Message Bearer intends to find a way to make the message convincing and acceptable to members of the group who honestly believe X or Y. It may help for the leader to remind the Message Bearer that those people are also under the leader’s purview, and also deserve to be part of his/her sacred trust to protect and be fair to all. Simply squaring off in oppositional positions of “Champion Of The Gods” and “Champion Of The People” will be counterproductive; it behooves the leader to undermine the assumption that those archetypal roles are inevitable, in any way possible.

(Some groups don’t have single leaders, but rotate the leadership or function in consensus. For these groups, the challenge is even greater. It doesn’t mean that they can ignore the standards below. Instead, it means that every single person in the group with influence must be held to these standards, without exception. No one ever said that taking responsibility would be easy.)

So, given that, what standards should group members – new and long-term – hold for the people who carry the sacred trust of being the spiritual gatekeeper for a group? We asked a number of Pagans this question over a period of time. How would a group leader have to behave in order to gain your trust as someone authorized to judge any personal gnosis you bring to their group? The following list is a reflection of those responses:

1. They are generally honorable people with a good track record of keeping their commitments and treating their members well.

2. They are known for being honest and not deceptive. They know what they know, and what they don’t know, and are clear about that.

3. They accept criticism gracefully and maturely, apologize and make amends for their mistakes, and firmly hold to their decisions when they don’t think the criticism is valid.

4. They are clear and open about their spiritual beliefs, including the values that they extrapolate from those beliefs, and how those values might be put into practice. (“One of our sacred poems says X, and to me that means that I should always do Y, and in a situation that called for Y I’d react this way.”) They are willing to talk about both their passion for their faith and the times when they’ve been assaulted by doubts. (Be suspicious of a group leader who says that they’ve never had doubts, if only about their ability to live up to their own faith’s tenets.)

5. They are clear on where their authority begins and ends, how those boundaries were set, and whether all the members of their group agree on those boundaries. They are clear on what the group’s core values and beliefs are, and whether all members of the group actually believe them, and to what extent those core values and beliefs are held in other groups of the same tradition. They do not claim moral or spiritual authority over people outside of their group who did not consent to it.

6. They have handled the personal gnosis of members skillfully in the past – “skillfully” meaning in ways that have not created clouds of drama, and have satisfied all members to the greatest extent that they could be satisfied while not compromising the structure of the group. They have implemented (or inherited and used) a workable system for judging personal gnosis that has proven itself to be reasonably reliable.

7. They speak courteously about the personal gnosis of others, both inside and outside of their group, even when – perhaps especially when – it differs strongly from their own. They encourage similar courtesy among their members, and quash backbiting. They may firmly disagree with someone else’s position, but they do not descend into personal attacks or unfounded accusations designed to throw suspicion on the character of people with opposing gnosis, and openly discourage such reactions among their members. They differentiate between unwanted behavior and unwanted gnosis in former members – rather than “Joe was an evil pantheist who thought that Pan and Frey were the same god,” it should be “Joe disrupted a ritual and upset people by calling Pan by the name of Frey even when we’d asked him not to bring that up in group rites.”

8. They react to accusations of bad behavior by group members by thoroughly investigating the problem before stating an opinion on it, and they ask group members to similarly reserve judgment until the investigations are finished and a report made. (This should be especially true with regard to bad behavior that stems from someone’s personal gnosis.) They discourage intra-group hysteria and drama, and provide a constant voice of reason. They investigate multiple sources of the accusations, and cross-check all sides equally. They do not consider harm to be done unless someone is willing to come forth and claim that they have been harmed; accusations that “I heard on the Internet that they hurt someone, but I don’t know who that is,” should not be counted as useful information in an investigation.

9. They react to accusations of bad behavior by people outside the group by first thoroughly investigating as to whether the actions of the accused will actually affect the group in any meaningful way, besides providing gossip fodder. If the answer is no, they remind the group of this and refocus them back onto their own practice. If the answer is yes, they thoroughly investigate the problem before stating an opinion on it, and again ask group members to reserve judgment until they are finished. They remember at all times that most people enjoy a state of exciting drama over a state of boring peace, and will consciously or unconsciously attempt to proliferate the drama. They remind people over and over that if something is alleged, it should be proven before it is believed. A good group leader is a speaker for the truth, and rumors are the enemy of truth.

10. If someone has at one point claimed to be harmed by someone’s actions, but is unwilling to discuss this or stand forth, the group leader should offer their protection for speaking the truth. If this does not suffice, the claimant must be told that their experience will be discounted if they are not willing to stand behind it. This is a hard point, and many group leaders give way before someone’s wish to be safely anonymous and still have their “attacker” punished, especially when it’s near-impossible to tell whether the “accuser” is simply too frightened or is unwilling to defend a partially or completely untrue accusation. However, the leader owes it to the group to give them trustworthy evidence as to whether to believe something that may affect them, and this sometimes means making unpopular decisions between privacy and group stability.

11. They react to fears of possible outside negative influences by calmly and objectively investigating the likelihood of the influence affecting their group (beyond merely frightening people). If the possibility proves itself to be negligible, they calm down the fearful in the group.

12. If , for whatever reason, they are unable to investigate any of these problems calmly and objectively due to personal issues, they appoint someone whose judgment they trust and who can be calm and rational about the problem (perhaps because they’re not involved with the group) to investigate for them. This assumes that they have such trusted individuals to call on, which they should.

13. They have good problem-solving skills, and they are quicker to attempt to resolve conflict than to start it. They are good at conflict resolution, and they encourage courtesy and appreciation for each other in all their members.

14. They are appreciative of the strong points of their members, and accepting of their personal idiosyncrasies. One Pagan woman commented that she was more able to trust the opinion of a group leader who accepted her as a person. Another commented on the importance of giving credit where credit was due: “Joe, if I wanted advice on X, you’d be the first person I’d come to. However, this is Y, and I need to listen to someone who’s as experienced in Y as you are at X. Where the problem infringes on X, that’s where I’m going to take your opinion more seriously.”

Being the leader of a religious group is one of the most difficult jobs ever given to a human being. It’s often assumed (even if it’s not part of your group’s official doctrine) that you will be some sort of intermediary between the Divine and the people, especially if you’re a priest/ess and not just an administrator. When a Message Bearer shows up, it can create insecurities: “I’m the priest, why didn’t they give me the message?” In some cases, it may be useful to ask whether the message was sent by this medium for a reason, a reason that has nothing to do with the group you protect and everything to do with learning lessons about your own triggers and issues. While that may not be the case, it’s certainly worth musing about, if only when you’re home alone. It might even be true if the message is entirely false; it might be the Universe testing your ability to gracefully handle such things. So long as we deal with real Gods and spirits, and they continue to be interested in assisting our evolution, such ambivalent lessons will keep occurring throughout our lifetimes.

Personal Gnosis Responsibilities Part 2:

2009-06-28T12:01:00.002-04:00

By Raven Kaldera

The Message Bearer

Sometimes, as we’ve said, the message from the Spirits is for you and you alone. Sometimes that’s pretty clear, but other times people want to share that message – perhaps because they want to know if this sort of thing has happened to other people, or because it’s so life-changing that they just can’t keep it inside themselves. Sometimes the message even comes with the dictum: Share this. Put it out where others can see. The Message Bearer might write about it, or talk about it in workshops or discussion groups. In this case, the Message Bearer has the responsibility of acknowledging in the writing or the discussion that this is their own personal message, their own gnosis. They need not apologize for it, and one clear acknowledgment should be enough.

The problem comes in when the Message Bearer brings their personal gnosis to their religious group and asks to have it integrated into group practice and values. Sometimes the message may even be something concerning the group practice itself, which always has the potential to be controversial. While we’ve already established that a group needs to have a clear process by which to judge people’s personal gnosis, the Message Bearer is not devoid of responsibility for how the process goes.

If the Gods and spirits have given you a message and indicated that you must take that message to other people, you have been given a sacred trust, and you must not abuse the trust that They have in you. Certain obligations will be landing on your head, and if you shirk them, you will be dishonoring their gift of knowledge. If you’re a spirit-worker – if you’re the one with the “spirit-phone” who gets messages on a regular basis – you have an extra obligation to be scrupulous about these obligations, because you’re going to be in this situation a lot, and you’d better learn to get it right.

1. First, cross-check your information. Get divination on the matter. We suggest getting readings on the subject from two different people – one who understands your spiritual situation and is sympathetic, and one who is distant and does not know or care about your situation. If they differ, something’s wrong. Discard the reading that is the one closest to what you want to hear, and try another one with a similar person. If you still get differing results, replace the other diviner and try again with someone similar. If there’s no cohesion after all this, put the matter aside and pray, asking the Gods and spirits to send clarity. Don’t try anything with the information for at least three months.

2. In order to best carry out the trust that the Gods and spirits have placed in you, you have an obligation to pass the message along in the way that will get it heard most effectively. If you simply throw it out and your target audience doesn’t get the message, or gets it wrong and becomes angry with you, you’ve failed in the Gods’ mission and dishonored the message that they trusted you with. Getting something heard most effectively may require using language that is familiar and respectable to the target group, or speaking from a persona that is nonthreatening to them and emphasizes what you have in common. It may mean giving out part of the message and creating a foundation that might eventually support the rest of it. It might mean intimately studying the attitudes and biases of your target audience, or seeking help from sympathetic members for ways to craft the “packaging” of the message. While the Gods don’t want you to compromise the meaning, effectively carrying out their trust may mean coming as close to that line as is humanly possible in your attempts to make it hear-able to them.

3. Ask not only whether you got the message clearly, but whether you are the best person to pass it along. We all like to think that we’re special, but it may be that you’re meant to pass it to someone who your target audience will be more likely to listen to. That may require some swallowing of pride, but the Gods are less concerned with your pride and more concerned with getting things done properly.

4. Be clear on who your target audience is. If it’s “people in general” or “random unknown people out there who are in the same situation as me,” your obligation is correspondingly less. You should indicate in your spoken or written message that this material is intended for that audience, and that it is your own personal gnosis, and that’s all you need to do. If your target audience is a specific demographic, it’s on you to make the message as effectively heard as possible, which might mean get expert help from sympathetic people in that demographic who can aid you in your slant. When you are a Divine Messenger, you need to remember that the medium is as important as the message, because if the audience rejects the medium the message dies and you’ve failed. You also need to remember that you and your public behavior are part of the medium.

If your target audience is a specific group of people with a leader, then the best thing that you can do is to go to the leader and ask them how to get this message across to people in a nonthreatening way. Remember that to be the spiritual leader of a group is also a sacred trust; leaders are gatekeepers that protect their people, and that’s their appropriate job. Be wary of personal gnosis that casts you as the implacable enemy of the leader (or the whole group) with no compromise but their surrender, or the one who is charged with “teaching them a lesson”, or the victimized and misunderstood voice in the wilderness. Those are extremely likely to come out of your own baggage. If you are fairly sure that the leader is going to reject your message, it may help to talk to members who know the leader well and can give advice on how to present it convincingly. Unless you intend to supplant and banish the leader (which is a dangerous game), don’t go over their heads and begin shilling for support for your idea without talking to them. It’s unlikely that you’ll get their cooperation after that, and things will probably go downhill at that point.

5. In addition, make sure that you know who your target audience isn’t. If you’re writing for people in one denomination, the disapproval of people in other denominations can be ignored, so long as you are being courteous about other groups and their differences from your own. You’re not trying to please everyone; you’re trying to get a message through effectively to a specific bunch of people. Achieving that, whatever it takes, is your job … and in this instance, if you don’t practically decide whose biases to take into account and whose to ignore, you aren’t doing your job.

6. If all else fails and you can’t find a way to pass it on effectively, it’s time to throw yourself down in front of their altar and say, “Lord/Lady, I want to do your message justice and get it heard and accepted by the greatest possible number, but I don’t know how to do that! Please give me some guidance in how I can make this happen.” If they gave you the Word to pass on, they’re obligated to help you do it … but sometimes you have to ask for help rather than stumbling in with guns of enthusiasm blazing and making a mess.

Throughout history, mystics have tended to be divided into two groups: the ones that the current social structure honors, and the ones that are outcasts. Sometimes the dividing line is political – those who say what the current group in power doesn’t want to hear will be blacklisted. Sometimes it’s about social standards – one recalls St. Francis and how his poverty-lifestyle horrified his rich Italian family. Sometimes it’s because the Gods and spirits pick someone who has good “psychic hearing” but isn’t the most stable of people (and there are many anecdotal reports that having a really strong psychic receiver throughout one’s childhood isn’t exactly conducive to perfect sanity). Sometimes it’s because the Gods and spirits lay taboos or demand behaviors from the mystic that clash with their culture and make them seem somewhat less than respectable. In fact, it seems like the most famous mystics didn’t start out as anyone “respectable”, and the few that did quickly turned away from what had given them that socially stable reputation in the first place. The call of the Divine can be all-encompassing, and in the face of it all the human rules can seem extremely trivial.

Still, it is up to the mystic who feels driven to get their message through to a discrete group to find the best possible balance of who they must be to be true to their calling, and who they must be to actually communicate most effectively. That can be the barest knife’s edge, but one assumes that the Gods and spirits would not choose someone who couldn’t eventually figure out how to do that … maybe after a few years of hard knocks. Still, some mystics were reviled curmudgeons to the end of their days, and it was not until well after their death that their works were revered. Perhaps to the Gods and spirits, with their long view of Time and the Universe, that’s good enough, but it can be fairly demoralizing to the Message Bearer in question.

Is being someone on the “edge” of society more likely to make you able to hear the Gods? Is hearing the Gods more likely to put you on the edge of society? We don’t know for sure, although speculations have been rife for hundreds of years. But they are still valid questions to ask, especially to the Message Bearer who is trying to balance looking trustworthy to the People and being true to the Gods, and shirk neither … because in this case, to shirk the one is to betray the other. It will never be an easy road to walk.

Students, Apprentices, and Teachers Oh MY!

2009-06-26T16:22:00.000-04:00

By Sophie Reicher

Magicians are territorial creatures. We grow more so as our power and skill levels increase. Working magic well takes a certain stubborn dominance of will that can lead to an incredible sensitivity toward power, territory and boundaries. We know where the sphere of our influence ends to the centimeter and we generally don’t much like others of equal power coming within a hundred yards of our territory, even sometimes when this happens by our own invitation. Negotiating protocol between a group of master magicians can be a headache-inducing exercise in diplomacy and tact (even when all of the magicians involved are good friends—there’s friendship and then there’s work after all). This is in part because magic is all about gaining and using power. I have heard politics called ‘the art of the possible’ and in truth, I think magic fits this bill even more. Those of us who reach the higher levels of practice are patterned and formed by the practice itself. If we don’t start out with rather large egos (often based in very clearly recognized and demonstrable skill), we tend to develop them over time. It goes, if you will pardon the pun, with the territory. High level magic can be quite difficult and quite physically painful and the Master or Adept develops a certain stubborn willfulness to endure and gain the upper hand. It’s a side effect of the necessities of training.

I never really gave much thought to how this affects a magician’s interaction with his or her students or apprentices until very recently. Over the years I have had both but the past two years I took something of a sabbatical from teaching (one does run the risk of burn out after awhile). Only recently have I again opened my doors to students and one erstwhile apprentice. I recently outsourced my current apprentice to another master magician for very specific training. When that magician in turn brought in a third teacher without informing me, I became quite angry. It was a violation (all unintentional on both our parts) of the protocol I had been taught. We’re all control freaks. That too goes with the territory: magicians are obsessed with controlling every aspect of their world as much as possible. Nowhere is that more pronounced than with students. There is a certain professional, collegial courtesy, an etiquette that we maintain when dealing with another’s student or apprentice, one that I’d never had cause to consciously put into words before. It’s painfully easy to forget about that etiquette when dealing with a colleague who is also a close friend. While the other magician and I had a productive discussion that resulted in my being kept ‘in the organizational loop’ so to speak (which was what I’d wanted), and while I agreed that the outsourcing to a third party was right and necessary, the whole incident caused me to re-evaluate how we were taught to relate to students and apprentices and what the difference between the two might be. There are differences and there is a traditional dynamic, a cosmological groove that often comes into play and oh how I wish I’d realized it when I first began teaching!

So here it is and any students or apprentices reading this might find the reality of the matter a bit dismaying. Understand that the magician is bound just as strongly as the student or apprentice. It’s in no way a one-sided binding. There are obligations and duties on both sides. No one gets the proverbial free lunch here. Basically, students and apprentices are both physical extensions of the magician’s territory. Understand that this means exactly what it says: the apprentice, particularly, and to a lesser degree the student are extensions of the magician’s sphere of influence. Students have far more freedom than apprentices and the magician has far fewer responsibilities to someone who is just a student (though what responsibilities there are tend to be quite binding). How tightly a magician controls the life of the Student or apprentice varies from practitioner to practitioner. I tend to train the way I myself was trained which was pretty old-fashioned and strict though the older I get the more flexible it seems I’ve become about the whole thing, at least in part.

There is a reason for the strictness of the training: an apprentice is learning to wield a significant amount of power. This is not a game or imaginary exercise. He or she is being exposed to training that can make him quite dangerous. It is the master’s responsibility to ensure that the student develops a certain sense of ethics, discipline and control, that he is she is not unbalanced by the training or the power, that he understands the costs, and the difference between lawful and unlawful action. Until the magician is sure that the student isn’t going to go off the deep end, or egregiously misuse his training, it’s best to keep control so that any potential problems can be nipped in the bud. We’ve all seen students who gain a little skill and suddenly develop egos all out of proportion to their training and who then rush out to do stupid things that end up either getting themselves or someone else hurt, or creating a mess for their teacher to clean up. The way to offset this is to maintain appropriate hierarchy, no matter how frustrating that might seem. It’s not enough to have the skill, there must also be a level of maturity and discipline. Understanding what I call chain of command from the very beginning helps immensely with that. It also gives the teacher the magical access and, moreover, the karmic right to lock the student down if necessary.

The magician is responsible for protecting the student or apprentice, for training him (or her), for helping him develop his gifts, and in some cases (I’m thinking of live in apprentices here) of providing room and board. In return, the apprentice or student works his ass off doing whatever he is told. That obedience is the coin with which the Student/apprentice pays for training. Apprenticeship takes this dynamic a step further. The apprentice is far more integrated into the magician’s life and household. Whereas students are simply expected to practice, study, and not seek out external training without permission, apprentices may become the magician’s errand boys, girl Fridays, house keepers, and assistants as needed. They maintain a far closer relationship with the magician and in turn, gain far more knowledge and power. Essentially, the apprentice becomes a reservoir for a certain level of power invested in him by the magician. The apprentice then becomes a living extension of the magician’s will. Over time, the magician begins to allow the apprentice to take more and more of an active role in whatever work is being done, to express far more individual initiative, and over time, both of these things combine to pattern and prepare the apprentice for handling higher and higher levels of power. Eventually, the bond reaches its fulfillment and the apprentice goes off on his own with the blessings of his teacher. The only obligation then maintained is that the apprentice cannot/should not use what he learned against his teacher. There remains a hierarchy of respect. It can be at its worst, a brutal system. At its best, it functions with military precision.

The downside occurs when expectations are not clearly set from the beginning. There is also the inevitability of transference (or counter transference), particularly if the Student or apprentice has any unresolved parental or authority issues. It’s incumbent on the magician to maintain constant objectivity with regard to the teacher-Student/apprentice relationship. The personal should not enter into it. It’s a hard road. My apprentice years were awful but I learned a tremendous amount and I don’t regret them in the least. I also learned that the hardest thing for a teacher is to know when to let go, when there is nothing more to teach. In the best relationship, the teacher learns as much from the process of teaching as the apprentice or Student does. Ideally, the apprentice is the most trusted person in the magician’s life. This is the person the magician is grooming to become a colleague, an equal, maybe a replacement. They should ultimately work as a well-honed team. It doesn’t always work out that way, but that is the ideal.

I also maintain a difference between a student: someone who comes to me asking for specific training in one or two areas, or who takes a class from me and a Student, someone who wants to learn the ins and outs of an esoteric art on an ongoing basis but who is not, for some reason, wishing to become an apprentice. I far prefer working with students, as the reciprocal obligations are few (teach what they’ve asked you to teach and let them go). The more in depth that a magician is working with someone, the more obligations for that person’s training, well-being, and safety the magician incurs. If an apprentice that I have trained goes bad, I’m responsible for cleaning up the mess and locking that person down regardless of the cost to myself. The severity of the teaching relationship allows the teacher to, as accurately as possible, suss out potential problems and instabilities. The downside is that as the apprentice progresses, he is well-placed to harm his teacher because he will know the ins and outs of the teacher’s protections and has access to the teacher’s workspace and tools. There’s a great degree of trust required on both sides. It also presupposes a degree of maturity and integrity on the part of the magician that, in reality, may sometimes be lacking. I see nothing wrong with asking for a trial period before entering into a master-apprentice bond because the last thing someone needs is to end up with a Teacher who is cruel or unbalanced. I’m not averse to actually writing up a contract with clearly defined responsibilities on both sides.

There is another side to the teacher-apprentice relationship (and to a limited degree the teacher-Student relationship) that is almost never discussed. Because the Student or Apprentice is so connected to the Teacher, the law of negative rebound often comes into affect. We most often see this with familiars: if someone throws malicious or harmful magic at a magician and his or her shields are too strong for the magic to affect him or her directly, it will often rebound and strike the point of greatest weakness: finances, love relationship, pets’ health, car…anything that isn’t protected adequately. One of the reasons that many magicians traditionally had pet familiars is that they form an early warning system that someone is trying to attack the magician magically. Familiars will absorb attacks meant for the magician and in worst case scenarios will sicken and die. This protects the magician and gives warning that counter measures must be taken. It’s one of the fundamental purposes of a familiar. Likewise, a powerful attack can hit the Students and apprentices before hitting the Master. This is one of the primary reasons that I keep a close and watchful eye on my own Students and my one apprentice: it is my duty to protect them from this eventuality. If you want to make a brutal point and weaken a magician, strike at his or her apprentice. It’s rude. It’s unfair. It’s a violation of traditional protocol but it’s also damned effective. It is right of ownership, invoked by the power of the traditional master-apprentice bond that allows the master magician to adequately circumvent this danger.

None of this means that the master magician doesn’t see and value the individual personality and talents of the Student or apprentice. He does. In fact he has to. It’s because of who the apprentice is that the magician accepted him or her in that role in the first place. There has to be mutual respect and a certain compatibility of approach and personality for it to really work well. What I’m discussing above is the over-arching dynamic in which that personal relationship rests, the bigger picture, if you will. The best teachers that I’ve encountered are the ones who are always carefully and exquisitely aware of their duties and responsibilities, who never take either students, Students, or apprentices for granted. It’s a privilege, not a right to take on that role. We have an obligation to be the type of teachers we ourselves would have wanted.

This is the reason why magicians often want students or apprentices but also at the same time dread having them.

Personal Gnosis Responsibilities Part 1: Newbies, Seekers, and Converts

2009-06-24T16:49:00.002-04:00

By Raven Kaldera

Neo-Paganism is largely a religion of converts. There are a small number of members who were raised in it and decided to stay, but the vast majority were raised in other faiths (or none) and converted at some point in their adult lives. This means that there is a continual trickle of folks who look into various Neo-Pagan groups to see if they’re right for them. Some will stay; some might move on to other Neo-Pagan traditions; others might leave entirely and become Buddhists or Hindus (or even go back to the faith of their upbringing). This is common, and expected. A spiritual quest may take someone through many paths, each of which rings true in some small way, until they find the one with the truest ring for them. It’s also true that human beings change over time, and the path that was right for us this year may not fit as well a couple of decades later. People aren’t static, and neither is their spirituality.

In some mainstream religious denominations, great efforts are made to convince potential converts to stay, and to prevent them from leaving and seeking out another group. Part of this may be due to a doctrinal dictum that stresses gathering quantity of members at all costs, or that believes in terrible consequences for any human beings who aren’t part of that group and honestly wants to “save” them, but usually it’s due to the entirely human emotional reaction of wanting group validation of one’s beliefs from as many people as possible. In these groups, schisms are seen as entirely negative and unwanted, and it is considered acceptable to attempt to restrict exposure to other religious ideas. (Most Neo-Pagans, being of a more tolerant bent, would tend to consider these groups as “repressive”.)

Since many of these denominations strongly value a generational continuation of their structure – meaning the children of the members will grow up to stay in the group and pass on their beliefs to their members rather than seeking out other truths – it is considered especially effective to restrict the spiritual explorations of children and adolescents. One hears “But what about the children!” often when theologically “threatening” practices are brought up, as in: “The children might hear about this, and be led astray! We must prevent them from ever finding out about it, because of course they’ll value the shiny new dogma over the familiar, because they’re too young to know any better.”

In Neo-Paganism, the subject of children’s religious rights has been a controversial one. Since we’ve generally been suspicious of any group that claims theirs is the Only Way, and the practice that all human beings on the earth should follow, and since we’ve historically embraced the idea that all people should choose their own path, we’ve usually (although not always) been liberal about allowing children to learn about a multiplicity of religious choices. Some groups – generally the initiatory mystery traditions who will not initiate anyone too young to make their own decisions – have erred on the side of teaching children about many different religions and refusing to privilege their own over any other. Others raise their children in their own tradition, but do not prevent them from exploring other options in adolescence, or punish them for doing so.

Second-generation Neo-Pagans, however, are still only a small percentage of our number, so we rarely hear objections on the “…but what about the children!” topic. Ironically, though, we do hear that same language with the word “newbies” inserted to replace “children”. “But what about the newbies! They’ll hear (alternative theology X), and they’ll be confused, and they might stray!” And so forth. One assumes that this is largely coming from people who were raised in the above “repressive” sort of groups, and who have not yet abandoned the concept of quantity-at-all-costs, or who take every defection as a personal invalidation of their beliefs.

The difference, of course, is that newbies are not children. They are, one assumes, mentally competent adults. (If they aren’t mentally competent adults, there will be some sort of legal caretaker to deal with, and one should proceed as if they are someone else’s child. If the state considers them mentally competent and you don’t, letting them into your group is probably going to cause more problems than it’s worth.) To treat a newcomer to your denomination as if they were a child, as if they were not capable of weighing opposing views, asking questions of multiple people, and making the decision that is best for them, is a profound insult. To even speak of newcomers, as a group, in this way is a profound insult.

It’s a rare Pagan who will admit, “Yes, when I first came to Neo-Paganism, I was so stupid and incompetent that I was incapable of reading multiple books, asking questions about anything unclear, and judging opposing viewpoints. I’m so indebted to the group that I joined for raising me to the level of being capable of making decisions when faced with a movie marquee or a restaurant menu. I’m so glad that they’ve prevented me from sullying my delicate mind with alternative concepts that will no doubt turn me into a confused, quivering wreck were I even to contemplate them.” Yet by even suggesting that certain concepts should not be available to newcomers, you are implying that this is the norm among them.

Most “newbies” – and personally I’d rather use the term “seekers” here as it’s less diminutizing – have a strong concept of what they don’t want, even if they’re not sure about what they do want. They know, for example, that wherever they came from is not what they want, or they’d still be there. They came looking for something that resounded in them, and they may leave looking for something that resounds more closely. For a seeker to look elsewhere is not a failure on the part of the group they are currently involved with. For a seeker to leave is also not a failure – in fact, it may be a success, if you count “successful” as “knowing what it is that you are supposed to do, and being willing to risk in order to get it”. It may not be easy to see it as a success when you’re a member of the “abandoned” or “rejected” group, but a good spiritual leader will be objective about the reality of spiritual seeking, and help their group members to understand this as well.

You’ll notice that I deliberately used the words “abandoned” and “rejected”, with all their strongly emotional connotations. It’s not unusual, and not entirely abnormal, for members of a religious group to take someone moving on just that personally, with the same anger that they would have about a jilted lover. It’s also not unusual for them to react to a member looking into alternate paths (especially ones who have values or practices in opposition to those of the current group) the same way that a jealous spouse would react to their partner drooling over an attractive person in a club. This is because we’re all human, and we all have irrational weaknesses, and love of one’s faith can be just as strong in us as love of one’s partner and family. We’re not perfect, and the emotions carry over.

However, it’s long been acknowledged as the case that one’s spiritual and/or religious practices are the best forum for improving one’s self and struggling to overcome such irrational and destructive emotions. A good religious leader is one that is able to gently challenge those emotions, in their members and (ideally publicly where they can lead as an example) in themselves, and prevent them from being acted upon. Indeed, if this is not done, the result is almost always a toxic rise of fear, anger, and repression within the group. For proof of this, we need only scrutinize the history of thousands of years of mainstream groups making those mistakes on a grand and murderous level. In a sense, they have done us a huge favor by giving us these examples, and they paid for that experience in blood and pain. We, as a new religion, should be grateful that they did it for us, and that we have the opportunity to learn from their mistakes … and learn we should.

This brings us to the issue of schisms. When it’s not just a lone seeker but a whole subsection of the group that leaves, fires of insecurity can burn even higher. The usual jilted-lover feelings are often accompanied by a (perhaps justified) fear that the schism will leave the group too structurally unstable to continue. Neo-Paganism has historically had a more phlegmatic view of schisms than other faiths due to its earliest groups being initiatory mystery covens that deliberately limited their numbers for reasons of spiritual intimacy; when there were too many members, people were expected to “hive off” and form their own “sister” groups. The “hiving” policy was often used as a way to head off at the pass potential doctrinal arguments that might split a group – “Well, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe it’s time to form your own group?” This practice – directly in opposition to mainstream “quantity-at-all-costs” values – was touted as the best way to peacefully propagate (mostly Wiccan) groups.

Today Neo-Paganism is an umbrella faith with nearly as many denominations as Christianity, and they differ as drastically in their structures and doctrine as do Unitarians, Mennonites, and Russian Orthodox Christians. Some retain the old values of “splitting a group willingly and with good will is better than breaking it up angrily after attempting to keep people against their will”. On the other hand, some argue that the ease of hiving off means that people leave too soon rather than stay and work out their problems; one Pagan compared it to the concept of the high divorce rate in modern Western countries being due to the comparative ease of acquiring a modern divorce, and the attendant unwillingness to stay and work out conflicts. Since the last few decades of Neo-Pagan history have seen the rise of legal Pagan churches and congregations that exceed 50 people in number, the justification of keeping groups small and intimate seems outdated except in the remaining initiatory mystery traditions. And, of course, people don’t convert without bringing in baggage from their prior faiths.

There’s also the issue of differentiation. When there are only a few obviously different traditions, it’s easy to tell one from the other. When there are a myriad of small groups with only a few subtle variations between them (which, while they might seem superficial to an outsider, were theoretically crucial enough to schism over), it means that it might take seekers a while to differentiate them. This is often one of the areas where the cry of “Keep that information from the newbies!” is most frequent, as groups become offended that a newcomer might mistake them for that other group.

This all means that the question of whether or not to schism is no longer so simple, and will vary in smoothness from tradition to tradition. What does all this have to do with personal gnosis? It’s the single biggest reason for schisms in Neo-Pagan groups today. Ten or twenty years ago when there were fewer variations in Pagan theology, the foremost reason tended to be personal differences between group members. There’s still plenty of that today – certainly enough to run a close second – but in the anecdotal evidence we’ve gathered, someone’s personal gnosis and the divided reactions to it among group members has surpassed simple infighting as the bedrock group-splitter. (It can cause, and be accompanied by, a good deal of personal infighting, though.)

For the seeker, there are a few simple truths. First, any group that suggests, even subtly, that you ought not to read or look into other spiritual viewpoints (especially opposing ones, and most especially ones that depend on the personal gnosis of a non-member) is in essence telling you that you are not a competent adult capable of making spiritual decisions for yourself. Second, they are also telling you that they do not have faith in the truth of their own practices to speak clearly to those who are meant to embrace them. In other words, they don’t trust you, and they don’t trust their gods and spirits, however they conceive of that. Third, while groups are not obligated to never mention other groups or theologies in unflattering ways, a wise seeker will be suspicious of groups where bitching about specific outsiders, or comparing themselves positively to such people, seems to be the most popular topic of conversation. The old adage about people who continually put down others doing it out of low self-esteem applies to groups as well as individuals.

A seeker contacting a particular group, or representatives of that group, is like a stranger coming into someone’s home, and as such, all the rules of hospitality apply. In many Pagan religions, hospitality is a sacred obligation on both parts. The host has an obligation not to make the guest uncomfortable, and the guest has an obligation not to be rude to the host. When it comes to religious group activity, we could lay out the mutual obligations like this:

1. The group has an obligation to be clear about their beliefs and values. Ideally these should be written down where a seeker can read them. If joining the group is going to require specific changes in their behavior outside the group, this needs to be made clear. For example, if a group believes that the outside behavior of members will bring bad energy to (or make a bad example of) the group, and that associating with, marrying, giving money to, or reading about certain individuals or other groups will bring this on, that needs to be laid out up front where a newcomer can find it easily. If they will be expected to become vegetarians, they have to know that rather immediately. It is indicative of a lack of maturity in the group to have clusters of unwritten rules that “everyone” knows about but no one can be held accountable for subtly (or unsubtly) coercing people into following. Seekers should be wary of groups who are uncomfortable with openly “owning” their rules, or putting them in writing. (Certain practices may be secret and open only to initiated members, but basic theological beliefs, values, and rules of living can’t fairly be in this category.)

2. The group has an obligation to be clear about how personal gnosis is handled in their group. How is it judged? By what people? By what standards? What’s an example of how it was done in a way that the group finds acceptable? While a group does have the right to ban all personal gnosis from entering group practice, be suspicious of groups that don’t have a clear process for judging it, or have a history of handling it badly (meaning in ways that create backbiting and disharmony).

3. The group has an obligation to be clear about who their group actually consists of, and who they are speaking for. This requires being honest and up-front about which of their values and beliefs are actually shared by other groups in their tradition, and groups outside of their tradition. Right now in Neo-Paganism, there are almost no traditions who have agreed to a central religious authority that is allowed to define beliefs and practices for all groups within that tradition, and cast them out if they dissent. Therefore, when a group claims that their beliefs and practices are shared comprehensively among all other groups in their tradition, be suspicious. The wise seeker will cross-check that with other groups in that tradition, especially ones that are geographically far away and/or have no connection with the group in front of them.

4. The group has an obligation to make sure that the person who explains the group values and beliefs to newcomers is actually authorized to do so by all members of the group.

5. The group has an obligation to make it clear how belief during ritual events is handled. For example, if a newcomer is not sure that they believe in the group’s theology, can they take part in participatory rituals, or should they refrain out of respect? Can they “act as if” without actually believing, or is that sacrilegious? Does belief make a difference at all, or is the only issue polite and appropriate behavior?

6. The group has an obligation to be clear about the customs and behavior expected during their events, and to designate someone to brief newcomers. This is especially important if the group has a fairly closed structure that has created its own specific internal culture, or a good deal of formal ritual protocol. If a newcomer badly violates a custom, the first person to call is their designated “protocol handler”. If the protocol person didn’t explain that rule properly, the newcomer is blameless. A reasonably decent newcomer will feel embarrassed enough having been set up for possible failure; calling them out for it adds insult to hospitality injury.

7. The group has an obligation to refrain from deciding that they know what is spiritually best for any given newcomer.

The seeker, on the other hand, has the following responsibilities:

1. The seeker is obligated to remember that every group has the right to set their own rules. If you don’t approve of their rules, no one’s stopping you from leaving. (See that part about schisming we mentioned earlier.) You may feel that their rules are stupid, destructive, or sacrilegious, but it is a breach of trust to say that while enjoying that group’s hospitality. If you really have questions about their practices that you’d like more understanding of, speak to the leader or to designated spokespeople in private – not in a roomful of people – and keep your tone respectful and not contemptuous or accusatory. Ask in a way that’s designed to foster good communication, not defensiveness.

2. The seeker has an obligation to wait on asking the group to incorporate any of their personal gnosis until they have been in the group long enough to make a commitment and earn their place as a member. It’s neither fair nor terribly effective to walk in and start telling people how they ought to do things differently.

3. The seeker has an obligation to bring up personal qualities, practices, deeply held beliefs, or existing spiritual commitments that might conflict with the group’s practice and theology. There’s no point in waiting until one is invested to find out if they’re homophobic, or let them know that you want to belong to another religious group at the same time, or that you really believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is your true patron. It’s best to get a rejection out of the way first thing, to the relief of both parties. This may seem to violate the last rule mentioned, but there’s a clear difference between saying, “I believe this, even though it’s just my own thing,” and “I think this is the way that groups in Tradition X ought to believe.” If the group has trouble seeing that difference, and treats a careful statement about personal beliefs as a generalizing reproach, that’s good evidence of a lack of objectivity and reason. Similarly, the seeker has a spiritual obligation not to lie about their actual beliefs in order to please the new group.

4. The seeker has an obligation to respect the customs and protocols of the group as they are explained to them, at every event that they choose to attend. There’s no excuse for acting rudely, or challenging them on their customs, when you have no commitment to their well-being. If the seeker cannot bring themselves to follow one particular custom for personal, ethical, or spiritual reasons, they should privately seek out the leader or an elder in the group with their concerns beforehand, and see if they can participate in the event without taking part in that custom. An example of this might be an abuse survivor who has trouble being touched by strangers facing a ritual that requires embraces as a greeting, or a ritual where participants are requested to make a promise that conflicts with an existing vow. A mature and responsive group leader will try to make a newcomer comfortable if possible, but if the rule cannot be bent for whatever reason, the newcomer has an obligation to step aside and not attend if need be. If the newcomer’s personal practices are such that they cannot attend an event without violating group customs, for the Gods’ sakes don’t inflict yourself on them.

While a seeker who moves on from a group isn’t obligated to tell them why, it is a courtesy. If the reason is just “it wasn’t for me, no harm done”, it might relieve worried members who are afraid that they offended. If there was an actual problem, it can be useful to a group if a recently departed newcomer courteously points out ways in which they were made to feel unsafe or unwelcome, so long as it is done with an attitude of “It might not occur to you folks that someone might be made to feel bad about this, so I’m just giving you useful information for the future,” and not “You bad, horrible people hurt my feelings,” or “You’re doing it all wrong!”

If a seeker acts like a competent adult, they have the right to expect to be treated like one. If a group expects them to act like one, they should come through. One hopes that if such codes of conduct were socially encouraged in our demographic, they might end the problem of infantilizing “newbies” and make welcoming a newcomer a less suspicious activity.

Apologies for the hiatus

2009-06-24T16:46:00.002-04:00

So, we're back, from outer space... no wrong song.

Right, sorry for the break here at Gods' Mouths, we had a bit of a meltdown and a bit of traveling, but we're done now and posting may commence.

-the editor.

Godaþegn and Godatheow

2009-05-25T12:43:00.002-04:00

By Hrafn

One of the larger--and more uncomfortable--areas of discussion right now among Spirit Workers is the nature of our relationships with the gods. Some of the terms that get used, such as "god slave," carry a great deal of baggage with them. Many of the more prominent members and authors of our community claim the title godatheow (godslave). I will go into significantly more depth on this topic later, but for the moment I would like to talk about impressions. One of my concerns is that newbies will get the wrong idea and believe that godatheow is somehow a "higher" form of relationship with the gods or a natural state that spirit workers tend to migrate to as they become more advanced. They may also conclude that these individuals have become "closer" to the gods than they can get without going through the same process. While the current group of authors and godatheow generally disavow this, it doesn't help that so many of our highly visible members are godatheow, and many of them interact with one another enough that it can give both them and others a skewed impression of our community, leading Galina Krasskova to say in her essay Terms of Service:

"I am a godatheow, a godslave. Most of the spiritworkers and shamans that
I know are also godslaves - outright owned by their Deities. It goes with
the territory."

While later on she states that One does not need to be a godslave to serve -- I want to make that abundantly clear -- no more than one needs to be a priest, or healer, or ordeal worker to serve and be of use to their Gods one still walks away--in general--with the feeling that if you are a Spirit Worker in the Northern Tradition and not a godatheow then, on some level, UR DOIN IT WRONG. My teacher has over 20 years of experience and is in the service of Freyja. While I am working on three years in my Spirit Work training, I have around 11 years work as an occultist and have been service of Odin for over 4 years. Most of the members of my group have similar--or more--experience in a variety of different occult communities. I have friends who have undergone a full shamanic initiation, others who are shamanic practitioners of varying degrees of "immersion," and many who are members of initiatory magical traditions. Very few of these individuals--spirit workers, shamans, and occultists--could be referred to as godatheow. Not that there is a problem with being a godatheow, but I have to believe that it is fully possible to serve the gods--even as a spirit worker--without being a full slave to those deities. In short, I would like to challenge the assumption that it goes with the territory, and say that there are a growing number of us that are not god slaves--are for one reason or another not suited or required to be god slaves--but are still dedicated, Northern Tradition spirit workers. I also want to emphasize that I am approaching this with an attitude of this also rather than this instead. The Vanic-oriented practitioner Nicanthiel commented on this as well, stating that:

"As such, there has been a lot of talk in spiritworker circles, especially
those connected to Cauldron Farm, of god-slavery as the default spiritworker
paradigm; the assumption seems to be, either you are completely en-thralled
by your Boss(es), or you're not really a spiritworker. I challenge that assumption,
because not everyone is suited for slavery, and indeed, not every God wants a
slave, Frey being the most obvious example. Are people called by such Gods, or
lack the nature required for full slavery to be denied the right to serve their Gods?
Even Odin doesn?t always want slaves; sometimes, all He wants is just a warrior,
or just a magician, or just a tool."

Nicanthiel presents the term goda?egn/godathegn as an alternative, where "?egn" would be a noble servant of a higher noble. Raven Kaldera summarizes this term nicely and gives it his stamp of approval, saying that a goda?egn would be someone who had a strong (perhaps oathbound) bond with their deity, but had full agency except in some limited areas, and could leave if worst came to worst. I feel that this accurately encompasses my path as a spirit worker, it correlates with my own UPG of my relationship with Odin, and am going to start using it in my own practice. I firmly believe that one does not need to be a godatheow to serve the gods, even as a devoted spirit worker or shamanic practitioner, and that a god may find one person well suited to be a godatheow, and find a completely different use for another individual that doesn't require that kind of relationship. These paths are mostly just different, and come with their own risks and characteristics, and some come with their own unique safety considerations. Like with relationships: Internal Enslavement isn't "higher" than Total Power Exchange isn't higher than M/s isn't higher than D/s isn't higher than vanilla and polyamory is not higher than monogamy or vice versa: they are different models and suitable to different people, to negotiate with each other.

Coming Out of the Drum Closet

2009-05-23T16:20:00.002-04:00

We who consider ourselves god-touched are often at a loss as to how to explain the peculiarities of our lives to friends, family, co-workers or maybe even co-religionists who do not share our peculiar circumstances. Fear of being criticized, mocked, dismissed or disbelieved keeps many of us from talking about our experiences. It's easy to believe that you are the only one who hears the voice of the Holy Ones, who feels the spirits' presence in your surroundings, who speaks to the dead, or who has those crazy dreams or weird synchroniticies, especially when you're surrounded by other people who quite obviously don't, or who may even sneer at those who do. This is a shame. It would be wonderful if we lived in a society where people were accepting without being judgmental about other people's lives, but we don't. So the question for most of us is, how open should we be about "this god-touched thing," and how much information is too much?

Not everyone necessarily wants to be open at all, it should be remembered. That's a choice that ought to be respected. Keeping that aspect of your life entirely private may be an option for you, but it's not necessarily an option for everyone. Some of us are expected by our gods to have full disclosure about everything in our lives. Some of us are expected to speak openly on only a few topics, but must be completely honest about those few. And some of us just feel obligated to tell those we care about what's up with us, because we love them and because it could affect them in future -- heck, it may be affecting them right now. Even if you can handle giving details about your life to perfect strangers in a workshop presentation or on a website, however, it's often awkward and difficult to think about having that same level of openness with one's family and friends because there is more at stake, emotionally speaking. So how does a god-touched person go about coming out of the drum closet, so to speak, with people who might have known you before you were claimed by the spirits, people whom you see and interact with every day or who are otherwise in a position to be deeply affected by this circumstance?

The simple answer is to do whatever the gods or spirits tell you to do. In some ways, it's easier if They have insisted that you be completely honest with everybody about talking to spirits and hearing them talking to you, because while it's scary, at least you don't have to keep track of who knows and who doesn't -- which in a worst-case scenario can turn into a tragicomic exercise in half-truths and lies by omission that might literally drive you mad with distraction and paranoia. If your patron deity has commanded that you will always answer when asked a direct question about your spiritual work, well, you'e probably got no choice but to do so regardless of who's asking the question. Sometimes a certain level of disclosure will satisfy -- perhaps the spirits do not care how much detail you go into so long as you're honest about being a devotee of whatever tradition doing whatever work it is that you do. It's largely dependent on your individual relationship with Them.

However, not all the gods care whether or not we are open with other mortals about our spiritual lives. What if you don't get any feedback at all? What if They have purposely left it up to you to decide? This happens more often than not. I believe that people who are required to be relatively public about their lives are in a minority. Judging from the experiences of the many god-touched folks I've known, often the spirits are insistent about being active and visible within one's (often tiny) religious community but leave it up to you whether or not to tell Mom and Dad you've become a god's consort and that's why you dumped your last boyfriend. So how do you handle this sort of thing? Or should you even bother?

Before you decide, consider this: in many ways, coming out as a god-touched person is a lot like coming out as gay. You've got some people who're prepared to accept and love you no matter what, and some who will recoil at the news. Some people will never, ever believe that this wasn't a choice you made. Some people will be fascinated (not always in a flattering way) and some won't care. Some people might be disappointed but will still care about you anyway, and some will never want to speak to you again because things are just too weird. Even our various religious communities are full of in-fighting and disagreement about the proper place of "people like us," with some arguing that it is a valid spiritual path and some saying that we're all just a bunch of self-aggrandizing wankers who can't be content just worshiping the gods and spirits like normal people do.

I can't assure anybody reading this of a good response from their loved ones and friends when and if you decide to tell them about being a spirit-worker or a witch or a priest or an oracle or a shaman or a healer. But eventually, if your connection with the spirits means that much to you and has that much of an impact on your life, you'll have to address this, and you'll have to think carefully about how to go about it. Will being totally public about your spiritual pursuits hinder you or help you in other areas of life? Is your family likely to disown you? What about your spouse and kids -- are they likely to freak out if you appear in the living room wearing cat-skin gloves and a bag of runes at your belt on your way to a seidh session? Do you live in an area where you are likely to be harassed and threatened for your beliefs? Would you job be in jeopardy? You have to use your best judgment in each instance, and sometimes you'll guess wrong. You might choose to hide your spiritual experiences from someone and live to regret it, or conversely, you might choose to be honest yet meet only with rejection and anger. I wish it were otherwise. In my mind, being god-touched shouldn't even be a matter of controversy, merely a fact of life like having a talent for art or writing, or being blessed with a cast-iron digestive system that allows you to eat whatever you want with no ill effect.

The fact is that direct contact, intervention and/or being claimed by the gods and spirits happens to people regardless of who else does or does not believe in its existence. No matter what you decide to do, if you are someone who has experienced the realm of the spirits to the point where there is no doubt in your mind that These Things Exist, that is unlikely to just go away. The likelihood is that you will still be expected to do your duty by the Holy Ones and fulfill whatever tasks They may set before you. Sometimes the gods are sympathetic to our plight as people living in a largely agnostic modern Western culture, and sometimes They don't care biddy shit how many broken friendships and cold shoulders from co-workers we have to endure. But chances are, your status as someone who is in touch with the spirit realms is not going to change just because somebody else -- even one very close to you -- disapproves of what you're doing.

Whatever you decide to do, you will need to do one thing: grow a thick hide. Prepare yourself for criticism, disbelief and possibly outright condemnation. Even in a best-case scenario where you tell everyone in your life and they accept and support you, someday you will encounter someone who does not and whose opinion is not easily discounted or ignored. And even if people are willing to accept everything now, that may change depending on how much of your life gets sucked into your spiritual calling and how badly it affects other people. It's good to learn not to either fear disapproval or let your religious life get too wrapped up in winning approval, because then it stops being about your relationship with the Holy Ones and becomes an exercise in either showing off or placating others...and while I don't claim to speak for any gods or spirits, I highly doubt that this is what They have in mind when They bother to intercede in our lives so directly. I have known more than one person who did one or the other (or both) and regretted it later.

Being open to whatever degree about being god-touched is not something that's necessarily easily resolved just by sitting down with and having A Talk, of course. People come and go in our lives, circumstances change, and relationships grow and develop. Sometimes it takes time for other people to accept that we are who we are, particularly when they are worried about our mental and physical health and concerned for our well-being. The best thing you can do to allay the fears of your loved ones is to prove those fears and concerns wrong: Deal with your baggage. Take responsibility for your deeds. Learn from your mistakes. Share your triumphs and let those who care about you see how your relationship with the gods and spirits can be useful and good. I strongly believe that even in the strictest god-slave relationship, the deity in question ultimately has an eye towards the personal well-being of the mortal as well as whatever Their lofty goals are otherwise. Show others how your contact with Them enhances your spirituality. Living as a functional, useful and well-rounded person vastly increases your chances of getting your loved ones to a place where they can accept and even celebrate who and what you are in life.

If they still refuse to accept it or are outright hostile about it, it may come down to cutting off contact. That's sad, difficult and painful, and it too must be carefully considered. For those who might think I'm being too harsh, I'd remind them that it's likely that even if your family disowns you, the gods are unlikely to just go away once Their presence in your life becomes an inconvenience. They have a way of sticking around, I've noticed. But I'm not one to judge anybody for doing whatever they can to stay on good terms with their loved ones in a situation like this. If you'd rather not tell your beloved grandparents about it, ever, and let them think that you're still going to church every Sunday, then make sure your reasons for doing so are clean and that you aren't compromising your relationship with the spirits or avoiding your obligations. Sometimes it's less about what we personally want or need and more about sustaining a modicum of peace and harmony within a family or among friends.

Although I am fairly public in that I use my legal name on all my writing and websites and have published some obscene poetry about my god-husband, I neglected for several years to tell my family about my contact with Loki and Hela and the strange turn my life had taken as a result. My parents especially were concerned because they saw no reason why I was unemployed and apparently at loose ends at the time. I feared that if they knew about what was going on in my life, they would think I was insane and try to convince me that I ought to be committed -- I mean, how often do people tell their families that by the way, ancient Norse deities are talking in their heads and that's why they've made these inexplicable life changes? I dreaded the day when I'd have to tell everyone what was up with me.

I needn't have worried, however. My mom was surprisingly understanding, despite being a fairly conservative Protestant. She even said that she was sorry I hadn't told her about it before because it explained so much about me. My dad was similarly understanding, although I think he was secretly chagrined that he'd bothered to send me to an expensive private university just for me to wind up being a spirit-touched weirdo. Other family members and friends were more or less accepting, so for me it wasn't painful or hard to tell everyone in my world about my strange life and stranger religious calling. For that, I am grateful.

Some time after, I asked my dad why he didn't seem more curious about my religious life and he gave me a wary look. "I'm from a traditional culture and I know better than to ask,'" he said. "If you talk to ghosts, I don't want to know!" I've respected his wishes as well as those of others, and I don't talk about the spooky details of my religious life with my folks or with certain old friends who knew me "before" -- and that's okay. I see it as a need-to-know subject, and while it pains me a bit that I can't share that aspect of my life with some people, our relationships are close enough in other ways that it's not a big issue. And I have plenty of other friends who do know the details and aren't afraid to discuss them.

Like I said earlier, you don't necessarily have to talk about what the gods have done to you, and it may even be better to keep silent than to be loud and proud about your religious doings. Ultimately, those of us who are god-touched aren't as fascinating to other people as we sometimes think we are, and there are some experiences which should remain private anyway, or which simply cannot be put into words. Those of us who've shared them will understand, but it's good to recognize that no amount of talking can convey the essence of the Mysteries to those who have not experienced them for themselves. It's quite enough for most people to accept the "voices in your head" part, after all.

Trance Dancing

2009-05-17T16:54:00.001-04:00

by G. Krasskova

Having spent over a decade as a professional dancer, I learned early on the trance inducing properties of physical movement. For nearly the entirety of my training and career, physical movement (in my case the rigorous discipline of ballet) was my primary means of spiritual expression. While I did not know about methods of trance when I was younger, looking back, I realize that I would often dance myself into a trance state where I was only aware of the energy flowing around and through me. It opened me up and provided a necessary outlet for many, many things including the berserkergang without which, I think my adolescence would have been far worse. I’ve since studied and learned many different methods of inducing trance but nothing is quite like the exhausting euphoria of dancing where the body itself is both conduit and doorway. Of course when I eventually became too injured to dance, I assumed that I would never taste that particular type of trance again. It wasn’t until my Muspellheim ordeal that this facility was returned to me once more.

In many respects, dancing is much like galdr, many of the same principles apply. Certain energies are best accessed through movement. Just as one can use the throat and voice for galdr to lay down threads of power, so can one do the same with movement and dance. Furthermore because in often ecstatic forms of dancing the concentration is on the body and not the ego/mental structure, it is very easy for it to bring about the type of opening needed not only for trance but also to enable possession. Focusing on the rhythm and movement allows our consciousness to shift ever so slightly in a way that facilitates both trance and possessory work. This, I believe, is the reason that dancing is often utilized in Voudoun ceremonies and Zar ceremonies as part of the possessory practice.

While my dancing has largely been prompted by Surt, Logi and to some degree Loki, Odin has indicated to me that there are weapons dances He wishes me to learn that will open me to manifesting His battle wod (but I’ve only gotten hints of the actual dances). I find that when I dance now, it links strongly into either sexual energy or the berskergang energy with very little in between and sometimes both at once. This may be in part because the ability to dance was returned to me via ordeal by Surt.

In this type of dancing, I’ve found that actual music is not necessary (though I personally prefer it as it sends me far deeper into trance far more quickly) because there is rhythm in the energies swirling beneath, around and within the dancer. The problem with using external accompaniment is that the sound then becomes master of the dance rather than the energy the dancer is moving in…the sound supersedes the energy, at least for me. These are palpable things and when I dance, how I’m working the energy, what I’m working with, the reasons I’m seeking movement trance, and a thousand other things vie for dominance over my body. If there is external sound, it has greater dominance for me than the energy itself though it can be a very, very close thing. Often the two work well in tandem together.

Entering into trance or working magic through the tool of a dancing body is to put oneself into a very open state. The energy one is dealing with is internalized far more deeply and intimately than with certain other forms of trance. It is both an internal and an external process simultaneously. This form of trance movement allows the practitioner to focus will and energy through the vehicle of the body and it is possible to weave directly into the threads of wyrd by virtue of the patterned movement.

So my use of trance dancing is three fold:

· to induce trance (obviously),
· to open myself to a specific type of energy be it physical energy or Deity energy
· to work specific magics via the conduit of the body.

I would estimate that of the dancing I do, 95% of it involves trancing to journey or tap into energy. During my Muspelheim ordeal, for example, the dancing loosened my hold on Midgard well enough that Surt was able to easily yank me into Muspelheim, the Gap and several other places as well for training and challenge. While it can be disorienting coming back to purely Midgard head and body space, I do find that the dancing is an excellent vehicle for rapid transitioning between the worlds. It shakes one’s consciousness loose from the temporal very quickly and easily.

The most distressing and difficult part of trance dancing, for me at least, was getting over my own self-consciousness about moving in such a fashion in public. There is a loosing of internal energies that necessarily accompanies such movement and it can be rather intense. I do not particularly like drawing such attention to myself (when I danced professionally it was A) a very different type of dancing and B) done for reasons other than a love of performing. The performing was secondary to the experience of dancing itself) and there has to be a certain level of body comfort as well. One must start out truly ‘in one’s skin’ so to speak, at least it helps.

While it certainly also helps to have a dance background for this type of trance work, I really don’t think that is necessary. What is most important is the ability and willingness to listen to one’s body, open to the external energies and be mindful of external sounds and cues. The body and the energy will direct the flow of the movement. Certainly a ballet background isn’t needed or even particularly helpful. If I had to recommend a style of dance to study, to prepare one for trance dancing, I’d probably suggest belly dancing followed quickly by some form of modern dance or perhaps tai chi. I tend to combine elements of flamenco (which I studied extensively years ago), belly dancing and Javanese/Indonesian martial arts. It’s not a consciously thought out thing, rather it’s just how the movements come out in the context of my body (or so I’ve been told by onlookers). I suspect that’s partly my body type and partly the quality of the energies I’m manifesting. It will vary with each individual person.

Finally, the energies raised in this type of dancing make it an excellent offering for the Gods. Both Loki and Odin like me to dance for Them both publicly and privately and I have known a Frey’s woman who was often moved to make the same offering to Her Owner. Even more than for journey work, I utilize this type of movement as a service to Them, to bring Them joy, satisfaction and perhaps entertainment. Utilizing trance dancing in such a fashion brings more than simple trance, it brings one to the level of ecstasy and intoxication.

“I cannot dance, O Lord,
Unless You lead me.
If You wish me to leap joyfully,
Let me see You dance and sing---

Then I will leap into Love—
And from Love into Knowledge,
And from Knowledge into the Harvest,
That sweetest Fruit beyond human sense.

There I will stay with You, whirling.”

--Mechthild of Magdeburg

Mother's Day Musings

2009-05-10T14:30:00.001-04:00

By G. Krasskova

I am a keeper of the future; my love outruns my anger.
I am a keeper of the future; my patience outruns my pride.
I am a keeper of the future; my hope outruns my despair. (1).

For the first thirty years of my life “mother” was a four letter word. It brought to mind nothing but bitterness, pain, and a terrible anger. This impacted every aspect of my life, even perhaps most especially my spirituality. Oh, I honored Goddesses from the moment I consciously became a polytheist. I have a strong dedication to a specific warrior Goddess. I never, ever, called Them Mother though. In fact, I had an intense distaste for Goddesses Whose primary function was that of the dreaded “mother.” It took the Gods bringing me a second mother, one not related to me by blood but by heart and spirit, for those wounds to heal. It took the Gods sending me a woman who chose to adopt me legally as her daughter, even though I was an adult, because that is the bond the Gods created between us. Through that experience, I came not only to understand what miracles the Gods have wrought, but also what a miracle it is to have a mother. Through that healing, I came to understand far more fully how terribly important mothering can be, and what a profound obligation there is to do it well.

Years ago, I saw a movie (I don’t recall the title) in which a character says “Mother is the name of God on the lips of every single human child.” That line stuck with me through all the intervening years: our first and most enduring name for God is ‘mother.’ That is the power this figure has in our lives, our hearts, our psyches. Like those who cannot approach a God because the father-figure in their lives was cruel, abusive, absent, or inefficient thus damaging that bond, those who have never known effective human mothering may have trouble approaching Goddesses. As above, so below….what is out of balance in our human lives will in time affect us spiritually and vice versa. After all, the Gods are the ultimate parental/authority figures. What can one do when the entire idea of ‘mother’ or even ‘parent’ has been damaged?

Mothering isn’t necessarily a biological thing. Anyone who cares for someone else in any way has the potential to fill this role. Is it the same thing as a biological mother, maybe not; but I do not discount the importance of spiritual mothers (and fathers). We can hold this space for others when need arises and the Gods move us to do so. We can consciously commit to moving with compassion in our world, to heal ourselves through bringing restoration to others. I know well the anger one can have at a mother who is emotionally (or physically) harmful or negligent. That anger is an appropriate response. It tells us something is amiss, that important boundaries are not being respected. We can acknowledge that anger without allowing it to turn us into the very thing that we are angry at. We can use that anger to drive us into the arms of our own restoration.

We are called to service, to minister (which really means ‘one who serves’) in just this way: we can bring nurturing and nourishment to others through a profundity of passionate, mindful engagement. We can mother those who are motherless. There are so many people crying out, hungering, starving in fact to be told that they are worthy, that they have a right to take up space, that they are cherished, loved, worthy of love. These are the lessons a mother teaches…or does not teach. If I have learned nothing else, I have learned that even when our human mothers are too wounded themselves, we can choose a new family. We can choose our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers from those whose only tie to us is that of spirit, and a willing, loving heart.

Sometimes we have to do this and that’s ok. Those self-made families are just as sacred as many families of birth. I believe that most people do the very best they can. Sometimes people are too injured themselves, too broken, too scarred to parent well. Such people, like my own mother, are deserving of prayer and compassion. As a priest, I understand that even when the daughter in me cries out in anger and hurt. These people were not given the mothering they needed when they needed it and never learned to give it to themselves. Sometimes we have to do that too: the holiest task we may have to undertake is learning to mother ourselves wisely, lovingly, and well.

There are Goddesses who can teach this if we ask Them. I learned by asking the Goddess Sigyn for help. At one point in my life Nerthus stepped in and offered Her aid. Ancestral veneration is a very important part of my religion (Heathenry). Those who have hurtful relationships with their parents may struggle with this and yet our ancestors can be our most powerful allies in untangling the knotted, ragged threads of our family wyrd. We may have to go back several generations, to those ancestors whose faces and names do not bring pain, but doing so can be very valuable. When all else fails, each of us is entitled to call upon “the Mothers,” our most ancient, female ancestors, the tribal mothers of our individual lines. They are there, they can hear, they will help. There are secular sources as well: prayer and therapy can work very well hand in hand. The important thing is to know that are things we can do.

This may seem like a rather grim Mother’s Day message but perhaps it is a necessary one. It’s easy to honor the mothers who get it right. It’s not so easy to honor those that don’t; yet I think they too need to be honored. It is more than simply that bad parents show us how not to parent. They show us the tremendous and painful long term impact that poor parenting, poverty, neglect, emotional trauma, abuse can have generation after generation. They show us why loving parenting, healthy parenting is so important. It is what they have to bring to this table, the best they can give, coming as it does from their own devastation. As we honor the good, let us honor the injured who walk among us too. Then let us commit to doing all we can to seeing we never inflict that type of damage on another.

Grant me patience, O my beloved Dead,
To see the long view, and remember that what I do
Affects a million million souls I will never know (2).

Notes:

1. excerpted from R. Kaldera’s “A Parent’s Prayer for Patience” from pages 16-17 of the forthcoming devotional “Be Thou My Hearth and Shield,” edited by Elizabeth Vongvisith, published by Asphodel Press.
2. excerpted from R. Kaldera’s ‘Prayer for the Ancestors” from p. 91 of the forthcoming devotional “Be Thou My Hearth and Shield,” edited by Elizabeth Vongvisith, published by Asphodel Press.

Humility and Service

2009-04-30T16:53:00.004-04:00

by Galina Krasskova

(This article was adapted from a sermon I presented on April 26 at the Interfaith Temple in NYC.)

We’re going to talk about service and humility today. I think these two things fit together beautifully. They complement and enhance each other and contribute to building a strong, resilient, spiritual foundation. In my religious community right now, there is a great deal of tension over how to best honor and serve the Gods. Sadly, this has even led to hostility and in-fighting over what constitutes the “proper” way to go about this. I’ve seen slander, name-calling, and even threats of violence all over something that should be bringing people together: honoring the Gods. This is neither new, nor unique to my religious community. It has probably been going on for as long as people have been engaging in devotional practice. Needless to say, this has been on my mind a lot in the past several weeks. And while part of me thinks that my community simply needs time to mature, I can’t deny that the ongoing discourse has been productive. It has brought up several issues that I think are worthy of being addressed. One of those, perhaps the most important one, is service.

We need to reclaim the idea of joyful service. I have come to believe that the whole idea of service has become tainted in our society. We no longer respect it. Think about how we treat service personnel in our mundane lives from the girl behind the drug store counter, to the waitress or waiter at lunch, to the maid who cleans your room. These people are anonymous, poorly paid, and often poorly treated. Would you want your son or daughter to grow up to work in a ‘service industry'? Probably not, and I’d ask that you think about the reason for that.

Spiritual service can be a very beautiful thing, a sacred thing, a holy thing. It provides an opportunity to open ourselves as deeply as possible (an ongoing process if ever there was one) to the Gods that we love and adore.

I believe that most people want to be good people. They want to live their lives as happily as possible, honor their Gods, and try to do the right thing. That may sound simple, but it can be really, really difficult sometimes to ferret out what that right course of action can be. We are creatures honed by our experiences. We see the world through the filter of where we’ve been, what we’ve done, and what has been done to us. It can be very easy to get caught up in our own way of doing things, to believe that we’ve found the one right way to reach out to our Gods. From here, it’s just one small step away from condemning those who do so differently than we do.

My maternal grandmother was a mystic. She had visions of Christ all throughout her life, beginning when she was quite young. My aunt told me recently that growing up, her mom would tell her about these mystical experiences, in an attempt to encourage her daughter in the knowledge that their God was present in their lives and that He loved them. My aunt interpreted that to mean that God did not love her; that she had done something wrong, and was bad. I asked her why? Had my grandmother said something which indicated that? Her answer broke my heart. No, my aunt told me. She was led to that conclusion by the fact that she herself was not having visionary experiences. My aunt is a very analytical person. Her devotion is expressed through reading and study, and doing actual works like delivering communion to the sick. It was a long time before she could celebrate this method of devotion. Instead she wasted a great deal of hurt over what she did not have, neglecting what she did. Even now, I find that heart-breaking.

There is a wonderful quote by the Sufi mystic poet Rumi – and I quote it ad nauseum-- that goes ‘Let the beauty we love, be what we do: there are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” Think about what a profound statement that is: there are hundreds of ways to engage in devoted spiritual practices. There are hundreds of ways to love the Gods. And you know what? Not a single one is better than another. Not a single one invalidates another. It can be really hard when someone’s practices are completely different from one’s own. I think the Gods know best though. They know how we’re wired. They know what our gifts are. They know what would fulfill us and how we can best be utilized in service. At some point, we need to trust that, to trust Them to guide the process.

We are all individuals. We’re not meant to be clones of each other in our practices. If you believe that the Gods made us, surely then it follows that They cherish that diversity. It follows also then, that They cherish the rich diversity of practice and devotional means that flow from our individuality. We need to honor that, to embrace it, and yes, even celebrate it. No two people are meant to serve the Gods alike. I do so as a priest and shaman. But another may do so as a poet. Another by cleaning her ill friend’s house. Another by creating and tending a garden, another by raising children with love and respect, yet another by bringing a sense of integrity to her work in the corporate world. There are no limits save those set by the Gods themselves, which we may find through personal gnosis, the study of lore, or the contemplation of our own hearts. That one person may live their lives by being…a farmer, a doctor, or housewife while another may be a shaman is no indicator of worth. All these things are equally valued by the Gods. Yet all are radically different. I think it can often be difficult to come to terms with radical differences of perspective and of practice. How can things so dramatically different all be right? That, my friends, is the glorious paradox of spiritual life. It’s rather like global politics! There can be such beautiful strength precisely in our differences. We’re not meant to be the religious equivalent of Stepford wives. We’re meant to be passionately engaged with our Gods in whatever role They have gifted us with. Jealousy, fear, hostility…these things only serve to keep us from truly honoring both our own gifts, and the gifts the Gods have given us. They keep us from seeing how we ourselves are blessed. One of the keys, I think, to preventing these unproductive emotions from negatively impacting us is to seek humility in all we do.

There are certain words that seem to have taken on a negative caste in our modern culture: humility is one of them. Too often I’ve heard the idea of humility being dismissed as self abasement. There is this idea that we should all ‘follow our bliss’ wherever it may lead. When the goal is to develop our potential as human beings, to develop our spiritual awareness, to find the method of service that suits us best then this is indeed a good thing. Service, is really only living life in a way that engages passionately with the Gods and allows Them to do the same with us: all through the lens of our every day lives. But unexamined, unbalanced by other virtues like personal discipline, commitment, and yes, humility, all too often this idea of ‘following one’s bliss’ leads to an egotism and false pride that can prove a stunning barrier to spiritual life. Here we find the idea that if it’s hard, if it hurts it can’t be good. Well, all healthy relationships challenge us. Our relationship with our Gods and with ourselves is no different. There will be challenges, and they will be different for each of us. Here we also find the idea that 'anything goes' and sometimes that may be true, but other times it can lead to a remarkable lack of focus, commitment and respect. It is often a difficult and delicate balance to try to maintain: I believe the Gods want people who know and value their own worth for, as my fellow priest Elizabeth Vongvisith points out: if we have no worth of our own, our devotions, offerings and prayers are likewise worthless. Discovering and developing a sense of our own beauty, as Rumi might call it, is an ongoing endeavor, part of service, part of learning how to love the Gods and moreover to be loved in return.

The Gods do love us, more than we can ever imagine. They see us, know us, and love us so very deeply. Recognizing that and allowing us to fall in love with Them in return is what spiritual life is all about. They love us and want us to be whole and happy. The Gods and Goddesses of various traditions are not terrible, wrathful beings. Oh, Deities can be angry, but no one emotion defines how They manifest. We are children of the Gods. If we are made in the image of God, as many traditions assert, then our Gods are many-faceted, complex, ever-changing, passionate Beings indeed! In my tradition, Heathenry, not only were humans crafted by the Gods, but then the Gods came and walked among us intermarrying. Christians and Jews have a beautiful creation story wherein the hand of God carefully crafts humanity from clay and soil. Think of the care of a master craftsman, gently drawing form and life from a lump of raw material. Think of the care and love, and dedication that is needed to result in a masterpiece. We are our Gods’ masterpieces…in all our flawed and complicated glory. The ancient Egyptians as well as their modern Kemetic religionists have a God Khnum, who created our bodies on a Divine potters wheel, investing each with a beauty and individuality that is the delight of the Gods. Sometimes accepting this, how deeply we’re each cherished, can take tremendous humility.

Humility, like piety, is all about mindfulness. It’s all about knowing your own worth, and celebrating that without the need to judge or tear down others. “True humility is the ability to keep things in perspective. It means being aware that no matter how exalted you are, your feet are still made of clay.”* As French Essayist Michel de Montaigne said “Even on the highest throne in the world, we are still sitting on our ass.” True humility means accepting that we don’t know everything about any other person’s spiritual struggles. We can only know intimately about our own. It means taking full accountability for ourselves and the harm we cause with our words, with our deeds, with the way that we choose to be in the world. It means accepting that we will fail, that spirituality is a learning process. And it means not taking ourselves too seriously. Humility is the gift that can keep us from feeling jealous or threatened at another’s spiritual blessings. Humility is the key that can lead us to gratitude for the gifts that we ourselves have been given; and I think it’s important to develop some sort of gratitude practice. What are you grateful for? What blessings move you to tears? It can be as simple as our ability to draw breath but it’s important to sincerely give thanks. This is how we grow in joy: through the practice of humble mindfulness.

How do we encourage this virtue of humility in our hearts? Well, for starters, we all, myself included, need to worry less about how our neighbors are honoring their Gods and instead look to the development of our own hearts. What is right for us? What do our Gods want for us? Let’s not make a show of devotion for the sake of impressing other people with our holiness. It can be hard, when we’re feeling insecure, or when we want so deeply to be loved and accepted and acknowledged. We all want to be recognized for who we are and the good things we do. We all want to be special. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think we have to realize though that to our Gods, we are all of those things. There’s no need to demonstrate it egregiously. Let humility guard us against jealousy. Let us not look at someone else’s way of honoring, loving, and serving their Gods but pay attention to our own. We each have our gifts and our specialties. One person may be a priest and one person a parent but we’re all called to service and it is all valued. It’s about living the life we are meant to live with engagement, mindfulness, and heart-filled devotion. We’re not less valuable to our Gods because we do one thing or another. You are not less valuable than I am because I’m up here preaching and you are not. We’re valuable. We’re loved. There’s no need to get into a pissing contest over who is more holy.

I fight with this sometimes, especially when my work is challenged within my own religious community. It’s hard not to become defensive, not to feel that I have to validate what I do. I have to remind myself that it’s not a question of other people being more intrinsically worthy than I am. It’s about what the gods want and what other people need, which may include things that my friends cannot provide for themselves, but which I can.* Or may include things my friends can provide for me that I could not on my own. And I have to remember that the rewards I get from the service I give and the shape of my own devotion are just as satisfying to me as the rewards my friends get from their devotion and service are to them. Humility, for me, is about valuing myself and my work for what it is rather than what it is not.*

Recognizing that can lead to real joy, in one’s love and devotion to the Gods and spirits, and in sharing that joy with others. I don’t mean trying to get others to worship as you do, but in allowing the joy of devotion to guide your every interaction. We carry our gods in our skin, in our blood, in our breath: in every word, every deed, every single interaction. We have the potential to allow that indwelling connection to the Divine to guide every encounter. It takes practice. But that’s what devotion is all about: living mindfully with humility, with joy.

I’ll close by saying that I don’t necessarily believe humility’s antithesis is pride or even arrogance. I believe it to be entitlement or maybe complacency. Let us pray, every day to be delivered from these two things: complacency and entitlement.

(Many thanks to Elizabeth Vongvisith for her article on Humility, which can be found at http://twilightandfire.wordpress.com/. I have stolen shamelessly from it everywhere there is an asterisk. It goes without saying that I did so with her full knowledge and permission).

What The Norns Told Me

2009-04-28T03:57:00.000-04:00

by Raven Kaldera

All spirit-workers are different, and we all have differing deals with the Gods and spirits that we work with. Some are god-slaves; some are contract workers or voluntary servants; some are indulged children or beloved spouses. Some are more than one of these things. What is expected of us will vary from divine/human relationship to relationship. Our jobs will be different, as will our rate of forced progress and our “wiggle room”, as it were. While there are some basic things that we will have in common with regard to our experiences, there is such a wide range of details that it makes little sense for us to compare ourselves with each other.

But there are a few basic truths, and sometimes we stumble over them. I asked my Owner, Hela, about the issue of our widely varying diversity, and how it seems that the Gods have such different expectations for people. Sometimes the same deity may have two people and give them entirely different sorts of attention. To a certain extent, of course, this can be put down to the fact that deities sometimes have different “faces” or “hats” or “aspects” or whatever you want to call them, and show different ones to different people. This can go even for casual contact – when I call up Aphrodite I get Aphrodite Urania, while my partner gets Aphrodite Porne. I get Loki the Magician; another friend gets the Breaker of Worlds, etc.

One of the cosmic “rules” that I’ve learned in the past is that when you call on a deity (who is not your owner) by a specific title/name/aspect, that’s the God/dess you get. Gods have rules too, not just ones that they agree to hold to, but ones that govern their nature and existence. If I call upon Odin as Grimnir, I’m not getting Jalkr. If I call Artemis as the Huntress, She Who Slays, I am not getting Artemis the midwife. This has been proven to be true again and again. While we do not control the Gods (there’s no rule that says they have to show up at all, for example), we can call upon those rules by which they exist, if we know what they are.

So I asked Hela specifically about the issue of human/divine relationships along the spectrum of patronage-to-ownership, and she waved her bony finger and pointed me in the direction of a Norn. For those not Norse-oriented, that’s one of the Fates, the Wyrd Sisters, the Ladies who weave the Web and thus have access to concepts deeper and broader than we meat-brained humans can sometimes comprehend. The Norn (I’m not sure which one it was) told me this about the nature of Deity.

First, She reminded me about the latter rule – the aspect that you call on is the aspect you get – and then elaborated how that worked in a more personal situation. Aspects were not only a list of qualities and jobs, like a horizontal foldout (and here her hands spread sideways, showing a set of images in a row). They were also vertical, if such a concept could be symbolized by two-dimensional space. There were aspects of Deity that were very humanlike (depending on the God/dess in question). They argued, they fought, they made mistakes, they were sometimes short-sighted and did not access the full truth of their divine abilities. (Although when they erred, they did that also on a grand scale.) They also loved, with personal fervor as opposed to impersonal distance; loved each other and sometimes mortals as well. This is not the sort of “love” we think of as in “God loves me”; it’s deeply personal and passionate interest in someone, not transpersonal “yes, I love your divine spark gently from afar”.

Then She told me that the nature of the interaction you get with a God/dess who chooses you is determined by whether you decide to serve/work with/love the aspect of them that is “more human” on that vertical axis, or “less human”. And, yes, the key word was Decide. There are a few things that God/desses cannot demand or force from even those spirit-workers who are thralls (and no, not all spirit-workers are god-slaves by any means). For example, accepting a proposal of marriage from a deity must be entirely voluntary on the part of the mortal. No one can be forced into being a god-spouse, even if they are enslaved in all other ways.

This also applies to the “vertical” aspect of deity that one ends up working with. “You chose,” She told me. “When?” I asked. I didn’t recall choosing any such thing. The image that came to me then – Norns like to communicate in images, unfortunately often confusing ones – was of a deity approaching a mortal that they were drawn to, and offering an image to the mortal’s unconscious. (Not the conscious mind, because that was not where the deep truth was found. The unconscious does not lie.) It could be like this, or it could be like this, said the divine Voice, and the mortal responded instinctively. Yes, this is what I want. And so it was. It was offered to you, and you chose, long ago, said the Norn.

She also showed me that there is a price for every choice. To serve a more human aspect is to bask in the ecstasy of direct emotional attention from a God. All god-spouses, by definition, chose this aspect, because it is this aspect that can love a mortal. It is also this aspect that can make mistakes with them, can overestimate or underestimate them, can lie to them (if it’s in that God/dess’s inherent nature to do so), and can be less than perfectly ethical with them. This aspect loves them passionately, and gives them personal attention, lays their own prejudices and pettinesses on them, and can be blinded to their long-term Wyrd (although even a deity in a personal relationship with you knows better what you should be doing than any mortal, including yourself; they are still Gods). To choose this is to choose the ecstasy and terror of yielding to the “imperfect” aspect of a deity. It is to love them and be loved by them in a way that those who don’t have such a relationship cannot even imagine. It is also to trust them even when you know that they are not acting from their highest selves … an act of radical spiritual trust.

On the other end of the continuum, there is the less human aspect of that deity. This is the part of them that is still “them”, still undifferentiated, but closest to being part of the less differentiated, “higher” aspect that becomes impersonal. It’s as if the Deity is acting from their highest self in this aspect, and the higher you go, the less “human” they are, and the less personal passion is given to you. As an example, the God/dess that I serve – Hela, the Norse death god/dess – could be described as having Her more human side as the daughter of Loki and Angrboda, the sister of Fenris and Jormundgand, the lady who has a history, and whose history has marked her with certain loves, hatreds, and prejudices. Her less human side would be the part of Her that is as impersonal as She can get while still being Hela and not Undifferentiated Death Goddess. That part is filtered by her role/nature as Death Goddess, but little else. It works from a place of much purer objectivity, and does not make the kind of mistakes that a more human aspect might, nor have their prejudices. Similarly, Aphrodite’s human aspect becomes jealous and offended and strikes down mortals for petty reasons; Aphrodite’s higher self dispenses love from a clean, ideal place. Zeus’s human aspect steps on his wife’s trust out of uncontrolled desire; Zeus’s less human aspect works from a place of perfectly honorable leadership.

The love that comes down from such an aspect is impersonal, transpersonal, seeing your “specialness” only in terms of how you can be made to evolve and be a useful part of a long-term Wyrd. This aspect doesn’t marry mortals. It also doesn’t make errors with them, or act towards them in a way that is ethically questionable. When dealing with a God’s highest self, you sacrifice personal love for perfect justice, as it were … and that will be expected of you as well. A deity with whom you have a personal, human-like relationship will put up with a lot more error from you. They will let you dick around and blow off your spiritual path for a much longer time, possibly your whole life … so long as you love them passionately, in the way that the Hindus refer to as “bhakti”. You are expected to be tolerant of their faults, and trust them anyway … and they will extend that tolerance to you. They will love you passionately no matter how much you continue to screw up, so long as you love them back with equal fervor. You can be petty, and they don’t care, because you are giving them the freedom to do the same. While they will endeavor to push you to evolve, it’s not the first priority of the relationship.

When serving the less human aspect of a deity, you can be sure that they will be seeing further and higher, and always doing what will be in the best interest of your own higher self (even when that hurts). You can trust in their unerring judgment with regard to your path. On the other hand, you will also be expected to behave from your own higher self, to be pushed hard and mercilessly, and for there to be swift. immediate, and unpleasant consequences when you act in unworthy ways. It’s the faster and more spiritually ascetic track, not the track of connection. You hold Them to Their highest standards (and, yes, this is something that the Norn made it clear that we are all allowed to do, even god-thralls) and in turn They hold you to the highest standards possible given your mortal nature. They will not lie or make mistakes with you, and neither will they love you or tell you that you’re special.

It’s something for people who are dissatisfied with the nature of the relationship with their God to think about. You have the power and right to change it, to move it up or down that axis … if you’re willing to pay the price.

Of course, I did ask if some spirit-workers deal with different aspects at different times. Yes, the Norn agreed – sometimes a divine Spouse can suddenly turn around and be an impersonal Boss for a week or month if it’s needed – but there is generally one aspect/relationship that was chosen first and which both parties revert to … because it’s generally the one that the mortal in question desires and needs the most. Usually there will be some discomfort when there is a temporary shift, and usually it’s only done because there is an overriding need having to do with the mortal’s well-being. (“If I don’t get Joe off drugs, he won’t be around to have this connection with me any more.”)

Then the Norn folded her cards and vanished, leaving me to walk through my spirit-worker friends in my mind, seeing their relationships with their patron deities with new eyes. I understood why I’d made the choice that I had made, even if I didn’t remember making it … and I understood that it was the right choice. I could even see the part of myself that I’d made that choice from, and it heartened me. In a way, it gave me comfort: there was something that had been within my power to choose, and I did it. I set the foundation for my relationship with my Goddess.

We all do. Isn’t that an amazing thing for a god-slave to say? And yet … I believe it’s true.

Drawing Down the Spirits - A Book Review

2009-04-25T15:20:00.001-04:00

By G. Krasskova

A new book has just been released that I believe will prove to be of great importance to spiritworkers and shamans. It’s called “Drawing Down the Spirits: The Traditions and Techniques of Spirit Possession” and it explores techniques of spirit and Divine possession across the Neo-Pagan, Heathen, and Afro-Caribbean spectrum. The authors, Kenaz Filan and Raven Kaldera, both have extensive experience dealing with Deity possession and they have collected a wealth of information, drawing on other experienced practitioners both within their respective communities and from other branches of modern Paganisms as well.

This book offers an extensive examination of the role of possessory work within modern Paganisms, beginning with a history of possession across the world and throughout history. Particular attention is paid to the 20th century and the rise of spiritualism, Edgar Cayce, and theosophy. While not the focus of the book, it does provide interesting historical and social context, particularly relevant since these latter movements formed the soil from which many modern Paganisms sprang. The real meat of the work begins in part II. The authors, in conjunction with the many shamans and spiritworkers interviewed, all of whom are ‘horses,’ (people wired to allow Deity possession) explore the dynamic of possession from the inside out. Many of the columnists of “Godsmouths” are quoted throughout the book, including our esteemed editor.

The reader is introduced to the way possession works: what exactly happens to the ‘horse’ when the God or Goddess comes in? What are the levels of possession? What are the possible negative side effects on the body of the practitioner and on the community of these practices? What are the benefits? What is the appropriate protocol to follow when a Deity is present? What are the obligations of community, horse, and handlers? All of these questions and more are explored extensively. The authors talk about how this is happening, what people can expect, and how to integrate these powerful practices into the community as a whole. Concrete information is interspersed with personal accounts throughout the book creating a powerful, diverse, richly faceted narrative.

In my opinion, this is one of the most important books to come out in the last few years with the Pagan and Heathen communities. Deity possession is happening and it is extraordinarily controversial across denominational divides. While there have been numerous academic texts concerning possession (ranging from tepid to infuriating), to date, this is the first book written by practitioners for both practitioners and the communities in which they work. It’s beautifully written and very accessible. If you’ll pardon the terrible pun, which I just can’t seem to resist right now, you actually get to read about how it’s done, why it’s done, and what it’s like….straight from the ‘horses’ mouths.” (Yes, I know.)

While I don’t agree with everything written (I don’t, for instance, see what the issue is with cross gender possessions. It happens. It’s not that rare though the authors spend what to me seems an inordinate amount of time examining the dynamics of cross gender possession), for the most part, I think this is an invaluable book for anyone actively involved in Paganisms or Heathenry. Even if you do not horse, have no desire to horse, have never seen a possession, and don’t want to see one, “Drawing Down the Spirits” (originally titled “Wild Horses” but changed by the publisher, unfortunately to something more ‘academic’) is still a fascinating examination of a growing devotional phenomenon within a broad, diverse, and complex spectrum of polytheistic religions. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

The book is currently available from amazon.com as well as major retailers:

Drawing Down the Spirits
By Kenaz Filan and Raven Kaldera
Published by Destiny Books
ISBN: 978-159477269-6

(cross-posted to Blood for the Divine).

What I Do (the spirit work at least)

2009-04-21T23:46:00.001-04:00

I want to begin by apologizing for my recent absence. I have again been quite sick, and since I do most of my writing via voice dictation, bronchitis makes getting this sort of work done nearly impossible.

Fire and I successfully completed the magical working I wrote about in my last post "The End of the Beginning" and already there are significant changes. Adulthood so to speak, brings with it new rights and new requirements. The Lady has declared that our Clan is now legitimate, rather than as she put it "a clan of children." With all this in mind, I feel that it is important to talk a little bit about who we are, what we do, and what we believe.

The first and most important thing that I want to just lay out on the table is this: despite some misconceptions to the contrary, I am not a Northern Tradition shaman, nor are we a Northern Tradition group. It is true that I have horsed or worked with several northern tradition gods, I have many northern tradition friends and colleagues, and my shamanic death was overseen by the Norse lady of Death. However, I have also horsed and worked with many non-northern tradition gods. Our patron and spiritual owner is not of the northern tradition. The system of divination I use is not to be found in northern tradition. Even the kind of shamanism I do is quite different from what I see some of my northern tradition colleagues doing.

So who are we then? I am a shaman-magician of the White Lady of productive destruction and destructive creation. Although to be fair, it is much more accurate to say a Lady of productive destruction rather than the Lady. And no, we don't know who she is. We just call her the Lady, though she has said that we should use The White Lady only when referring to her publicly, and I suspect that it is in some way inaccurate; 10 years on, and She still refuses to tell us her name.

As you might imagine, this has been problematic for quite a long time. Being a spirit worker without a pantheon, without even the name of your patron to tell clients and colleagues, can be very challenging. My magic and my shamanism is spirit taught and god taught. People whose spiritual practice is heavily based in lore and tradition often find this sort of thing very hard to stomach. UPG remains controversial in the spirit work world, and to be honest there are good reasons. But to people for whom UPG is anathema, a shaman or god slave who doesn't know their patrons name, and who's teachings and traditions did not come out of a book can have no place in the community.

Why then do we do things this way? Her Ladyship insists that she has a way she wants us to serve her, and that knowing who she is and how she's worshipped elsewhere would interfere with our ability to do so. But there is another more important reason that we are only now starting to understand. Not having a pantheon can be a real asset as well as a hindrance. I have only one allegiance and that is to Her, and by extension our Clan. I try to approach the work without bias, although I recognize that it's not truly possible. There is no conflict for instance in working with both Odin and Loki; nothing unusual about working with Frey one day, Artemis the next, and Kali or Quetzalcoatl the day after that. It is the very nature of my spiritual work to be eclectic and unfettered; this carries with it a host of unique difficulties. For many people, the very fact that we work with such a range of deities from such a range of pantheons, is in itself disrespectful and even inappropriate.

Despite not having a pantheon, it would be unfair to say that we don't have our own traditions and rules. Some of these rules and customs come from the Lady herself, while others have come about as we have developed as spiritual people or as a Clan. These traditions and ways of practicing inform who we are and who we serve as spirit workers. For instance, much of my own death and growth as a shaman followed the ordeal path, so the people who seek me out for shaman work are often those who need or respond well to that kind of work. The kind of deity that I serve informs my work as well. While I would never presume to attach a value judgment to the process of productive destruction, the fact that that is my lady's purview inevitably has an influence on that not only the work that I do, but also the deities that I work with, and the types of clients that seek me out.

Despite my growing appreciation for the lady's decision not to allow us a pantheon or what would conventionally be considered lore, there obviously remain times when I could wish that things were different. A strong grounding in lore can be the most freeing thing in the world. Having the security of hundreds, if not thousands of years of culture and tradition to point to, to legitimize one's practice is a wonderful thing. Working with UPG or eclectically can be rich and varied and fascinating, but it is also lonely. Because of the kind of work that we do, many of our colleagues and friends who have traditions and pantheons are often at odds with the mainstream of their own cultures. But they have those cultures, they may be black sheep, but they're still part of the flock.

As those of us in Tashrisketlin, our Clan, come into our spiritual adulthood the Lady is requiring that we stand up and say what it is that we believe and what it is that we do even though it is unusual and even unpopular. It might be easier for me in our community to say that I am a northern tradition shaman; I have enough background and experience to pass as one. But it is not who I am, and now more than ever, She requires me to be faithful to her, my Clan, and myself.

Terms of Service

2009-04-20T12:44:00.003-04:00

A little polemic about being a God-slave
by G. Krasskova

I am a godatheow, a godslave. Most of the spiritworkers and shamans that I know are also godslaves - outright owned by their Deities. It goes with the territory. Lately, I’ve been asked over and over what I mean when I say I am god-owned. To me and others in my position, that term is quite clear: I belong, like property to a Deity, in my case Odin. I have committed myself to this and I am content with this status quo. Yet at the same time, it is technically non-consensual, and if I ever decided I wanted to leave this relationship, I would not be permitted to do so. Within the bounds of this relationship I have a significant freedom, but I am not free in the way one unbound might be. My place is to serve. With my warrior/military mindset, this is fine. It’s not a problem for me overmuch and for that, I am grateful. I am also deeply in love with Odin and He has poured thousands of blessings into my hands, more than I can ever count. I can hardly complain. Of course, it has its challenges, it has its agonizing moments, and it certainly has its sacrifices but it also brings with it immense blessings. That being said, this sacrifice of personal agency inherent in being god-owned, the very non-consensuality of the process is extremely controversial, even amongst spiritworkers. It is an uncomfortable reality, most especially for Pagans and Heathens. More and more I’ve been hearing a number of disgruntled people complaining and arguing about the validity of such service, usually because of the mistaken belief that it casts their Deity of choice in an unfriendly, unpleasant light.

“Slave” is a loaded term and certainly I can understand why the use of such a word sets off alarms. For me, and for those like me however, in the poverty of our language, we have no other term that accurately defines the passionate service that we give to our God or Goddess. Ownership by any other term is still ownership afterall. I suppose that it is much easier for those coming out of a kink or BDSM community to find a measure of peace with the term, given that the protocols and parameters of service are given a measure of respect in that space. That is part of the problem, you know, with the term ‘god slave:” we don’t respect service. (Think about it. Think about how we treat service personnel in our mundane lives from the girl behind the drug store counter, to the waitress or waiter at lunch, to the maid who cleans your room. These people are anonymous, poorly paid, and often poorly treated. Would you want your son or daughter to grow up to work in a ‘service industry’? Probably not and I’d ask that you think about the reasons for that). Service can be a very beautiful thing, a sacred thing, a holy thing. It provides an opportunity to open ourselves as deeply as possible (an ongoing process if ever there was one) to the Gods that we love and adore. Yes, it is about the willing sacrifice of personal agency, but there is much joy found in that sacrifice.

Before going any farther, I’d like to take a moment to point out that there are a lot of ways that we can serve the Gods. Not everyone is going to become a god-slave. Not every one should become a godslave. One does not need to be a godslave to serve -- I want to make that abundantly clear – no more than one needs to be a priest, or healer, or ordeal worker to serve and be of use to their Gods. It is however the most common paradigm, and the most controversial one, and it begs exploration if only for the sake of those who find themselves being claimed and who have no clue how to cope with it. That should not be taken in any way to devalue other types of service. To say that every spirit worker must be a slave to their Gods is like saying every devotee must be a spirit worker. Such a thing simply isn’t true. What I have said in the past, and will say again here is that I believe the God or Goddess in question should define the terms of the relationship. It is up to the Deity to decide the nature of the relationship with Their chosen and what an individual Deity needs may vary greatly from one person to another. I would urge would-be spiritworkers to guard against assumptions and preconceptions. The Gods will show you and guide on into what They need you to know. Often what is forbidden to one of us will be required of another…even when the two in question are owned by the same Deity. One might say that there are absolutely no absolutes in this work.

That may be the hardest thing about Pagan Reconstruction to understand. We’ve been patterned by 2000 years of Christianity to have one view of God, who is unchanging forever and ever amen. The idea that our God could ask such radically different things from us is a little alien to our world-view (though ironically not alien to early Christianity). We’re learning as our faiths grow and learning can be difficult thing. This is, I believe, a very important point. I belong to Odin. Odin may have taken me as a godatheow. That doesn’t mean that He wants every single person who serves Him to be a god-slave. We really need to stop trying to fit everyone into the same bloody little box in this work. The Gods will let us know how They want us to serve. There is a wonderful quote by Rumi, that I am endlessly quoting: “Let the Beauty we love, be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” Godslavery is one of them.

One of the biggest issues that people seem to have with godslavery, over and above the apparent lack of agency, is that to many, it implies the Gods are cruel, capricious, even sociopathic. My own experience of Odin, even at the harshest point of ordeal has been anything but. Yes, He can be merciless. All the Gods can be (read the lore, if you doubt that). But He can also be passionately loving, and He is, most especially when He is asking His people to do that which is most painful. I would caution against casting human mores onto the Gods: They are rarely if ever cruel for cruelty’s sake. What we interpret as harshness may be anything but; it may be the deepest expression of loving kindness on the part of the Deity in question: I know my ordeals were; and I know other godatheow who would say the same.

In a forthcoming article about Ordeal work, I talk about the dynamic of submission, particularly the use of pain as a tool in this process. The ongoing argument against godatheow tends to be twinned with a great hostility toward ordeal work (even though not every godslave is an ordeal worker). In both cases, it is the loss of personal agency involved that creates the conflict. The submission to pain as an act of personal empowerment raises many questions not only about the nature of pain but also about the nature of personal agency. A clear distinction must be drawn between “pain as a cause of action,” and “pain as a kind of action.”(1) It is this latter manifestation of pain encompassed by Odin’s story. Here, pain is used not as an externally repressive measure, but as an expression of personal sovereignty.(2) Anthropologist Talal Asad notes that ‘when we say that someone is suffering, we commonly suppose that he or she is not an agent. To suffer…is, so we usually think, to be in a passive state – to be an object, not a subject.”(3) In Odin, however, the reader is presented with the image of a suffering body engaged in an act of power, or, as modern ordeal workers might phrase it: ‘hunting for power.”(4) In such a context, pain loses its emotional charge and becomes a consciously applied tool in a greater process of development. Pain becomes something more than a private experience, or an experience of utter loss of control. It becomes an act of power, one that sets the defining tone for an entire religious tradition. Of course, to those outside of this dynamic, accepting the fact that either godslavery or ordeal can be a holy act means completely re-examining everything we think we know about the Gods.

The Gods are real. They are not manifestations of one’s unconscious. They are not archetypes. They are not imaginary beings. They are real. They have personalities, likes, dislikes, will. Oh boy do They have will! What’s more, They aren’t always nice. Not only can They act in ways that might be interpreted as non-consensual, They often do. Many people, even (perhaps most especially godslaves) struggle terribly with this potential for non-consensuality. This may not be the way it works for everyone, but there are Deities (like Odin) who won’t hesitate a moment to force Their will on those who are lawful prey to Them. Can one back out? Sure. But the price is often much greater and much worse than one is willing to pay. It’s not a matter of “safe, sane, consensual,” or of “risk aware consensual kink,” though I have found that BDSM terminology can be very helpful from a psychological standpoint in coming to comprehend the type of relationship one might find oneself in with one’s Gods. The psychology of ownership can be .. .a surprise, at least at first.

At the same time, I think that the question of consensuality is a rather grey area, a keenly balanced knife’s edge upon which the spiritworker walks: I say I’m a godslave because I’m owned and to Him and Him alone do I place myself in thrall, but Odin gave me a chance to run away from it years ago. I chose not to take it. I cannot say He wasn’t fair: He did give me one chance. So how much of the bondage is my own personal agency and consent, and His will? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that so long as I’m not stupid enough to render myself useless to Him, that bond is now irreversible (on my end at least).

Happily, there is slowly starting to be more discussion about the various manifestations of the Deity/servant relationship. Silence Maestas put out a book called ‘Walking the Heartroad” by Asphodel Press that discusses at least half a dozen, if not more variations in the ways that Gods can interact with their servants. It may be that for some of us the godatheow pattern is the most common, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only one. Even within my own relationship with Odin, it’s not *just* that, we relate on a plethora of levels (though at the bottom, deepest level, it is Master/slave). For me, this is incredibly fulfilling. I am closer to Him than I ever thought possible precisely because I was able to accept being bound as His godatheow. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m well aware, however that for someone else, being bound in such a fashion might actually hinder and harm them in their spiritual Work. This is why I say: leave it in the hands of the Gods. They know us better than we know ourselves.

I think that prevailing idea that A) the Gods are all sweet and nice and B) that They’d never force us to do anything are two of the most damaging ideas within Paganism. They’re also ideas that I think our ancient forebears would find laughable and quite possibly dangerous and unlucky. There is nothing safe about this work. Nor is there anything safe about the sacred. I think our ancestors understood that far, far better than people do now. But we’re learning, slowly but surely, we’re learning.

Footnotes:

1. Talal, Asad, (2003). Formations of the Secular. California: Stanford University Press, p. 69.
2. Asad, p. 71.
3. Asad, p. 79.
4. Krasskova, currently unpublished article “Ordeal Work, Body Modification, and the Use of Pain in Modern Norse Paganism.” First presented October 4, 2008 at a religious studies conference at Ohio State University.

Two poems for Hela

2009-04-15T20:57:00.002-04:00

These were written for the Norse goddess of the dead by one of Her servants. They are posted here because some of the themes will probably be familiar to readers of this blog.

Faces

When I was young, no face.
She spoke to me from a shroud,
A cloud of darkness, cloaked and close
And I knew She was Death, and thought
She was old, old, old.

Once She came wearing a face
Like a costume, for a masquerade,
Black gown glittering with stars, fair face
With midnight hair – I recognized
A queen from my book of faery tales,
And even then knew She was hiding
Herself from me. The occasion?
We went to Faery, She and I.
I was admonished not to let go her hand
As she showed me off to silver folk
Who looked upon us both with thinly veiled
Disgust. I was a child, I knew nothing,
Save that I was privy to things far beyond
Comprehension. So I did not look at Her.

When I died, many years later, She came to me
And I saw Her, divided like Ardhanarisvara
But living and dead, not male and female –
No, that instead was me. Skin wearing off
Across the bridge of the nose, down to skull
And skeletal hand that left its mark
Upon my memory. I know you now,
I cried upon awakening. I am done with playing
Rumpelstiltskin. You are Mother Rot,
Lady Death, goddess of my ancestors,
And I have died at your hands.

Once She came to me wearing a face
Like a costume, for yet another purpose,
A slim white girl, snow-pale of hair and skin
Dressed in white furs open to pale breasts.
Her face was delicate, yet I could smell the rot.
I ran, then, rejected the one thing
That needed my consent, my open arms,
Because I feared, because I hated,
Because I could.

I walked the long road to Her kingdom,
Nine days worth. World after world
And ending by Her fire, serenading
The yearning Dead. She came, tall and glorious,
Tattered black shroud whipping in the wind,
Her knuckles shone and clacked like carved rings.
I knelt and gave Her dried roses, blood red.
As She took them, Her gown turned that color
Suffused with life, as if I had given Her my blood.

She is the daughter of shapeshifters,
She is the many faces of Ending,
She is the many forms of Doom.
She is beautiful as a poised serpent,
The iridescent black feather of a vulture,
The quiet slope of a marble gravestone,
The plume of scarlet on the razor’s flash,
The rippling watermark of old burn scars,
The sleek curve of a thorn,
The jeweled flash of a carrion beetle,
A clean white skull in the sand.

(C) 2009 Raven Kaldera

* * * * *
A Small Semi-Poetic Hymn To Hela, Who Owns My Ass

Sometimes I do not like my Goddess much.
Sometimes, even, my voice is raised
In hatred, in wrath, in despair
And yet, of late, the tiny things come to me,
One at a time, the reasons to be grateful
For serving Her. Of late,
I think on how the sky-Gods, the earth-Gods
Take part in politics between those
Who worship them - either to stir up,
Or to make frith, or to teach lessons,
And drag their reluctant servants
Into the screaming fray. Even Flame-Hair
And some darker others, may ambivalently
Turn their gaze and their workers hence.

Yet Her cold gaze
Is set beyond this; She takes no note of such
Tiny things. Perhaps because so few
Revere Her, the importance of folk is not
Counted by their reverence. She casts Her net
Wide and forward-looking; Her eyes seek
The greater plan, the wider implications.
I ask her of community, and She says:

Community is who comes to you
When you open your door and offer to serve
Any who come. Your people are whoever
It is given to you to aid, regardless
Of whether their necks bear hammers,
Pentacles, crystals, or even crosses.
Build the door and they will come,
And come, and come. Be as limitless
As Death, and beyond. Have no foot wholly
In any place, and many more will
Welcome you. Guard your honor,
Do your work, and care only about that,
But care about that deeply,
With an abiding passion
That burns like hallowed flame.

Yeah, I can do that.

So, Lady. If I must be a pawn
Let it be on a wider stage,
A greater play, with a cast of thousands
And thousands more.

You see, I am finding reasons
To be grateful for my Life
Every difficult day of its telling.

(C) 2009 Raven Kaldera

Going, Going, Gone or, You Really Can't Take It With You

2009-04-13T13:58:00.007-04:00

by Galina Krasskova

"Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate."

-- Ambrose Bierce

This weekend was a working weekend for me. I got together with two colleagues, who also happen to be two of my closest friends and we spent four days away from our homes attending to various and sundry spirit-work and God-inspired duties. As always, whenever the three of us get together, even when we're not working, we tend to talk shop. It's a rare time to kick back, relax as much as we're able, and discuss our projects and Work-related problems with other people who understand completely where we're coming from. This can often be enlightening in a plethora of unexpected ways and this weekend was no different.

As I was packing last night, carefully wrapping my runes, a carved Odin statue, and several other magical tools, pouring out the offerings that I'd collected, one of my colleagues brought up the question of how little thought is given to what becomes of the possessions of a Godslave, spiritworker, shaman, or magician when we die. Basically, it's more than just a question of who gets our stuff; but rather it should be a question of who should receive our stuff, and moreover who can safely handle it. What are the repercussions of what we leave behind? I've had to face this question last year when I, at the urging of the duergar Deity Andvari, wrote out my will. I clearly stated that a colleague, also a shaman, was to come in and take all my magical, ritual, and devotional tools and divine via whatever system he chose, to determine what should be done with them. The man I was talking to last night was that shaman in question. This was not the first time this topic had arisen between us.

Why is this important you might ask? Well, just off the top of my head, I can think of several particularly salient reasons: A) my tools are reservoirs of power. The degree of energy that those of us doing this Work deal with on a regular basis has the potential to seriously alter, even harm someone unprepared for it. We have to be modified by our Deities energetically to handle it. It could cause energy sickness, or even blast open latent gifts in someone unprepared, drive them crazy, or worse. B) Some of our tools are ensorcelled. This means that they may contain a living spirit. "Just bury it with me" doesn't work so well when you're dealing with another spirit who has been entrusted into your care. Maybe being buried with you isn't what its wyrd is about. When you contract with a spirit, or even when you bind a spirit you then have an obligation to that spirit. Period. C). Some tools need to be fed, usually with blood, regularly. The spirits involved can get very testy, aggressive, and in some cases dangerous if this isn't done. I think you can see where I"m going with this one. Moreover, harm can come from having powerful tools pass into unsuspecting and unprepared hands. This is a question of lawful responsibility. We, the spiritworkers, magicians, godslaves, and shamans in question have the obligation to make the necessary preparations (to the best of our abilities) to ensure that our working items are disposed of properly after our deaths. We can't take it with us and we need to be really careful about how we leave it behind too!

Part of this ties in to respect for one's tools and resources. For me, this awareness came from my obligations to Andvari. He is all about knowing what is yours by right and what is yours by accident. He taught me about respecting money, and viewing the exchange and transformation of resources as sacred. Part of those lessons was acknowledging that part of honoring that sacredness means making sure that we leave as ordered a house as possible for our descendants. This means making plans not just for disposal of magical items, but for disposal of mundane assets as well. It's all about mindfulness, respect, and responsibility. We're bound by Gods. Our obligations do not end when we die. As my friend and brother W. has said to me on more than one occasion: "In our line of work, death is not a career ending transition!" We are responsible for what we leave behind even after we're gone, if we do not take steps to prevent disarray. This means we can fall into unlawfulness. This means we can incur a wyrd debt. Neither is a particularly good thing whether one is alive or dead. Harm is harm.

This extends further than just writing out a will. I am a Master level magician. My house is tightly shielded. My workroom is even more highly warded. Those wards and shields are external to me. When i die, they don't. While i try very hard not to be brazen about what I do, even under concealment shields, to those with the senses and skilled motivation to ferret it out, my house is the house of a warrior mage of a significantly high level. That's fine while I'm living there. When something does manage to breach my concealment spells, I deal with it. I have that skill. But what if I died, no one tends to my wards and the house is bought by a family with several small children? What if my signature on the house, the power contained there, attracts something Bad then? Who is responsible? Who is going to clean up that mess?

There's an old saying: "prevention is worth a pound of cure" and that really is true in this line of Work. We as a community need to start thinking about what is going to happen when we're gone and what type of a mess we're leaving behind. We need to take steps, not just to ensure that our possessions don't fall into the wrong hands, but that they get to the right ones wherever possible. We need to take steps to ensure that our dwelling places are cleansed, and any operative magic or energy there undone and grounded out. We need to do this not out of any secrecy or territoriality (though these things aren't necessarily bad) but out of sheer responsibility for the safety of those who will come after us. We need to take the steps NOW to ensure that our houses physically, spiritually, magically really are in order while we live and after we die. This is partly something that the communities we serve also have to learn: you benefit from your God-bound person's skills, but there is a necessary protocol to dealing with them. This isn't hubris. It's for everyone's safety. What we do is real. It has consequences (usually to us). Sometimes it's dangerous. Sometimes it's dangerous when we least intend it to be. Alive, we can prepare for these contingencies and safely deal with them. Dead, not so much. Most mundane people have to face these issues when it comes to money, property, and resources. We have to face them there and here, in this area as well. It's a matter of professional responsibility. We need to start discussing this and laying the framework as professionals for dealing with these issues. They're not going to go away and one day, they may just blow up in our collective faces. The Gods don't allow us the luxury of hiding our heads in the sand over any other issue. They're not going to do it here.

The Grass on Both Sides Is Greener

2009-04-10T19:14:00.006-04:00

Many times I have tried to remind myself of how I felt before the gods came into my life. These past few years seem lit up and thrown into sharp relief by the fire of my red-haired Interloper, by the absolute knowledge that gods do exist, and by the vivid experiences to which They have led me. By contrast, the years I spent before Their arrival in my life seem two-dimensional and flat now, in the proverbial 20/20 vision of hindsight. I sometimes wish it were otherwise, however. By that, I mean that I don't ever want to forget what life was like before the spirits chose and claimed me.

I know perfectly well that there are those -- the majority of people, really -- who will never experience the gods in the way I have, nor see the world in the way I do. It's not that I believe that mine is the only valid spiritual experience, or the best one, but it seems to be one that other people who haven't had the opportunity crave very much. Yet talking about how my life has changed since I was first touched by the gods makes me really uncomfortable. Not because I am afraid of being disbelieved or mocked, but because I know that no matter how much they long for it, some of the people who ask me about it won't ever get to know for themselves how it really is. That makes me sad.

No, being god-touched isn't all good. I can say that until I'm blue in the face, but people seldom want to believe it. "Yes, yes," they say, nodding as my words go in one ear and exit the other, "but isn't the rest worth it?" Yes, the rest is worth it. It comes at a very high price, as others have noted on this blog. I won't rehash what they have already said -- if you've been following The Gods' Mouths for any length of time you've probably already got the idea that being a spirit-touched human being isn't always shits and giggles. But neither is it torturous at all times or without any real rewards. I could never consider the depth of my love for my gods, or the love They have shown me, and then turn around and say to someone, "Yeah, this job really sucks." Sometimes it does, but not always. Not even most of the time, although others may differ there.

However, I've realized that it's futile to convince those who haven't experienced this sort of thing for themselves of how hard it is to serve the gods directly, or on the other hand, to truly convey how awesome it is as well. It's terrible and wonderful, full of pain and joy. But, just as someone who hasn't raised a child can't really understand all of the complicated feelings a parent might have, a person who has not undergone the highs and lows of being god-touched to this degree can't really understand the experience of those who have. When I say "understand," I mean with the heart, not with the head. I'm not trying to be an elitist here, or judgmental. That's just how it is.

Saying this to people, though, leaves me feeling rotten and ungracious. Part of my job is to counsel people, to listen to them and help them find solutions to their problems, spiritual or mundane. When someone says longingly that they wish they could have what I have -- direct communication with the gods and a job given to me by Them -- the first thing I want to say is, "No, you don't." But then I think about how I viewed the universe before They came to me. I think about how much Their influence has improved me, how hard They have had me work to overcome my flaws and see myself as a good and worthy person. And I can't honestly tell these people that no, they wouldn't want my job. Doing so makes me think of how I felt many years ago when attached friends would complain about their partners and assure me that life as part of a couple wasn't all romance, companionship and weekends of hot sex. I couldn't hear what they said because all I saw was that they had something I wanted and did not have.

On the other hand, although I would not give this life up now for anything, nor could I go back to having a "normal" life undisturbed by deities and spirits popping into my awareness, and sometimes my bedroom, at all hours, it does get wearying. I have watched longingly as groups of happy, unaware people went about their daily lives, talking about things like ordinary jobs, dating, hobbies, what they're going to wear and where they're going to live -- all things that are under a number of constraints in my own life. I have sometimes wished that I could have the freedom to up and leave to roam the world whenever I want instead of being tied to a vocation, my oaths, my life as a servant of higher powers. I have labored under the delusion that life is simpler for those not in my position; it isn't, really. Nobody's problems will just go away at the wave of a magic wand, even if you're really a magician. In truth, life, whether the gods interfere in it or not, is just as hard, crazy, difficult, uproarious, wonderful and full of the potential for real magic for everybody. If that wasn't true, there'd be no point in it.

So I really don't know what to say to people who want desperately to experience the kinds of things I have, and are seeking assurance that someday it will happen to them, too. I don't feel qualified to tell someone else yea or nay, nor do I know what They might have in mind for somebody. The odds are against most people; folks like me are few and far between, really, even given that there are a number of different permutations of being god-touched, from those who are out-and-out slaves to those who are given a single task to do and told to run with it however they choose. But most people will never end up like me and my colleagues here on this blog. And I don't know whether to feel bad for them or to feel relieved on their behalf.

I suppose all I can say to someone who asks me whether or not I believe they are destined to be a divinely-chosen shaman, spirit-worker, seer, healer or whatever, is that the matter is between them and the gods. After all, I'm a hard polytheist, and I believe that They are perfectly capable of enacting Their wishes without us second-guessing Them either way. I can tell someone how difficult it is to be owned by the gods, and also how wonderful it is to know what my life's purpose is and will be. I can talk about the things I've had to sacrifice and the things They have given me in return. But I can't ever really convey what the experience feels like, and the depths and heights to which we are made to sink and rise. Maybe that's for the best.

The best gifts of all are the ones that come upon us unawares, yet of which we know as soon as we see them that we would die to obtain and keep them. That's as close as I can come to describing my experience as a god-owned priest, and it'll have to be enough. In the meantime, I guess it's my duty to remember what it was like before my eyes and ears were opened and have compassion for those who haven't yet found themselves where I am, or whose path lies in a different direction altogether...and to remember that even when you are god-touched, there are no guarantees.

A New Forum for Ordeal

2009-04-10T15:15:00.004-04:00

We have just started a new magazine, aimed at spirit work and ordeal. It is called Blood for the Divine, and we have already started posting on various subjects. If anyone here is interested in writing about this subject, feel free to email us at godsmouths@gmail.com. I am trying to keep the number of email addresses down...

the editor

On Sacrifice and Love

2009-04-05T15:49:00.002-04:00

By Galina Krasskova
(This was originally written as a sermon for the Palm Sunday April 5, 2009 service of the Interfaith Temple in NYC. The issues involved, however, are ones every mystic, godslave, shaman, and spiritworker must at one time or another face).

St. Augustine said that ‘my love is my weight.” St. Therese of Lisieux wrote that
‘the food of real love is sacrifice.’ I’m a northern tradition shaman. I belong to a God who is all about sacrifice. I’m owned by the God Odin and through my service to Him I‘ve learned that sometimes Deity can ask terrible, frightening things of us and it’s up to us to summon the strength of love to carry us through. It’s up to us to willingly embrace the sacrifice that will in turn bring us closer to our Gods.

We’re coming up on two very important holy tides, both of which, in some way, are about sacrifice. Today is Palm Sunday, when Christ rode into Jerusalem accepting willingly and lovingly the path that would lead to His death. We’re also coming up on Passover, commemorating a time in Jewish history where followers of Yahweh were asked to give up everything and instead to trust their God to bring them out of bondage. Talk about a terrifying offering: you give Me everything and I will give you what you need. Trust me. As you can see, sacrifice is a powerful and sacred thing. We’ve also just passed a very important holy tide in my religion: Ostara, in which we welcome spring. This is traditionally a time of new beginnings and there’s no better time than now to reevaluate where we stand with our Gods and how we can serve Them better because at its heart, both love and sacrifice are about service.

The word sacrifice is really interesting. It means to make sacred. It also means ‘belonging to the Gods.” What a beautiful concept, that through our efforts, through that which we give gladly and willingly we can touch the Gods, we can enter into a loving and reciprocal relationship with Them. Now sacrifice has certainly fallen out of favor in modern society. Personally, I think that’s because of what it implies: there are no free rides, not even with the Gods, most especially with the Gods. Spirituality is hard work. God tested Abraham. He said “give me your son.” Yahweh sacrificed His own son…horribly. Think for a moment on the story of the Virgin Mary: you have a fourteen or fifteen year old girl who was told that she would bear God’s child ...in a culture that ostracized and stoned unwed mothers. By accepting the sacrifice her God asked, she was risking not just her comfort, her reputation, her future, but her very life as well. Nor are examples of such sacrifices absent from the polytheistic religions, as I well know. The God that I serve hung Himself on the Tree of life for nine nights and days in agony. The Goddess Inanna descended to the underworld where She died and it took yet another sacrifice of her beloved husband to restore Her to life. The Goddess Isis sacrificed both Her husband and Her son at various points in Her sacred canon. Sacred stories from faith after faith after faith are replete with Gods and Goddesses who sacrifice themselves, who undergo painful ordeals all to show us what spirituality may require. These sacrifices come down to one thing: love. Love isn’t some abstract ideal, it isn’t some sentimentality. Love rolls up its sleeves and gets to work. It’s like having a baby. Loving the baby is all very well but that love is expressed by cleaning and caring for the baby: by changing its diapers, by keeping its ass clean, by feeding and burping it. Love is hard, ongoing work.

I have a colleague who defines devotional practice as the art of religious love. But what does that mean? What is devotional practice? What on earth does it have to do with sacrifice. Oh, you’d be surprised. Committing to consistent mindfulness is one of the most challenge things you can ever do and devotion is just that. There are many, many ways to engage in devotional practice. What ties the various techniques such as ritual, prayer, meditation, and study together is that when engaged in regularly, they have the power to dramatically enhance one’s spiritual practices. These are the things that carry us through our sacrifices. We’re engaging in a type of devotional practice by being here together today. The secret to making it last, to reaping its benefits is to keep focusing on the Gods when we’re going about our daily grind, when life distracts us. All of these things, like regular prayer, or meditation, they help to discipline the mind and heart to the Gods, to create the necessary emotional and spiritual receptivity which can nurture and nourish spiritual life. Devotional practices are grounded in a certain interiority of practice and it is from this interior journey that one is able to establish the building blocks of true piety.

Piety. There’s a word that has fallen out of favor in modern religious circles. It comes from a Latin work: pietas, which literally means dutiful conduct, especially toward the Gods. It encompasses a broad spectrum of right relationship and right action: toward oneself, toward one’s fellow humans, one’s ancestors, and, of course, toward the Gods. It implies a way of being in the world, not out of it but in the world, here and now, and a way of mindful interaction. Essentially, piety is the thorough, all-encompassing expression of ongoing and evolving devotion. At its best, it is quiet and forthright. True piety does not rest in broad, conspicuous gestures or flamboyant, seemingly “religious” behavior. Such things would be caricatures of this virtue. Rather, real piety lies in making one’s heart open to the Gods and striving every hour of every day, as best we can to allow that awareness to govern our every deed. And we do this knowing that in our imperfection we shall fail, --- we are perfect only in our own imperfection -- we shall have set backs, and we shall have to get up, retrace our steps, and forge onward again and again and again. That’s sacrifice! Piety involves the grace on ongoing perseverance. It is this virtue that both informs and flows from ongoing devotional practice. They work hand in hand. And you know what? Through devotional practice, it is possible to fall madly, passionately and deeply in love with your God or Goddess. The key to strengthening that bond is sacrifice.

So what does that mean? Are we all expected to make burnt offerings on some high altar in the wilderness? Hardly, that would be way too easy! Sacrifice is different for every person. It can mean giving up your time, giving yourself the gift of regular discipline in prayer, in mindfulness. It can mean learning to take care of yourself and your body, because these things are precious to your Gods. It can mean consciously accepting certain taboos. I have many colleagues who are shamans and god servants within their communities who willingly (mostly willingly…sometimes we grumble) accept intense taboos. Some are forbidden by their Gods to marry. Others must maintain a partner. Some cannot hold a regular job, some have terrible health problems as a result of their work. I know one woman, also owned by Odin who had to leave her husband because he could not accept being second to her God in her life. She was called to be a shaman, a walking sacrifice to this God. And she paid for that privilege. Like love, sacrifice is rarely an abstract and it is never sentimental. It hurts, it causes a change in who you are and who you might become. Most of all it changes the dynamic of the relationship you have with your Deity. It might mean making that sacrifice in the wilderness. It can mean doing that which is difficult and doing it with an open heart. Inconvenience, my friends, is not sacrifice. The question when we approach our Gods, when we are entering into this holy service is this: will you do that which makes you uncomfortable when the One who has given you breath asks it? I have said before and I’ll say it again here; if we do the work the Gods ask us to do, They will pour blessings into our hands and often from the most unexpected of places. But we have to do our part too. It’s not a one way street.

True sacrifice is about setting aside one’s own sentimentalities, one’s ego, one’s desires. It’s about putting the God or Goddess that you honor centermost in your life and allowing everything else to flow from that holy point. We cannot give too much to our Gods. There’s a beautiful prayer by an anonymous 13th century French mystic that I’d like to share with you now. In it, she says;

“And if of some of you He requires even more,
Asks of you a payment of pain,
Praise Him more joyously still;
The great Good that awaits you
Should make your patience strong.
As a rust-covered sword soon gleams
Beneath the weight of a polishing hand,
So the soul who gives herself truly
Comes to shine with the blows of God.”

I think she had something there, I think she grasped something essential about the spiritual state, about loving and serving a God. After all, folks, if service were easy, everyone would do it.

References:
Maestas, Silence, (2009). Walking the Heartroad. MA: Asphodel Press.
Hirschfield, Jane, (1994). Women in Praise of the Sacred. NY: Harper Perennial.

The End of the Beginning

2009-04-01T17:37:00.001-04:00

Fire and I dedicated ourselves to our Lady in February of 1999, although by that point we had been serving her since the previous October. It was when we swore to Her that our magical and spiritual instruction began in earnest, and Clan Tashlin was formed.

Since then we have studied magic, taught magic, become spirit workers, gained friends, lost friends, healed, destroyed, and seen our lives become something far different than we could have imagined when we first set out on this path. We have grown and changed, taken new names, and reclaimed old ones.

Now we stand on the edge of a precipice. In a few days will be working a piece of incredibly complex magic, which represents the attainment of so much that we have worked towards. We've known this kind of magic exists ever since we swore to our Lady. From day one, as She and our teachers instructed us in the workings of magic, this was always in the back of our minds. It was understood that if we studied diligently, and were good boys and girls we might grow up to someday be ready for what we now find ourselves preparing to do.

It is an unbelievably intimidating thought.

It is not that I lack of confidence in our ability to do the work. Rather it is that there are many spiritual and magical rules and rights that are conveyed upon us and upon our Clan once this is done. For one thing Clan Tashlin, or more accurately Tashrisketlin, becomes an official and living entity in Her eyes, rather than the proto-clan it's been for the past 10 years. What this means to me as the Clan shaman remains to be seen.

Sadly, though not surprisingly, Summer has decided that he does not want any part in this process. Unless he negotiates with Her to leave Tashrisketlin, he will remain part of our little Clan (as there are only eight of us at the moment it would be especially sad to see him go), but at a challenging and triumphant time like this, his absence is especially noted.

As long as I've been Wintersong I have been working towards this moment, but now that it nears I find myself wondering what the future will have in store for us. When one has strived towards a goal for so long, its completion can only be bittersweet. None of this is how I expected it to be, but then I know that I am very much not the person I expected I would be when I looked towards the future 10 years ago.

In some senses the future beyond the completion of this working it is dark. However, it is not the darkness of despair, but rather the sense of anticipation you feel in a darkened room, as your finger rests on a flashlight's on switch and you wait to see what shapes the light will reveal.

Seeking Contributions

2009-03-30T15:13:00.003-04:00

I hope our dear editor will indulge me here. I am currently hard at work on a number of writing projects including a devotional to Mani and Sunna. I would like to invite you, our dear readers, to consider submitting articles, prayers, poems, or songs to this devotional.

Mani is the Norse God of the Moon and Sunna is our Goddess of the Sun. Yes, you read that rightly: our moon Deity is a God, our sun Deity a Goddess. Until recently, They seem to be little worshipped amongst the Northern Tradition community but that is changing now and Mani especially seems to be developing a small, deeply devoted following.

My own interactions with Mani have left me utterly charmed (if not a little besotted) with this God and so I decided to compile an anthology devotional to Him and His sister as an offering. Actually, it's more like I was pushed to do so after a deeply intense experience with Mani and it's not in me to say no. heh. Story of a god-slave's life, not that i'm complaining.

anyway...I"m looking for prayers and articles especially, but also recipes, rituals, and even songs. Sadly at this time, i cannot accept illustrations, but anything else would be happily welcomed.

Anyone interested in submitting should send submissions to tamyris at earthlink.net. Please put "Mani/Sunna submission" in the subject header so I don't mistake your email for spam.

The deadline for submissions is May 1.

Thank you,
Galina Krasskova

LAUNCH! Dear Abby, snarky style.

2009-03-29T22:56:00.004-04:00

So, starting several days ago, but announcing now, we have a new intermittent column. One that will depend on if there is anyone out there hankering for the wisdom and advice of all of us here at Gods' Mouths. So if you have questions that you want answered or perhaps clients or students you want to send to us with an issue, send your questions to us at godsmouths@gmail.com, and title the email "Dear Gods' Mouths" or something like it. We will do our best to answer you, or send you to someone who can.

Hope to hear from you soon,

The editor (I love getting to say that)

The Power of Place

2009-03-25T10:41:00.007-04:00

By Galina Krasskova

Places have power. This seems to me to be a belief common to all denominations of Paganism. Even Heathenry, notorious for its ambivalence toward magic and mysticism acknowledges the holiness of site and space. Navigating one’s place, managing the energy in one’s space via cleansings and wardings is one of the first things a novice magician learns. Creating sacred space, through the usage of a plethora of ritual tools, is one of the first things a novice Pagan and/or Witch learns—at least it was twenty years ago when I was starting out! Places have power and how we conduct ourselves within those sacred sites has the power, by extension, to affect for good or ill, our spiritual life.

Of course, there are numerous ways to create sacred space. Heathens, for instance, often do it by bearing fire around the perimeter of the area. Wiccans cast circles. I’ve seen sound, herbs, aspersing, smudging, the bearing of ritual implements, physically marking off the area, and fire, to name but a few options, utilized in this manner. This is good. This is necessary. What I haven’t seen though overmuch is an awareness of space itself as inherently holy. We know it in our minds but for the most part, we’ve yet to adequately integrate it into our practice. Yet those places that we’ve walked, the places that we’ve been, seep into our bones. They affect us on a very fundamental level. They open us and grow within us in a very special way, changing who we are and how we look at the world, at least they do if we’re not completely head and heart blind.

I’ve traveled extensively in both Europe and the United States spending extensive swaths of time in Germany, Iceland, Scotland, France, Italy, Belgium and, most especially Switzerland. In fact, I’ve only just returned from a trip to Zürich where I went on an extensive ancestral pilgrimage. One thing has become clear to me over the past few years of travel: the land remembers. I learned this when I visited the small village and the attendant forests, roots, trees, and streams that my ancestors from generations ago had lived. The soil remembered the lineage. I learned this when I stood on the shores of the Rhine, where he borders both Switzerland and Germany and made offerings to the waters. The land remembers. We should too.

Now, I know that within modern Paganism and, to a lesser degree, Heathenry, city life is often viewed as somehow less sacred, less connected to the natural rhythms and cycles of nature than rural life; and in some cases, that may be true. Certainly I know that I struggle with my hostility toward the ways in which humanity has raped and plundered the earth, pouring over it like locusts and with much the same effect. The more aware and connected I become to the nature spirits that inhabit the places my ancestors walked, the more I fight that hostility. At the same time, I have found over the years that there is powerful magic inherent in cities – just as much as may be found in the most deserted of country dwellings. It is different, but it is there and so are land spirits. It actually took traveling to Europe to teach me that, first to Belgium and then later to Switzerland and Germany. Not only does each country have its own unique energy signature, but so does each individual city. Brussels does not feel (energy-wise) at all like Zürich, nor does Zürich feel at all like Berlin. It wasn’t long before I began examining American cities and while I personally find it far easier to connect to the land in Europe, American cities have their own unique charm and personality too and the energy can be just as powerful and useful. We may just have to search a little harder.

Let’s use Berlin as an example. I shall attempt to avoid singing the praises of this city. Suffice it to say, I fell in love with Germany’s capital. The first time I sang to Thor and blessed my apartment there and felt such an immense connection with the land and with my ancestors (who, on my maternal side, are German and Swiss), I knew I had something to learn whilst on that soil. It was as though the land itself rose up to meet me. The land spirits, certain ancestors (for those of us who have European ancestors) are much more immediately accessible in Europe and while I’m not sure exactly why that is (I have my suspicions) it made ritual, devotional and magical work much easier. I suspect this may be due to the continuity of culture, language and blood lines sustained by and sustaining each individual place. Regardless, it was an amazing experience and having had that experience once on foreign soil, I believe it is possible to bring that awareness of the power of the land, of the way in which the land itself can awaken one to the Gods and ancestors, and to the myriad ways in which the land energy can change and grow back to my work in the United States.

Because there is so much recorded folklore and history for the land, the people and the cities themselves, Europe is a treasure trove of magical places. Berlin, for instance, has a secluded pond in Tempelhof, a sub-district of the city. It has extensive folklore connecting it to the Goddess Hela and is in fact called Hella’s Pond. Ironically (and fittingly for this Goddess of Death), it is bordered by a cemetery and a craftsman’s shop selling headstones. Hela’s presence is quite palpable. Going there, which I did several times to make offerings, made me wonder why I had never bothered to find such special places in New York City. I realize that New York doesn’t have the Germanic folklore going back hundreds and hundreds of years, but it does have its places of power. Connecting with Hela at the pond in Berlin made me look at New York in a completely new way and that is one of the things that I would like to share with you: regardless of the city in which you live, there are sacred places, places of power, places redolent with the presence of the Gods. All one has to do is mindfully look for them. A good place to begin is with honoring and making offerings to the spirit of the city. Each city has a spirit associated with it. The spirit of NYC is called New York City. The spirit of Paris, is called Paris, etc. The name of the spirit is the name of the city. They can be contacted and honored like any other vaettir. When I realized this, I was ashamed at how long I’d gone without paying any attention or reverence to New York City spirit, especially given that this spirit had sustained me and looked after me for many long, hard, hungry years. It’s never too late, however, to begin honoring the major spirit of the place upon which one lives.

The most important item that I carried with me throughout my sojourn in Berlin and my travels in Belgium and Switzerland was my travel altar. Creating a travel altar is a devotional act and meditation in and of itself. I’ve written extensively in other venues about the importance of altar work but I’ve never before emphasized the altar as a portable devotional tool. It can be, nor are they difficult to make. Travel altars can be as individually unique as the person creating them. Mine started out as a stationary box. I actually bought a set of Japanese greeting cards because I wanted the pretty box they came in to use as an altar container. To that I added an image of Loki and Thor (by Grace Palmer, an amazing artist who is contributing to Asphodel Press’s forthcoming “Jotun Tarot”), a small carving of Odin, items from my main altar that symbolize the Goddess Sigyn for me, a statue of Nerthus in a pouch with red ochre and a few other things, including coins, old fashioned keys (symbolic of several Norse Goddesses), and stones. I was later gifted with an altar cloth and of course, I included a small portable candle. It was simplicity itself but when traveling in a foreign country for an extended period of time, when ‘doing time’ as it were in strange hotels, it really helped to have the stability and comfort of my altar (albeit in miniature) to turn to. To my finished travel altar, I added my northern tradition prayer beads. This was the first thing I set up upon arriving at my student apartment and the last thing I took down.

To make your own travel altar, first find a small, portable box that you like. Cigar boxes are ideal and can of course be decorated by anyone possessing more arts and craft skill than I (which is almost everyone!). I once saw a cigar box that had been padded and covered in lovely paper, satin lined and altered to include a small drawer. It was amazing. I however lack that skill so my poor little stationary box had to suffice. Once you have your box, decide upon a representational image of the God and/or Goddess with which you resonate most strongly. It can be a statue, if you can find one small enough, or a picture or a stone, or anything that fits in the box that speaks to you of that Deity. Then perhaps add elemental symbols: incense, feathers, stones, sacred oil, earth, a candle, etc. (if that is part of your practice). I also chose to add two pieces of driftwood for my ancestors. In Norse Cosmology, humans were first created by Odin, Hoenir and Lodhur out of two pieces of driftwood so for me, this symbolizes my ancestors. But if you want to include pictures of specific ancestors that is an excellent idea as well. Add whatever you like to make this a working altar for yourself. I have seen travel altars in cigar boxes and I have also seen them in small altoid tins. The size and contents are completely open to your own imagination.

I also suggest taking a journal with you. Traveling in a foreign country, particularly if the Gods and Goddesses you honor have a history of worship in that particular country, can be a powerfully different way of connecting to those Deities. It can teach you things about your Gods and about connecting to Them that can be quite surprising. It’s a chance to see a different side to your Deities and to expand your comfort zone a little bit. Keeping a journal of prayers, meditations, insights, and experiences while traveling can both be enlightening and provide a valuable “souvenir” to take home with you. It’s an opportunity to bring sacred mindfulness into even the most mundane of journeys. Try to set aside time nightly to write about your day and then see what experiences and insights that day may have brought.

If you are traveling to an area that forms part of your ancestral map, then you have another wonderful opportunity to both honor and reconnect with your dead. Make offerings to your ancestors, even if only a glass of water set upon your altar. Take the time to re-establish your relationship with them, to invite them to come into your life again. If you have the opportunity to visit the towns and villages that your ancestors came from, all the better, but if not, the experience can still be immensely rewarding. Do be careful when collecting soil, water, or stones – all of which I have done in the past for various altars. Sometimes the spirits of the land are fine with this, but sometimes they want to stay exactly where they are. Be respectful and ask first—you’ll know. You’ll get a sense whether or not it is appropriate to take them with you.

Of course, one doesn’t have to travel abroad to have such a powerful experience with the land, the Gods, or one’s ancestors. With the right approach, one can experience just as powerful a connection right in one’s hometown. For those of us who work with energy, who work magic, or who practice a religion that believes in honoring the land, I think it is very important to be mindful of the land we inhabit here and now. It’s wonderful to honor one’s ancestral lands but that doesn’t mean we can ignore the place we’re living at the moment. Magic is as much about waking up to what’s right in front of your nose as it is about crafting the future or drawing from the wisdom of the past. I think this is something many of us often forget. Connecting with the here and now is as important as connecting with and honoring the ancestors. So, here are a few steps that you can take to learn to work with the energy of your own city in a mindful, vital and useful way. It will enrich your practice a thousand times over.

First, learn the folklore of your city. Every city, no matter how young has its story. Find a good book on your town or city’s history. What groups of people settled there? Was there a native presence? Are there places thought to be haunted? Are there interesting tales or urban folklore associated with particular spots? What is your own history within your city ( i.e. were you born there and if not what drew you to your particular town?). These are all good ways of getting to know the spirit and energy of your hometown and that is the first step toward incorporating that awareness into your regular work.

Next, visit places of interest to you, whether it be a museum or a park or even a specific neighborhood. Visit those places that have unique or particularly interesting folklore attached to them. Walk around your town or city and try to look at it in a new way: try to map its energy. Really pay attention to the flow of energy as you walk and see how it changes, where it’s blocked, what it’s like, etc.

Don’t just seek out magical places within your city but try to create your own. Find places that call to you and begin incorporating them into your meditations and ritual work. For instance, I know of a woman who has a special park in NYC, a very small mini-park set up in Morningside Heights. There is no particular folklore surrounding this park save that it was dedicated by the family of a woman who died on the Titanic. There is no history of magic or religious use of this site yet it speaks very strongly to my friend and for her has become a sacred place. She goes there often to meditate and it is her haven when she is exhausted or depressed. She told me once that she feels it easier to reconnect to the Gods there, when she needs to recharge her awareness of that connection. So don’t let yourself be limited to specific places noted in books of folklore. Go out and explore and find your own sacred spots.

Honor the spirit of your city. If there are specific Deities associated with your city, perhaps – if you feel it appropriate—make an offering to them. If there are not, or you don’t know those Deities, make an offering to the spirit of the city itself. In Norse tradition, vaettir (singular: vaet) are land and nature spirits. The spirit of a city is something like a large vaet. Honor it as an ally just as you might honor spirit allies or ancestors. Develop a working relationship with it and see where that leads. For one of my friends, a devotee of Sigyn and Loki, it led to her becoming seriously involved in environmental work within her town (Monterey, CA). For another, it merely led to him becoming far more comfortable at living in the city as a practicing pagan and magician. It varies but it can add depth and dimension to your practice either way. Explore how your Gods can manifest, how Their presence can be felt and known in the city. While you’re at it, it’s a good idea to make regular offerings to the vaettir too. Beer and bread are good as are milk and honey and in the New World, they often like tobacco. The important thing to remember is that being Earth oriented is a temporal thing. It’s about the here and now as much as it may be about the past.

Find a place in your city that is dirty, polluted either physically with trash, or magically with energy and clean it up. Never neglect the absolutely practical solutions. Pick up trash in a park, on the beach, wherever you find it. It’s a matter of very practical respect. My adopted mother once put it this way: “love isn’t some sentimental abstraction. Love rolls up its sleeves and gets to work.” So does devotion.

The other thing you can do has more of a connection to ancestral veneration than it does to the magic of city living. When I was first visiting Hela’s Pond in Berlin, I stopped in to see the cemetery that is right next to it. I had quite a shock. German cemeteries or at least this German cemetery is beautiful. It looked like a nature park. The graves were not only well tended, but there was the palpable sense that these dead were honored in their own way, that they remained vital members of their families. People visited them and took care of their graves beautifully and in so doing honored and fed the spirit him or herself. It was a startling contrast to most American cemeteries that I have seen. There is a saying in Lukumi that we stand on the shoulders of our ancestors. Therefore, honoring our ancestors should be a vital and valued part of any spiritual practice. Go to a local cemetery. Walk around and read the names on the headstones. Pour out offerings of water or beer. Clean up if the cemetery has trash in it or is dilapidated. Bring offerings to the dead, even if they are not YOUR dead and do so in the name of your own ancestors. Bring flowers, incense, alcohol—whatever you feel is appropriate (in American cemeteries, flowers are the most common gift to the dead) but extend a bit of care to the dead and consider making this an ongoing part of your devotional practice. Your own dead will thank you for it.

You may consider doing is something that was first suggested to me by a fellow gythia (priest). She is currently working on a year long project called the ’30 Day Altar Project.” The purpose of this year long project is “to help you reconsider the way you approach the Gods on a day to day basis by creating a public altar made up by simply living your life faithfully and taking the time to see the High Ones' influence all around you.” (www.altarproject.com). What do you have to do? Set up a public altar to the Deity of your choice after honoring that Deity regularly for a month. While the “30 Day Altar Project” is specifically for Norse Deities, there’s no reason that you couldn’t do this with any Deity on your own. Don’t rush out and buy things though, rather create the altar out of things you find while going about your every day life. Since the altars will be outside, try to make sure that whatever is included on the altar won’t harm the environment or any animals that may eventually come by and pick at it. Look at this act of creating a public (and albeit temporary) shrine as that of giving a gift to the God or Goddess of your choice. It is an offertory act connecting you both to that Deity and to the here and now of your own cityscape.

Better yet, if you have your own piece of land, set up an altar or shrine outside to the land spirits, a place where you can leave offerings. Put up a small cairn of stones, or any other thing you think they might like. Plant trees on either side or bushes or herbs. Keep it energetically clean and well tended. Make regular offerings. Make it a place of haven and sanctuary for the spirits of the land upon which you live.

I have created public altars in California, Berlin, and NYC and each time I have found the experience to be quite unique. Unlike creating and maintaining a permanent altar, where the energy is sustained over time, creating a public altar, an altar that you will then leave to the elements, animals and people, is a powerfully intense experience wherein the energy explodes in one act, one moment and then dissipates gradually over time, feeding the land itself. It is a new way of honoring the Gods within the framework of one’s city or town, of bringing an awareness of the Gods into the most mundane and temporal part of your life and of making a little doorway for those Gods through the creation of the altars, by which They may be experienced. Since materials for the altar are drawn from your daily travels, it also has the side effect of causing you to be more aware of where you’re going, what you’re seeing and what’s right under your nose! It is the perfect way to combine honoring the Gods with experiencing the energy and spirit of your city or town.

Don’t neglect the most mundane of actions either: recycling, composting (if you can), buying organic (if you can afford it), planting trees, picking up garbage, donating time or money to environmental organizations. These too are ways of tithing one’s time, energy, and attention in ongoing devotional practice. There is, after all, that well-known Hermetic saying: As above, so below. In other words, where the devotion of our minds and hearts go, so should our earthly time, efforts and attention follow.

When all this is said and done, consider making a pilgrimage to sites either of ancestral importance, or to sites sacred to the Gods you honor. For instance, I went to Bubendorf, to make offerings to my ancestors in the little village they came from and then I went to the Rhine, to make offerings to Father Rhine, Andvari, and Loki. We don't have a tradition of pilgrimage in Paganism or Heathenry, not like in Christianity, but maybe we should. I've found that going to these places, making these offerings, connecting with the Gods or spirits in such a manner gives one's spirit roots. It opens, changes, and connects us to who we are, where we come from, and why we do what we do like nothing else.

In closing, I think the main thing to remember when learning to work with the energy of your city is that no matter where you stand, no matter where you are, you’re standing on sacred ground. You’re standing on the body of a God or a Goddess (Ymir, Geb, Gaea, Erda, depending on your religion). Wherever you walk is holy.

Auf Wiedersehen and Viel Glück!

Sources:

1. The 30 Day Altar Project: http://www.altarproject.org/
2. “The Urban Primitive” by Raven Kaldera and Tannin Schwartzstein
3. Northern Tradition Prayer beads: http://www.cauldronfarm.com/prayerbeads/index.html#north
4. Grace Palmer’s Artwork: http://www.necropolisstudios.net/

We apologize for the interuption...

2009-03-23T03:36:00.002-04:00

We apologize for the interruption of your regularly scheduled programming and will be back from a short break momentarily...

Actually everyone I know has some form of the flu or is out of the country. Damn you people and your lives. You should all be staying at home 24/7 and writing for me! There that told them.

Winter would especially like to note that the next installment in his series of essays "Marking a Journey in Flesh" will be up shortly, as soon as he can stop coughing long enough to type it.

So if there are any readers out there who have ideas as to things that they would like to write about, or seen written about here on Gods' Mouths, now would be the time to chime in. Provided that you can stop coughing long enough to type as well.

-The Editor

hmmm, muscle relaxants make me floaty

2009-03-19T22:38:00.003-04:00

So, if I lie flat on my back and take the muscle relaxants that the doctors gave me, then my back won't hurt too much. Or so they tell me. So far its all a terrible terrible lie. But given that we should have a post here is a very funny comic about the Norse gods, among others.

I think that Odin's world conquering eye is my favorite character. The first comic is about Baldur's pants, but it continues on for quite a while.

here is the link to Brat-Halla.

Mother Earth Kicking Ass (science article of interest)

2009-03-16T16:44:00.003-04:00

I'll admit that I'm biased, as a magician who works closely with the land this article was of a special interest to me. The idea that what we as humans are doing to our environment effects our climate is hardly new. However, if this research pans out, a whole new way of looking at how we interact with our environment will be required. I believe that we have to recognise that we live with the earth not merely on it.

The idea of microclimates is not a new one, but as this article shows, it is one scientists are barely beginning to understand.

Urban Sprawl, Climate Change Fueled Atlanta Tornado

A Few Questions to Ponder

2009-03-14T19:07:00.003-04:00

By Fire Tashlin

I know that I have a tendency to look at my relationship to my Lady and any other gods that I am working with more as a job than as a privilege. I have to make a constant effort to see myself and what I do for Them as a positive effort, rather than divine busy work. One of the ways that I do this is to ask myself a few questions, and if I don't have or don't like the answers, then I try to look as what I am doing again.

When I am having trouble finding meaning in what I am doing I try to puzzle out what the rationale behind jobs that I am given, often a losing proposition. I look for a common thread, or a theme, or even a commonality in clients that are sent to me.

So here are the set of questions that I ask myself, and hopefully they will be of use to others in the same situation.

What does this work do to change my life?

What have the gods brought into my life for the better or worse?

What service am I doing for Them, and does my current attitude detract from that service?

Do I care if my attitude makes my job harder? Do they care?

These questions sometimes help me to put everything that I do in perspective, and narrow down what is bothering me about what I am doing enough to address it or not, as appropriate.

Horses in Archeology

2009-03-12T02:48:00.004-04:00

Starting today, each week I will be posting a different article or discovery of interest to me, and I hope to the greater community of spirit-workers. They will generally be in the fields of art, archeology, and science as those are the fields that I find the most interesting. If anyone reading has an article or topic that they would like spotlighted in these weekly posts, feel free to email a link or a short description to godsmouths@gmail.com.

This week's article is in the field of archeology, and deals with a new discovery by a group in the UK. Given that the horse is the sacred animal for so many of the deities that we work with, I found this article about the earliest known evidence of horse domestication fascinating.

Here is the link to the article in the Science Daily.

God-Bothered

2009-03-12T02:06:00.003-04:00

By Anya Kless

While I’m a relatively new spirit worker, I have had my share of trials bumbling down the “What the hell is talking to me?” path. By God-Bothered, I mean the feeling that something divine or otherworldly is trying to get your attention. This can happen in a myriad of ways—dreams, omens, strange encounters, visions, meditations, etc—in incidents ranging from the gentle to the brutal. If you feel that this describes you, please reach out to others for help and clarity, even as a seasoned practitioner.

Based on my own experiences, here are the steps I recommend, in this order:

1. Determine if this is indeed a god

If you do nothing else on this page, please—for your own safety—follow this step. Many things can mess with the human realm besides deity, including ancestors, angels, demons, and wandering spirits. If you are susceptible to spirit communication—for example, if you have the gift of mediumship—you especially need to confirm this. Spirits can latch onto us for benevolent and not-so benevolent reasons. They can feed on our energy, particularly if we have been less than vigilant in our basic psychic hygiene (centering, grounding, shielding, warding, and cleansing).

Spirits are incredibly adept at deceiving us. They can masquerade as gods or other spirits quite convincingly. Recently, myself and two other spirit workers were all duped by the same dark spirit, despite our combined experience. It affected our behavior and our judgment to get what it wanted. It can and does happen.

Fuzzy signal clarity can also cause less dangerous mixed messages. I missed the fact that my ancestors were trying to contact me by mistaking them for Odin. While Odin is a huge presence in my life, the visions I saw of running with the wolves in the woods were actually my blood brothers calling me rejoin the pack.

So how can you know for sure? The best bet is outside divination, preferably from multiple sources. Even if you practice yourself, it is vital to seek a respected, objective source. Sometimes we see what we want to see, or we simply don’t have enough distance to perceive the big picture. Divination cleared up both of the cases I cite above. When I felt Odin around me, His presence was confirmed by 3 separate spirit workers, two of them Odinspeople. I would not have opened to Him without this check.

Do not proceed to step two until you’ve had the divination done. Really. If this is a god, they’d want that.

2. Who is this? And what do you want?

If this hasn’t been cleared up during step one, you will now face the task of figuring out who this is. Sometimes the signs could not be clearer—every time you turn around, you see their name or their image. Books jump out at you from shelves.

This too, however, can be misleading. I have mistaken gods for other gods or saints on several occasions, particularly when they have similar iconography or qualities. Eleggua, Mercury, and Loki have blurred together for me in the past. For months, I mistook Lilith for Santa Marta. They both were fierce, non-traditional women with snakes. In that case, I knew Lilith was a figure in Judeo-Christian myth but had never thought of her as a goddess or heard of anyone who worked with her. Your perceptions may be clouded by the pantheon you traditionally work with or whatever happens to surround you. During Lilith’s arrival in my life, I was frequenting botanicas in Harlem. The Santa Marta candles that kept calling to me were probably the closest thing she could find to clue me in.

Some people have found the use of PPG useful in these situations (Peer-collaborated Personal Gnosis). You might want to check in how a god has appeared to others and see if this gels with your experiences.

As for what they what, again, this is something you will want to confirm with an objective reading. However, you can also start asking questions or requesting that guidance be given. Talk, listen, and be on the look out for answers in unlikely places. This is where knowing a bit about you deity can be useful.

The terms of this relationship may or may not be negotiable. Find out if you have a choice, and think long and hard about it.

3. Know that there are many different types of human-god relations

You might experience your arrangement with this deity as parent/child, teacher/student, master/slave, or owner/tool. You may be lovers. You may be spouses. All of these are equally special and valid – none is higher or better than the others. This also may change or develop over time.

Like identity, this is also something easily mistaken. In my relationship with Odin, I moved over a number of months from thinking he was my Father to my Master to finally my Husband. Moreover, this final stage came as a complete surprise to me and was only revealed by another Odinswoman.

Odin is my husband, lover, master, boss, and my god. I relate to him in a variety of roles, which require a variety of actions and training on my part. Nothing is simple here.

4. Know that you can have multiple relationships with gods in different permutations

Odin owns me, but Lilith and Loki have appeared as teachers for me. Because of this, I owe them both a debt of obligation, for the rest of my life. Odin, however, will always come first. Adding my ancestors to the mix makes things even more complicated. I have a huge obligation to them, nearly rivaling Odin’s claim on me. I make and share a homemade meal for them weekly. I visit them through meditation weekly. I have changed my diet for them. I follow rules of behavior for them. Even Odin had to haggle with them to secure the terms of my marriage. I envision them as hard-as-nails Polish grandmas, slapping Odin’s hand with a wooden spoon to keep Him in line. One obligation does not excuse you from the rest.

5. It’s not all fun and games

If you are lucky enough to have a “honeymoon” period to your relationship, cherish it while it lasts. They will hook you with whatever it takes to get you. For some people, this is sex, attention, or romance. For others, this is power, knowledge, or new abilities. For others, this is a near-death experience or mental instability, both of which strip away that which distracts you from them. This initial tactic is not their main interest in you – they will want you to do some kind of meaningful work for them.

No matter whom you work with or how sweet they seem, they will always ask you to face the deepest fears and insecurities you have. Otherwise, no dice. They may have little tolerance for bad behavior, resistance, or being ignored. They will take things from you to teach you a lesson, get your attention, or just because they think you’re better off without them. This could mean your job / partner / health / sanity / home / bank account / sexual freedom. Like monastic life, they may require vows of poverty, chastity, and absolute fidelity to their wishes.

I once found a crucial tidbit about Lilith in an otherwise unremarkable book. Lilith does not show you your path—she destroys everything that is NOT your path. Rather than fighting this destructive energy, it’s best to accept it and learn to see its usefulness.

They may require you go to school or learn a trade. What they ask you to do might not be something you’d ever do otherwise. Their morality or values may not match your own or your expectations of them. The people they ask you to serve may annoy the hell out of you. Before you make any decision in your life you will need to consult them and then follow their wishes. You no longer call the shots in your own life.

6. Their interactions with you may not match your expectations or desires

If you’re meant to serve, they don’t care that you don’t like your job or think something’s unfair. There is no fairness in this phenomenon. No matter what your permutation, none of these relationships are equal power. While you might be permitted to yell, cry, and otherwise vent your displeasure, you WILL be doing what you are told. You cannot threaten them or tell them what to do. You can, it’s just incredibly stupid.

They may or may not care that you’re happy, lonely or it hurts. They may punish you disproportionately for messing up or cheating on them with humans or neglecting them.

I don’t mean this to be the voice of cynicism, just reality. Yes, the rewards are countless. But never, ever take for granted the serious weight of this relationship.

Unexpected Blessings

2009-03-10T22:54:00.003-04:00

By Galina Krasskova

There are times in every shaman or spirit worker’s life when he or she wonders if what we do is worth it. There are times, where the frustration, exhaustion, and constant work overwhelm. There are times, many of them, when burn-out threatens; and there are times when we wish for nothing more than a normal, quiet, un-magical life. There’s no shame in any of this: it happens. It’s part of being human. There are also times, however, beautiful, magical, breathtaking moments where the Gods send us the immense gift of showing us exactly why we’re doing this and exactly how it’s touching those we interact with and by extension, why it is important that we persevere. Those moments can make all the pain, frustration, and exhaustion worthwhile. They are small gifts of grace and more precious than any jewel. I received just such a gift this past Sunday.

Like most shamans, I regularly see a plethora of clients for everything from counseling to divination to the teaching of specific skills. This past Sunday I was meeting with a woman in order to teach her basic psychic hygiene. She is a strong empath and in her work as a social worker, the untrained gift was giving her some trouble. Now for the past couple of weeks, I had also been praying to Odin, asking Him to show one of His women (another client of mine) how deeply He loves her, to give her a bit of positive reinforcement as she embarks on a very difficult and grueling part of her Work for Him. I never expected that through a client, He would give me that self-same gift.

During the course of our work this past Sunday, my client shared with me something that had been bothering her in her own work for some time. She counsels a woman who had lost an eye in an accident (Her client, whom I shall call X. had actually been stabbed in the eye several years ago) and due to poverty had never been able to have any reconstructive surgery done. My client mentioned that even some of the other counselors and social workers at her job respond badly to this woman and are very derogatory (it’s a difficult thing to be a woman with any type of unusual appearance in our society, most especially in the eyes of other women). She said “X has one good eye and…” and I interjected with “and one good eye.” And then I told her, moved to tears by the image of the woman X. that came to mind, that in her scarred face, X embodied the God that I love and serve above all Others. For me, to look upon her was to see the face of Odin beautifully, powerfully, exquisitely reflected in human form. There is nothing more beautiful than that. As the image of X’s face dominated my mind all I could say is “how beautiful she is.” Even now, I am nearly moved to tears recounting this experience. It’s a simple thing, but an immensely powerful thing to see one’s Love reflected in the most unexpected of places.

My client began to cry and expressed how very much that meant to her and how much it would help her give X. the assistance that she needs. She said they often “go to places” where such things can be discussed. As we continued with her lessons, going over the basics of psychic hygiene (cleansing, centering, grounding, shielding) that would provide the foundation by which she could learn to control and use her gift of Empathy better, tears flowed freely as my own client experienced for the first time a sense of comfortable wholeness in her body, a sense that she had a right to be in the world just as she was. I saw what my commitment to the Work entrusted to me can do. I saw why, in the form of a crying, joyous woman curled in a chair in my workroom, it really is all worthwhile.

There are times our work royally sucks. Then there are times like this where from the most unexpected of places, at the most unexpected of times, simple graces are poured like jewels into our open hands.

I was recounting this story today to an academic colleague who was asking me about my religion and spiritual practices. She looked at me surprised and said, “So…your religion is really an every day thing?” The question surprised me, but I realized yes, yes it is: every moment, every breath; and there are times, like today, when I am immensely grateful for that. Gratitude enhances our practice. It, like prayer, helps us hold the line when everything in our hearts and minds and very tired spirits says “just give up.” I have said before and I will say it again: if you do the work, the Gods will provide. Recognizing that and allowing your heart to be filled with gratitude for that care, for that love, for those most unexpected of blessings, well, that’s part of our work too and it’s the part that can benefit us the most.

Finis.

Marking a Journey in Flesh Part II

2009-03-09T17:41:00.002-04:00

By Wintersong Tashlin

A week ago I posted part one of Marking a Journey in Flesh, a four part series about my shamanic death ordeals and the specific body modifications I got to mark each one. Where last week I wrote about my fire ordeal and the branding that accompanied it, this week I'll be describing my water ordeal and the tattoo that was done to commemorate it. I would strongly encourage you to go back and read part one and before you go ahead and read this essay.

Part one of Marking a Journey in Flesh can be found here.

Water ordeal: Tattoo

The ritual:

My water ordeal would be my other timed ordeal. It would also been one of the places in my ordeal cycle where I felt I really screwed the pooch. My Lady spelled out the requirements of this ordeal soon after the fire was over. I would need to do a vigil from sundown to sunrise in a body of water. This automatically meant a respite for a period of time as it was still far too cold for anyone to survive that. Summer in New Hampshire however, is still not exactly the Caribbean, and I kept putting the ordeal off. Finally one day I went to the lake with my family for a swim. When it came time to get out I've found that I was unable, and I was informed that it was now time to do the ordeal.

Unlike my fire ordeal there isn't a lot to say about my water ordeal. Even on a warm summer evening the lake saps your and heat and strength surprisingly quickly, and I alternated between huddling up in a fetal position wrapped in a space blanket underwater to keep warm and dancing in the water to keep moving. I learned how to move and dance with the water as opposed to against it and I spoke to the spirit of the lake about what it meant to be a lake. Around 3.00 AM, when I felt I was really starting to understand and "get" what I needed to the police arrived.

Fireheart had agreed to stay with me at the lake through the evening to make sure I stayed safe. She quickly and deftly spun a story for the officers about us testing a new underwater life saving device. Although the police seemed to buy her story they informed us that we had to leave. She asked for half an hour to get our supplies together, planning for us to move to a different part of the beach. However, I took the time to ask the spirits if I had gotten what I needed to get out of the ordeal. Since I had already gained what I needed to I was told I could end the ordeal early.

It was hours and hours before I was warm again, I had underestimated how much the lake had sapped my energy and my strength. As with the previous ordeal I came away with little more of my Life Energy gone. In its place in my heart there is the cool, graceful, flowing energy of the lake.

The body modification:

Just as branding was used to mark my fire ordeal, it only seemed appropriate that water or liquid be used as the modification to mark my water ordeal. The most logical way to do this with a tattoo. When one thinks about it, a tattoo is about taking ink into your body and in doing so change your body's appearance forever. Just as I procrastinated with the ordeal itself, I waited for far too long to have the tattoo done. The problem was that I couldn't find a design that felt right. My perceptions of water changed during that ordeal, and I felt that I needed to express that in my tattoo.

I also felt it was important that the tattoo honor the lake itself. Part of what I had experienced during the ordeal was a personal and intimate connection to this body of water. In a sense, the lake had been the facilitator of my ordeal.

For this reason, the imagery needed to be evocative of freshwater rather than the more common ocean imagery. One obvious way I could have done this was with a koi tattoo. However, koi imagery is very popular at the moment in the tattoo world. This journey is one that few people will ever make, and I wanted that reflected in some way in the tattoo, if only by the selection of less ubiquitous imagery.

The final design featured about 15 lake or aquarium fish in silhouette spiraling up my right calf with blue and green wash following them in the spiral. As with many of my tattoos, Fireheart did the initial design, and then worked with the tattoo artist to make it a design suitable for inking.

Getting the tattoo itself proved far more unpleasant than I had anticipated. Worse, despite going to one of the more reputable studios in New England, two days later I found myself with a severe infection in my entire leg, which swelled dramatically. It took over a week and 1/2 and very powerful antibiotics before I was doing better. It somehow seems too appropriate that the water ordeal body modification should end with my leg full of fluid. More than once I asked myself if I was making up for the time I missed in the lake by leaving early, or perhaps for the intervening years when I kept not getting the tattoo that I knew I needed.

Claimed by the Gods

2009-03-08T22:01:00.005-04:00

When someone gets claimed by the Gods to be in Their service, it can be a troubling thing. We live in a host culture that is essentially post-religious, and the dominant paradigm does not allow for experiences such as talking and other activities with the Gods, and having Them intervene/interfere directly in one's life. Even if one is a Pagan polytheist, often sharing with one's "coreligionists" can provoke reactions from skepticism to harassment and shunning. It is seen as a sign of mental illness, or at the very least self-delusion and wanting to be "speshul". We don't have many analogs in Western civilization for this. Studying Siberian, Asian, and African spirit-workers can make sense, but their belief systems and worldviews are still quite different from ours, and so their brands of shamanism are not always comparable.

However, it does seem we do have an analog, albeit a fictional one.

I am about to show what a real geek I am, but lately I've been watching old episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and it started to occur to me that Captain Benjamin Sisko is, for better or worse, a spirit-worker.

Sisko starts off taking over Deep Space Nine after the death of his wife. He goes to Bajor to meet the alien race he'll be working with most closely, and their Kai calls him "emissary". Sisko then discovers the "Celestial Temple", the wormhole where the Bajoran "Prophets" live, and they take an active interest in him. For the first couple of years Sisko refers to the Prophets as "wormhole aliens" and adamantly does not want to be their emissary. However, they talk with him and intervene in his life enough times that he begins to believe in them, and accepts his role as their emissary. This is much to the dismay of the new Kai, Winn Adami, who feels cheated because the Prophets have never talked to her, and you see antagonism between Kai Winn and Sisko because Sisko, a non-Bajoran, has been touched by the Prophets, and the religious leaders of Bajor have not. Sisko does things like take artifacts to study and understand the will of the Prophets better, rather than leaving them in the hands of Bajoran people who have dedicated their entire lives to the study of their religion, which causes controversy. Periodically there are individual Bajorans who seem to receive favor from the Prophets, such as the devout Kira Nerys, but only Sisko is their emissary. Working for the Prophets causes Sisko to make unpopular decisions and frequently have his judgment and sanity questioned by his crew and those close to him, and in the end Sisko sacrifices his own life for them.

While, again, Deep Space Nine is fiction, it is clear that Sisko is the archetypal spirit-worker. He goes from doubt to acceptance, working for the Prophets even when others question him or resent his status, because he can do nothing else. He gives himself for them, and while it is for the greater good, it is still his life at the expense of the greater good.

I used to be OK with talking about things like journeying or visionary experiences, and stopped after friends of mine complained they tried to do these things and couldn't and they wanted what I have. I have become a lot more reticent because people really don't know what they are asking for. My ability to journey through the Otherworlds or receive messages from the Gods is not something I do as a game or for laughs. I do this as part of my Work. The average devotee of the Gods can do votary practices and get an "all is right with the world" feeling and indeed, there is nothing wrong with this. When you are claimed by the Gods to do Their work, your life is no longer your own. There are different degrees of ownership, but all of us get re-wired with the compulsion for service. Other people get the option to believe or don't, to do a ritual or don't. The life of a spirit-worker is so completely inundated with Divine presence that we don't get that option of disbelief or just deciding to do our own thing. That doesn't mean we don't have any autonomy, and most of us will get some leeway if only to make sure we are still functional and thus able to serve Them. But you don't get what I get without the deconstruction and rebirth/re-wiring that comes with it. Frankly, you don't want it, and you're better off without it. If everyone was just like me, the world would cease to function. Because we are the walking dead, everything takes a back seat to this Work.

So the question remains why this happens to us. I think the Gods are invested in this place, and though They are not dependent on our worship to exist, They do draw energy and power from our offerings and devotion. I mentioned the average devotee of the Gods, who may be "headblind" or may only get a little "ping" once in awhile, but otherwise has a feeling of rightness and is getting something out of their religion. One of the reasons why spirit-workers exist is to serve the general populace of worshippers, to intervene and mediate between Gods and man. Another reason is to minister directly to the Gods, and manifest Their presence in this world. Many of us find ourselves being called Gates or Doors or Bridges by our Deities, and this is not just an epithet to be cute, it is a label of what we are to Them, in our Work. I myself am a Light-Bringer. This does not mean that every single person I come across gets the full 1000-watt Frey energy, but it does mean that even in perfectly mundane situations I try to align myself energetically to be the force of calm and good, to still strife and comfort those around me. This is easier said than done, as someone who was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, but several spirit-workers have noticed "mods" in my energy field which assist with this process and Frey Himself has said it is just as much for my own benefit as for others.

It is not popular or comfortable to think of our Gods as Beings who love Their people and their home so much that They would take a handful of people and break them apart for the greater good, yet that is exactly what is happening. Too many people give lip service to the Gods without knowing the beauty and terror of Their presence, even people who claim to be hard polytheists and claim to truly believe in the Gods as individuals. It is perhaps better that most people do not experience the deep and overwhelming holiness of the Divine, but that is ultimately what They are. They create, and They destroy.

I leave you with a verse from the Anglo-Saxon Rune Poem, which says it better than I can. One of the old words for "temple" was ealh, and in the Anglo-Saxon Rune Poem, the verse usually thought to be one about an elk is very particular about describing the energy within an ealh, or temple:

The Eolh-sedge is mostly to be found in a marsh;
it grows in the water and makes a ghastly wound,
covering with blood every warrior who touches it.

The presence of the Gods wounds us so we can be healed, and heal others. That is all.

Looking Upwards

2009-03-08T03:01:00.002-04:00

By Fire Tashlin

When we as spirit workers need perspective on our lives and our clients, it's good to know that there are others looking into the unknown with us. While we work with the forces and embodiments of our homes and gods, they are always looking for the next step, the next challenge. I find that inspiring.

Here is a link to an article about the latest step in that journey.

Devotion is a Warrior's Art

2009-03-04T21:05:00.003-05:00

by Galina Krasskova

In the desert of my heart You came.
Lady of fire, You stripped me bare.
With fire and searing heat You opened me,
Implacable One.
Mighty Warrior Goddess,
You have devoured me,
torn the flesh from the withered reliquary of my heart,,
gnawed at the battered bones of my spirit.
You have nourished Yourself on my pain
until I could not run,
could not flee,
could not beg, or plead, or cry.
And in doing so,
You have gifted me
with wholeness.

I have always been attracted to the warrior arts. It is a deeply ingrained passion that over the years honed me and honed my spirituality. Picking up a sword for the first time when I began my study of Iaido as an adult was like coming home. Closing my hands around a Glock 9mm when first learning to shoot even more so. There is a peace in the warrior’s abode, a calm serenity unsought after, unexpected that comes as a natural consequence of the discipline and intensely powerful focus needed for mastery of these arts. Not for me when I became Pagan the Maiden, Mother or Crone. No, I instinctively knew myself to be drawn to a far different type of Goddess.

From the very beginning, I sought out Warrior Goddesses: Sekhmet, Kali, Morrigan (especially Sekhmet)—Goddesses who revel in the bringing of death at weapons edge, at conquering the knife edge terror of impending mortality, of tempering the chaotic playground of one’s emotions and of living a life of single-minded purpose; Goddesses who understood violence and the unrelenting mastery of it. Of course, in those days—easily 15 years ago—no one really spoke of the war-Goddesses. It was a verboten subject as though the path of the warrior was diametrically opposed to any spiritual path at all. For me it was never so. For me, it was an ongoing path of harsh clarity. Of course, I learned very early on that not everything that is harsh is bad.

I was taken up by Sekhmet very early on in my Fellowship of Isis days, eventually becoming Her priestess. Eventually, She led me to Odin and Loki and handed over the reins if you will, but even so, She will always and forever remain my Mother. Her lessons were harsh and Her training implacable. In many respects, She readied me not only for Odin but for the work that He would have me to. She made me a warrior, broke and honed me and I emerged the better for it. Every night for a year I prayed to Sekhmet. I prayed that She burn me, purify me, strip me of everything that might interfere with my spirituality. I prayed that She make of me the most useful of tools. (That is a secret most warriors won’t think to tell: the highest compliment we can give is this: to say one has been of use). She took me at my word. I discovered rather quickly that it is one thing to pray to a Goddess or God. There is no necessary responsibility in the mere utterance of words. There is hope. There is wishing. There may be commitment but if one’s prayer is not immediately answered it is easy enough to back away, safely, secure in one’s own world. But when one receives a definite answer that entire world shatters. Nothing is ever the same again.

Sekhmet destroyed me.

She took an impulsive child and stripped me bear. She made of that child a devotee and a priest. She readied my heart for devotion, for service, for love. She took from me my profession, my apartment, those around me who had been friends and spiritual guides. She left me barren and bereft and anguished. And I am grateful. She took me to a place of desolation so profound that I had only Her to sustain me, only Her to turn to. I needed that. I needed to be reduced to simplicity, humility and raw, unhoned desire. I needed to be broken.

I served Sekhmet for many years. To this day, I pay homage to Her for setting my feet upon a warrior’s path, for naming those things I knew lay within me, for giving me the courage to live as She wished. Those things I learned at Her feet prepared me not only for priesthood but for a life of centered devotion. Of all the gifts I learned, both from Goddesses of war and my study of warrior arts the most invaluable one was this: when I chose to commit to my Gods, I did so fully. When I set my feet upon the path that eventually led me to become inextricably bound to Woden – as my life now is-- it was those lessons learned at the edge of a warrior’s blade that prepared me for the commitment.

Ah, Sekhmet seemed so cruel at the time. She took me in hand early on and stripped me bare. I who had played at being a warrior for so long, who had hungered for the starkness of the training learned soon enough what it meant to belong to such a Goddess. The compassion of a Warrior Goddess is the most ruthless compassion of all. It leaves no room for emotion or sentiment, no room for doubt or fear or regret. All of these things must be sacrificed. All of these things are given over to the duty of unending puja. From Her I learned the value of conflict. I learned that within me at my deepest core lay a beast of rage and fury, a killer that would devour all I held dear in my life if I let it. Oh, I had a temper. I still do though I strive hard not to give it free reign. My rage would boil up in word and deed eating away at my integrity, reputation and friendships. No one else could calm that beast. It was for me reign it in. And that was a duty I was failing at. I saw myself in the mirror of Her fire as I never hope to see myself again. She shattered me in that first year and then slowly began the process of rebuilding. Looking back at a process that began years before I ever consciously uttered Her name, I realize that She was giving me exactly what I needed. She was tempering me like a blade is tempered in the heated forge: being beaten, hammered, molded and beaten again, subjected to annealing flame over and over again. I’m afraid I was very stubborn and it took me a very long time to fully accept the precious gift of self-discipline that She offered.

Eventually, I learned to rule (at least a little more) that beast of rage that lay inside. I who had a vicious temper and a physicality and training enough to be dangerous, I learned restraint. I so deeply passionate about everything I did for good or for ill learned to govern my passions. I learned to examine emotions carefully and then to set them aside. “A warrior acts from duty first”, She taught me. “And she does not fear to live.” There are no facades with these Goddesses, no room for sentiment, no hiding from truths however painful. Most of all, there is no safety. She and She alone taught me to love my Gods without condition, to step into the fire of ecstasy and inspiration that They bring and willingly court immolation. It was the Warrior who made of me a mystic.

I learned to pray with a sword in my hand-or a gun for I find pistol shooting to be extremely calming and meditative. It is ice to the heat of the sword’s song. I learned through strict training to seek an unerring center, to allow nothing to deter me from my goals, not my own ego, my own stubborn resistance to change, my own laziness, emotion upset and certainly not anyone or anything outside of myself. I learned to seek the Gods with an unswerving surety that scares even me when I think back on it. She made sure I would never be a slave to my own fear, my own desires, my own pride or ego or hubris. I was painfully young when I came to Her, and so hungry for knowledge. Sekhmet, upon taking me in hand had pushed me pretty quickly into serious study of the martial arts. This of course, was no hardship. My only difficulty lay in deciding what to study! Of all the weapons in the world, the katana has always held the greatest fascination for me. It presents clean almost stark lines and must be wielded with a ruthless precision that causes my spirit to rejoice. After observing one class at a local dojo, I knew that I had found the martial art for me. The only exhilaration comparable was the moment, a few years later, when I learned to shoot a gun. Through the years the Gods used my study of Iaido as a very visible parallel to my spiritual health. My work in the dojo came to reflect sometimes to frightening proportions, the work that I was doing spiritually and what progress (or not) I was making.

Best of all, at the dojo, my aggressive nature is considered a virtue, though one in need of direction which the physical discipline of training itself provided. The very first class I took, on one of the hottest days of summer, I nearly passed out. I truly thought I was going to die. But one adapts and a little pain is good for the spirit. It is an uncomfortable thing, however, this process of stripping away. For that is what I have committed, by virtue of my commitment to my Gods, to continually doing. When I entered the dojo, I was taken me back to the beginning, and forced gain those skills and self control that I should have been trained in years ago well before I ever became an adult. I am a child again fumbling for understanding. My meditation and magic came to lie on the material plane, in a stark training hall and endless repetition of kata; my ritual garb hakama and gi; my libations sweat, bloody hands and aching muscles. (Those initial classes during the summer proved the first time in my life where I’ve been so sore I just sat down at home and cried). This was all to Sekhmet’s liking. When She relinquished Her hold on me, passing me into the arms and auspices of Woden (a God known for His penchant for strong women) I was a completely different creature than the one that had first reached out for the Gods.

Through Her, I had been forged into something, someone that could be of service to the God that I love beyond breath and being. Oh, I fell deeply in love with Woden and service to Him soon began to govern my life. To love a God so deeply that you willing seek out the sharing of Their pain requires a will strong enough to endure proximity with the terrifying reality of the numinous. It requires a will and a sense of self forged in stone, one that will not break under the weight of duty, nor seek the safety of imagination and personal comfort. I have many faults (my temper for one remains a constant reminder that I am FAR from perfect!) but one small thing I have learned as only a warrior can: when there is nothing else to be done, in the midst of the most tumultuous of storms, hold fast and endure. I like to hope that this one quality has enabled me to be of some use to Woden and the other Gods that I adore. At the very least, I think it ensures I am not too much of a burden.

I worry when I encounter people who are drawn to the idea of being a God-servant or becoming a shaman. Those of us who have been through the breaking, the dying, the reforging answer those innocent queries with “no, you really don’t. You don’t know what it entails. Run now, while you still have the freedom to do so.” Watching novices jumping headlong into “shamanism” without any preparation, without any idea of what ‘shamanism’ really entails chills me to the core. They don’t understand that they may not survive the journey. Those who do this without a strong devotional practice, without a strong connection to a specific Deity (who will also look after the person in question) makes it that much more difficult. Devotion may involve openness of heart, and surrender of spirit but with that it calls for tremendous courage. Rather than explore ‘shamanism’ I’d encourage any would be spirit worker to first get their spiritual “house” in order. Begin with devotion. Allow devotion to lead to strength, discipline, and other essential training. This is a fundamental all too often neglected. It’s not the only thing one needs to survive, not by a long shot, but it certainly ups the odds.

Warriorship is not a metaphor for me. It remains incomprehensible to me that one could grow on one’s spiritual path without ever exploring and embracing the qualities traditionally associated with warriorship. In my life, both daily and devotional, they remain foundational, however disturbing that may be in these politically correct times. Walking this path has enabled me to grow in devotion and love and commitment to my Gods. It has impacted the ways in which I relate to the world and the ways in which I serve my Gods. It has made me a better person. I owe that to Sekhmet.

Listening in the Dark

2009-03-04T14:32:00.001-05:00

by Wintersong Tashlin

Nearly every night for over a year I have found myself sitting at my computer in the hours after midnight, scouring the World Wide Web, looking for something. I have to confess, I don't really know what it is I'm looking for. I scan article after article from various news sources trying to build a picture in my mind of what is happening to our world.

Nearly any time you get together a gathering of spirit workers you will find that there is a big elephant in the room that doesn't get talked about. More of us then I can count have been told by our respective gods to "Get really. Get ready faster, you need to be prepared in time. Something's coming." Pressed for details, the gods get reticent. Many of us have been told "we can't tell you what is coming; things are still too much in the air for even us to know for sure."

For some of us this is a bigger deal than for others. My Lady is a deity of productive destruction. I am a diviner, who also has a strong pre-cognitive gift. That combination means that this question is always in the back of my mind, like a song you can't quite remember, but you still have stuck in your head.

The Lady and Var, her not -quite -servant, have told us several things that would happen over the course of the years. I am ashamed to say that we ignored many of her predictions because so many people were telling us that they were simply wrong. Per Var's instructions for instance, we had converted much of our savings into silver. My relatives, who are commodities traders, finally convinced us that this was foolish and that hard metal would never increase in value and in fact could only go down. Today the price of silver is four times what it was then. The spectacular collapse of the stock market was also something we were informed of ahead of time, but again we ignored what they had to say because people who were considered to be greater experts were assuring us that it couldn't happen. We also ignored the Lady's ever increasing insistence that we learn how to use and own firearms, an issue that gained immediacy when a neighbour started shooting at us.

While the Lady can't or won't tell us exactly what is coming down the line, there have been specific times where she has said "Look at this thing, this is a piece of the puzzle." Changes in historic weather patterns, Global warming, the world's financial crisis, political instability in the former USSR, these are a few things that I've been told are pieces of that puzzle. I have many others, but far too few to know what the picture looks like.

And this is how I end up sitting here at my desk at four in the morning, scanning the immensity of the Internet and trying to feel for shifting patterns in the wyrd. MRSA infections are on the rise among children, and it's clear even through the technical jargon, that doctors are terrified of what's going to happen once the last of their antibiotics stop working. Is this relevant? Does this matter? Several former Soviet nations have decided to form a unified military. Puzzle piece, or not? How about China landing a lunar probe?

There are times when I feel like we as a people are standing in a tunnel. We know there's a train coming because we've been told, and those of us with really good hearing have heard its rumble for some time. But now we are starting to see the glimmer of its headlight, and I worry that by the time we can see the body of the train itself it'll be too late to jump out of the way for any of us.

Shamanism and Neo-Shamanism: The Practical Divide

2009-03-02T02:49:00.001-05:00

by Raven Kaldera

This weekend I went to a Pagan conference in a different part of the country. I noticed that there were a lot of workshops with the “shamanic” word in them besides mine, and I wasn’t particularly sanguine about attending any of them. That term has been slapped onto all sorts of things, to the point where it’s laughably meaningless in some contexts. The last thing I wanted to do was to suffer through some fake Native American-ish ritual with a lot of rattle shaking and you-create-your-own-reality New Age guided meditation salted with self-help language. (I’m not saying that those meditations aren’t useful for people, cultural appropriation aside, but they aren’t shamanic and they aren’t useful for me.) So I resigned myself to avoiding the workshops in general, because there wasn’t much else that I wanted to see.

However, something - or Someone - kept poking me to go to a workshop taught by two shamanic practitioners. You need to learn about these sorts of people, the voice said - it wasn’t so much a spirit-voice as a spirit-memo, a slip coming down from the Head Office telling you that it would be good if you took a class in Italian because there’s going to be a branch opening in Rome soon. So I went, reluctantly.

The couple who ran the workshop called themselves shamanic practitioners, a courtesy which I appreciated. They spoke about their many students, and how sometimes those students ran into the “dark side” of shamanism, which included being freaked out by spirits who might want to have sex with you, or running into parts of yourself that weren’t very nice, or running into spirits who might not be made of sweetness and light. OK, so all these things were true; while I might not be fazed by spirits wanting to fuck (including when it’s those not-sweetness-and-light ones who want to fuck!) But it seemed small in comparison to the fears that I had when I was in the worst early part of my path, and the fears that I hear from people on similar paths, and I couldn’t help mentally comparing it in my mind.

Mind you, these folks seemed actually to be in connection with real spirits of various sorts. Their magical items - their lovely skulls and handmade rattles - were actually charged. They actually journeyed themselves. They did take clients and they did help people. We had that in common, and I am not trying to say that they advertised themselves falsely. They were, indeed, real and competent shamanic practitioners. They were good at what they did. It just wasn’t exactly what I was doing.

The difference between us was both cultural and practical. Once, during our conversation, I tried to describe bloodwalking. (That’s a journey that the practitioner takes through the genetic bloodline of a client in order to give them information about it.) One of the couple asked, “So, is it always just you doing the journeying and telling them what you see? Don’t you ever teach them how to do it themselves?”

I remembered a journey where I slogged up a frozen mountain in north Jotunheim to see a snowy goddess about being more capable at bloodwalking, and how she stuck something inside me to do the job, something for which I will be paying emotionally for years to come. Teach them to do it themselves? The idea seemed as far away as asking a surgeon, “Why don’t you teach your patients with brain tumors to do operations on themselves or each other?” …or, more chillingly appropriate, “Instead of performing competition-quality piano music for an audience at Carnegie Hall, why aren’t you teaching other people to play that well themselves, so they can do it in their own living rooms?”

All I could think to say was, “In this tradition, the shaman does the work for the client.” They seemed to accept that as a cultural difference, but it sharply underscored the divide between us. Maybe I’m just a hard case, and not nearly as initially talented as I like to think, and all the deity-modification is to make my otherwise hopeless astral form into something that other people can achieve with a few months of wandering around various unnamed spirit worlds. I don’t know … but I doubt it.

See, I’m not sure that I like the idea of dragging other people into the sort of thing that I do. In the tradition I work in, in the various areas of circumpolar Eurasia which surround it, there’s an acceptance that the shaman’s call is not necessarily consensual, and that the initial period of illness is possibly fatal. I’d give shaman sickness, the way that it manifests in my tradition, a 10-30% chance of being fatal. I don’t know how many “students” would sign up for “shamanic knowledge” if that kind of fatality rate was advertised up front.

Granted, were I to do this, most of the people I dragged through the Otherworlds would not be grabbed up by Gods and spirits … but some of them would, when their wyrds might otherwise have been their own. That’s one reason why indigenous cultures avoid spirit-places - they don’t want to get chosen. I’ve fought off two fatal illnesses so far, one culminating in a near-death experience. I’ve had major surgery and recovered without painkillers, in a four-day Sun Dance of agony, on the orders of my Patrons. I’ve given up everything I had, and I live a life prescribed by narrow rules that I did not choose. This path may yet be the death of me, quite literally. Is this something that I want the karmic responsibility of handing clueless people over to?

That, to me, is the real “dark side of shamanism”. Being sacrificed for the good of others. Risking death and pain and madness, again and again, for their sake, bound to help them even while you are the outsider. Because going through experiences like mine prevent you from living any kind of “normal” life, and you will be an outsider. You will. Trust me on this.

I will, of course, teach those who have already been grabbed up, who are staring down the barrel of that divine cannon and who may not know how much at risk they are for getting their heads blown off. I’d do that in a heartbeat, were any sent to me. I’ll happily teach all manner of “arts” as well, the hundreds of tools in my working toolbox, to any that are interested and can give me a bit of payment. But spirit-work? My experience of it was so different from theirs that their basic assumption - that part of the job is to teach any interested seekers to do what you do - left me in a kind of dizzy revulsion.

And yet … I’d been sent there to make connections, that was clear. It wasn’t the first time that my Bosses have pointed me towards the neo-shamanic community. There’s no sense of “go and learn”, it’s very definitely a “go and network”. Why? More to the point, how? I’ve resisted that before, because I do not know how to translate my experience into their world view. Our rituals, our protocol, it’s different. Some of our underlying assumptions are different as well. On my end of it, it does look something like an uncrossable divide.

On the other hand, we have some assumptions in common - the underlying animistic spirit(s) in all things, the existence of spirits and Otherworlds (for the real practitioners, anyway), the sanctity of the Earth. (I was certainly able to connect with these folks as fellow homesteaders.) In many ways, we are both further from the world views of mainstream society than we are from each other. There’s got to be a smaller divide there than between me and a rich atheist investment banker in a condominium on the Sunset Strip. Surely there’s a line we can use to bring this together. I suppose, if my Bosses had to aim me at a community and attempt to use me to fire some diplomacy, I could have been given worse ones.

It seems that the neo-shamanic community and the small group of spirit-workers that I know personally have been developing entirely separately, with no cross-pollination at all. I can feel the time coming, though, what that has to change. If nothing else, some people in that demographic may get too close to the Gods/spirits in away that makes them Lawful Prey, and they may well have nowhere to go with it.

I think it’s more than that, though. As the Earth slowly sinks further into polluted disarray, more alliances have to happen, perhaps across difficult lines. We need to think about who our allies are, and how many of them we can collect. After all, that’s a very shamanic way of thinking: can I make an ally of that plant? That animal spirit? That piece of woods? That stone? That ancestor? That deity? Unlike the stark simplicity of monotheism, tribal shamans were judged by their having a lot of spirits, not just one or a handful. We can think in the same way for human allies.

What would it take to ally to other communities, even if there are some things we don’t see eye to eye on? Neo-shamanic practitioners? Neo-Pagans? Wiccans? Reconstructionists? Mystical Christians and Jews? New Age folk? Reiki people? Ecologists? Body modification spiritualists? One could spread the net even wider.

I think that the first thing, though, is that we have to accept that we are likely going to be the weirder ones in any partnering, and that it’s best if we can try to communicate from their world view whenever possible (or at least stick to things we have in common) and wait patiently for them to take their time coming around to understanding our world view. Because, let’s face it, our world view is hard to understand. We’re used to it, because we’re immersed in it, but it’s not an easy thing.

So the first exercise I’m going to set for myself in this endeavor is to imagine what life is like for them, and figure out how to speak from that perspective. I’m going to work on communicating commonalities before I shove the bitter reality of the difference between our paths at them. Alliances aren’t made by punching someone in the face; they’re made with slow, patient steps and some sacrifice.

May you all have patience and persistence in the search for embodied allies as well as numinous ones … because we’re all going to need it. The work that you do today lays the groundwork for the generations to come.

The Meaning of Interfaith

2009-03-01T21:59:00.003-05:00

By Galina Krasskova

As shamans and spiritworkers we very often have to interact, in differing ways, with people from a variety of faiths and traditions. They may be colleagues, clients, the average joe on the street, or our counter-parts at various religious or networking functions. Either way, it can be fertile ground for misunderstandings to occur. Being a godslave it's often difficult to see past the end of the metaphorical stick the Gods often smack us with, but when it comes to making nice and getting our points across in a way that does our Owners proud AND gets the job done, understanding how to approach interfaith work can be, if you'll pardon the pun, a godsend.

While I've been a Heathen priest for close to two decades, I am also an interfaith minister. I attended an interfaith seminary in NYC, graduating in 2000. This has given me an interesting perspective on the concept of interfaith. When I was in seminary, and would speak with members of my own very orthodox religion (Heathenry), I was often asked if my choosing to study interfaith ministry was indicative of a spiritual crisis on my part. I always found this assumption puzzling for in truth, my studies caused me to look deeper into my own spirituality and brought me closer to the Gods that I love and worship. I chose to study to make myself a better priest and servant. I never understood why anyone would assume otherwise. Sadly, over the past few years, speaking with other clergy, shamans, interfaith ministers, participating in the seminary alumni list, participating in various interfaith functions as the Heathen clergy-person in residence, and doing my own work between religions, I have come to understand the reasons underlying those assumptions; and this understanding has led me to question the true meaning of 'interfaith.'

As god-servants, we are often charged to deal with clients from a variety of different traditions. Certainly I've worked with Christians, Jews, Muslims, Pagans, Heathens, and the occasional Buddhist, even an atheist here and there --to name but a few. In navigating the waters our Gods have placed us in, we're also charged with the delicate task of exploring and honoring the spirit of numerous religious traditions, many of them often diametrically opposed to each other in major points of theology. The same, of course, is true of interfaith ministers.

In our work, we have the opportunity to create bridges of understanding and tolerance between faiths. Building those bridges starts with us. It starts specifically with the attitude with which we choose to approach not only other faiths, but our own spirituality as well. I have heard many interfaith ministers and ministers-in-training as well as "shamanic practitioners" (note, I do not call them shamans) fervently defending their right to add or 'borrow' rituals and practices from numerous faiths, meshing these into their own spiritual practice. I have heard avid assertions that "I have the right to add anything I want to my spirituality." Maybe, but I say this is a slippery road to walk. It is a road lined all too often with a disproportionate sense of entitlement twinned with lack of awareness and sensitivity to what might be seen by many religions as cultural misappropriation and strip-mining. Given that a large proportion of spiritworkers come from Pagan religions influenced heavily by New Age ideas, I think this is something we all need to be on our guards against.

This is a subject very close to my heart. My religion is one of those that takes great offense to its practices in any way being co-opted by outsiders, no matter how well meaning those outsiders may be. Why this insular clannishness you might ask? The reasons are, for my religion anyway, two fold: firstly, we believe that the Gods are meant to be approached and treated with respect and that They Themselves have shown humanity how They want this done through sacred stories and rituals unique to each culture. Secondly, some religions view themselves not only as spiritual traditions, but as folkways: cultural, linguistic, and ethical paradigms without which the spirituality itself is rootless. Someone unwilling to immerse him or herself in that culture, or at least to see through the eyes of a devotee cannot possibly comprehend the religion in question.

When I was at the seminary, students learned the motto of "always in addition to, never instead of." This was quoted regularly throughout the two year program. No where in this motto, however, is the dictum that all Gods are interchangeable or that interfaith tolerance should be grounded in a foundation of disrespect for other peoples' religions. It's one thing when we are owned by Gods who order us to incorporate a particular practice and quite another when willy nilly we choose to do so because that practice is 'neat' or 'useful.' It's the attitude that we can take whatever we want and change and adapt it without regard to the spiritual and cultural history behind the practice or belief that has folks from Native Americans to modern Reconstructionist Heathens to various Christian groups up in arms. And they have every right to be. They are confronting spiritual and cultural misappropriation at its most arrogant. I have even heard one well meaning interfaith minister refuse to call members of my religion "Heathen", preferring instead to call us "Pagans," because she felt it was more appropriate and she herself preferred that term. This represents an arrogance diametrically opposed to the true spirit of interfaith.

Whenever we approach another religion with a sense of entitlement, with a refusal to open our minds to how the practitioners of that religion approach their spiritual world, with a refusal to set aside our preconceptions and personal preferences we perpetrate a grave disservice to ourselves and to those we wish to touch. We violate the spirit of interfaith work. It makes no difference to say that we are following our own truth and harming no one else. By stealing the sacred traditions of another, by showing disrespect in this way to their Gods, we are perpetrating spiritual harm. We are walking in the footsteps of self-absorbed imperialists the world over. Hyperbole? Not to those traditions being strip-mined. No matter how well meaning our intention, if it causes offense to those religions we are exploring then we need to seriously rethink our position and most of all, our actions. We are not entitled to twist another's spiritual practices to our own needs. Period.

So, what is it that defines the spirit of interfaith? It's about respect. It's about respecting and honoring differences while celebrating those rare moments of synchronicity, celebrating the commonalities shared by the various faiths. Religions aren't resources to be plundered and despite the best of intentions, it is impossible to truly respect a religious tradition while showing no respect for those that follow it. So tread lightly. We are charged with meeting each spiritual tradition on its own ground. To do otherwise, is an act of hubris. And hubris, as so many sacred stories show, is not a thing looked fondly upon by the heavens.

Marking a Journey in Flesh: Part I

2009-03-01T00:49:00.001-05:00

by Wintersong Tashlin

Several years ago I underwent a transformative shamanic dying period in my life. Many classical shamans experience a singular death event or crisis that marks their spiritual change into "walking dead men." One of my mentors for instance bled out in a hospital and had his heart stop. He was never fully alive again, and if you are gifted with a good sense for energy and you are around him, it is possible to see the magical bonds the gods placed to hold his spirit to his body. This isn't how things worked for me.

In some ways the journey started out as many shamans' do, with my health situation in a steadily worsening state. I suffer from a chronic pain disorder related to an old injury. I was already a spirit worker and a magician, but this journey began when my Lady informed me that I would become Her shaman. Having known several classical shamans at this point I was far from pleased, and I will freely admit that I fought with Her for over a year before inevitably acquiescing to Her demands.

For me the spiritual dying process would be a slow one, taking close to two years, and marked at four intervals by transformative ordeal rituals. Each ordeal was tied to a particular element, and was designed to further the transformation. I will not go into any great detail here about the time between these rituals, but let me say that it was a difficult one for me emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Over the course of the next several weeks I will post four essays, one for each of my four shamanic ordeals. I will be sharing descriptions of each ordeal, followed by an explanation of the permanent modifications to my body I received to mark that ordeal. Each modification has been done in a different art form, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the broad field of body modification, I will give some detail as to the how and why of the particular art used for each design.

This week we start at the beginning, with the ordeal of fire.

Fire Ordeal: Branding

The ritual:

The first, and in some ways most complex ordeal ritual I did was oriented around the element of Fire. In mid February I went to Cauldron Farm, which is in Massachusetts, and built a fire in the fire pit using only my flint and steel. The ritual was to run from sunset to sunrise and I had to be alone for that entire time, which in itself was an ordeal. As my health had steadily worsened I had become progressively more dependent on other people, and the ideal of being alone was, itself, terrifying. In addition to maintaining the fire I had built, I knew that at some point in the evening I would need to travel across the field to where a Northern Tradition stang had been erected and make a blood offering to the Norse lady of death, Hela. I had been instructed that this would need to happen sans clothing, a challenge in thirty degree weather with seven inches of snow on the ground.

Once I had built up the fire so as to ensure that it would still be going strong upon my return, I set off for the stang. I will not go into any great detail as to what happened there, but let me say that a measure of my life energy was taken forever. Weakened, by the magic and by standing in the snow naked for over ten minutes, I struggled back to the fire, pierced by the agony in my frozen feet. Once I nearly sat down to catch my breath, and today I know that had I sat down naked in the snow I might never have stood up again and no one would have come down looking for me until dawn at the soonest, still hours away.

The Body Modification:

The modification to mark this ordeal was an electrocautery brand performed by a Penelope, a piercer and body mod artist in the Northampton MA area. For me the brand was not about having skin burned away, which in fairness is what a brand is, rather it was about taking the fire into my flesh. There is an expression that says you can't play with fire without getting burned. During my ordeal, fire had warmed me when I was chilled and had been a beacon that guided me back to the world of life. Part of the point of the brand was to make an offering of myself to the element of fire in thanks.

It wasn't very hard to decide on a symbol for the brand. In many ways the fire ordeal marked the beginning of the end of who I was. Becoming a shaman in this sense of the word is a process that changes your life and your identity forever, assuming you survive. That is a pretty big assumption really. My mentors and my gods had made sure that I was well aware that this process could kill you or drive you crazy. Just as they had made sure I knew I didn't have any say in it. There was the chance in each of the four ordeals that I might die. To mark the beginning of this destructive process, having the rune Cweorth, the ruin of the funeral pyre, burned on into my leg made perfect sense.

Even though I had the brand done in a crowded studio, I still felt it was important to keep to the requirement of doing this ordeal by myself. As such I went to have the brand done on my own. You can imagine this was a bit of a risk; Penelope's studio is quite a long drive from where I was living at the time. When I found that my left leg was able to depress the clutch pedal in my car with little difficulty I was quite relieved. By the next day however, I had almost completely lost the use of my leg, and would not regain mobility for another five days.

It has been several years now since that night by the fire and Penelope's brand has gotten more difficult to see. The strength I gained during that ritual and the fire I took into me carried me through what followed.

Virtuous Poverty

2009-03-01T00:26:00.001-05:00

by Fire Tashlin

We all have our job. The gods hand them out to us like the worlds biggest and oldest New Deal program. We get on-the-job training, often from the bosses themselves, tough they rarely provide retirement benefits.

Well I shouldn't say that, they often provide for us in one way or another, just not usually in a manner or to a degree that we would choose. I often wonder if perhaps poverty as a virtue is touted by so many religions world wide, not because it teaches us something really valuable, but because arranging for us to become wealthy takes time and energy that the gods that we work for would rather not spend.

Now, the details of my job and the identity of my Lady are inextricably intertwined. This is largely because she has, as of yet, declined to identify herself. I and my fellow clan mates each have our jobs that she has given us. Not the Clan, you know the white pointy hat dudes, lots of yelling and fire. Generally that clan won't take ex-jewish, polyamorous, pagan, pierced gay people, that's not really their target demographic. Our clan has all you need to fill out the ranks of a spooky organization, but always with a twist, maybe of lime, lemon always make it taste to much like desert.

I am, among other things, a priestess and while some of you may be saying “but who's priestess?” I would then answer, wouldn't I like to know. You see, in not knowing who our Lady is, I and my fellow clansmen/women/whateveryouare's, are without a pantheon or religious structure beyond doing what what our Lady tells us to. While that may seem simple, just do what you are told, it can be very difficult when operating in the greater community. Why, for instance, doesn't our clan shaman and diviner tend to use the more conventional Norse runes or tarot cards? Because she said he couldn't anymore, and then told us to use a system completely different, and somewhat more complex. Don't get me wrong, I love our system, I think that it garners a much greater level of detail than other divination systems that I have used in the past. But when a client asks for a reading, and you whip this thing out, you do tend to get some really odd looks.

Not having a pantheon as a priestess, as someone whose job is to be a speaker and representative of the gods, now that's where things get a little hairy. You see, I don't speak for my Lady alone. Instead, I speak for whomever has no one to speak for them at the time. I have done work for Artemis, when her servant needed to speak to another Artemis person, but there was no one else in her area who could do that. I have done ritual for Kali Ma, because she outlined it for me, and who else was going to do it? I have spoken for Ereshkigal, Atropos, Odin (the young one, the one that no one in the Asatru like to talk about, because it was when he was still tight with Loki, very tight...) Not having the affiliations that come with a pantheon frees me to work with Whomever I need to, without having to worry about whether or not my patron has bad blood between them in the lore.

Of course it would be nice to have some lore, any lore, something. Otherwise, what will I write my book about that will sell millions of copies and provide the cushy retirement that I have yet to figure out how to provide for myself. Lacking that, poverty may well prove to be a virtue.

a quick maintenance note

2009-02-28T01:07:00.000-05:00

So, this should be the last color change for a bit. Given that we are fairly new, things are still settling with regards to layout and content. But I think that it's good for now.

Thanks for your continued patience, Fire (editor/moderator)

Some rambling thoughts on why bad things happen

2009-02-27T18:22:00.000-05:00

by Elizabeth Vongvisith

(This post originally appeared as part of an entry in my private journal, and is here edited and expanded for something approaching clarity. The opinions expressed here are my own and not necessarily shared by other contributors to The Gods' Mouths.)

Since I cannot afford seminary school right now, I've been reading books on theology and spiritual discipline, many of which are not about Paganism at all. In fact, most of them aren't. There is a dearth of serious books on Pagan religious theory, sadly enough. Because I want to learn about how to effectively counsel people who come to me for advice or help, I've particularly been looking at books related to pastoral counseling and how to handle hard questions.

One of the books I read was When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner. It's not a bad book and seems to be very helpful in understanding and accepting why tragedies happen...if you are a Jew or Christian who isn't particularly caught up in the literal truth of the Bible or the absolute infallibility and omnipotence of God. I had to stop reading it halfway through. It wasn't because it's aimed at a Judeo-Christian audience. It's because I can't honestly say I believe that misfortune never happens because the gods will it so, or that we never deserve what we get.

My gods are wise and powerful, but are not necessarily "nice" -- and that goes for the Aesir and Vanir as well as the Jotnar. They can be scary and hard to understand. They can meddle in people's lives without warning. They sometimes cause bad things to happen to Their folk, while at other times They arrange good things. They answer some prayers while other prayers go ignored. But even if one is "god-bothered" to the degree some of my friends are (and I am), still, I do not believe that the gods or spirits are responsible for every single good or ill that befalls us. And since They have free will of Their own, I also don't believe that we mortals can always influence Them in ways we would find preferable. We can try with prayer and worship, offerings and petitions, showing our faith and trust, even the shaking of fists and making demands...but it doesn't always work.

Kushner writes under the assumption that people never deserve their misfortune. It just happens and nobody can do anything to prevent it. That, in my world-view, is simply not always the case. Sometimes people don't deserve trouble and strife...but sometimes they do. Sometimes they've even had it coming for ages. As to why some people get their comeuppance and others don't, I don't know, but I can't accept the answer that it's because bad things are never attributable to the Divine, as the author of When Bad Things believes. The gods I revere are not above smiting people. They're not even above smiting people for what seem to be entirely petty reasons that make no sense to us. My gods, at least, do not pull punches when They are upset with someone, even if the methods may vary.

In my experience, if something unfortunate happens to someone who's very god-bothered, chances are good that their patron(s) or other tutelary spirits had something to do with it, even if it was just allowing the thing to happen without interference. Now, while not everything can be blamed on Their meddling (perhaps you screwed up your last relationship all on your own) and other people's own destinies have to be taken into account (it was your grandmother's time to die the day after you had to cancel that important ritual), the gods do have a way of making Their influence felt when They tinker in our lives, and no one can see this better than another god-bothered person.

However, most people do not have this degree of divine interference in their lives. In fact, many of us who do didn't always have it, and may have spent a good portion of our lives in the same state of questioning as everyone else. It's easy to forget this if you live surrounded, as I do, by those who have the same kind of intense relationship to the Holy Ones, but it is something I feel that a god-bothered priest shouldn't lose sight of. The so-called "ordinary" folks require somewhat different sorts of counsel from their clergypeople or counselors than a heavily spirit-influenced person might. Why do bad things happen to them? Hearing that question means it's time to get out of my dominant paradigm of god-botheredness and try to look elsewhere for answers.

It would be self-satisfied and dismissive for me to say to someone who has a more distant relationship with the gods something like "Well, obviously you didn't do what Deity X wanted, so you deserve to suffer like this." If they have no way of knowing what Deity X wanted of them in the first place, how can they be blamed? While most god-bothered folks are aware when we've crossed a line with the spirits, even if we don't want to accept it, those who do not have that kind of relationship with their Holy Ones don't need to be castigated for not having faith in beings in whom they might truly have to muster a lot of faith just to believe.

Learning to use divination effectively and accurately is one way to help people understand why shit happens. Another is by doing luck-work, or (magically or otherwise) examining the family history and bloodlines for evidence of a curse, bad orlog or bad karma, or other factors. Depending on who the person is, it may very well be that they did something to mess up their luck. Or they might be the victim of someone else's mistakes or bad judgment, as well as their own. There could be a family curse, an ancestor trying to get their attention, an angry spirit they've offended, some other spiritual cause. Maybe they screwed things up all by themselves. Maybe they'll never know the reason behind their misfortune or trouble. It might be entirely up to them to find meaning in the hard things that happened.

Ultimately, when it comes to explaining why bad things happen to good people, god-bothered or not, I think learning how to approach this is wisdom you can't learn from books. There are always exceptions to the rule, no matter how many times it's played itself out before, and it is also wise to acknowledge this and learn from it. I'll just have to do the best I can, I suppose. Life is complicated, and I don't believe there's a one-size-fits-all answer to every crisis experienced by each follower of a faith or devotee of the gods, anyway. And sometimes there is no real answer to the anguished question of "Why me?" except the one offered by the Haegel rune: you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Laying Out the Future

2009-02-27T12:38:00.001-05:00

by Elizabeth Vongvisith

(This article previously appeared in somewhat different form in the Spring 2006 issue of newWitch Magazine. It was meant for a beginner-level audience. I wrote it primarily because I felt there ought to be some information out there beyond just interpretations and various spreads, which is all one ever seems to find when researching the topic.)

What Divination Is and Isn't

Divination is the act of consulting an oracular tool whose random patterns and symbolic meanings are "read" for messages, as an answer to a specific question or as a general forecast. Where these messages ultimately come from is largely a matter of opinion. People in cultures past and present have believed that divination conveys messages from the gods, the spirits of the departed or other entities. Many of today's witches share a similar viewpoint, but there are also those who believe that divination is a means of communicating with one's Higher Self and/or is dependent on the workings of the subconscious. Whichever explanation you prefer doesn't matter nearly as much as whether or not you believe that divination actually works.

Using divination is kind of like checking out a road atlas before you drive to a place you've never been. You might be familiar with a few landmarks or consider different routes, but ultimately, you won't know until you've gotten there how your trip and the final destination will end up. Sometimes you can predict these things and sometimes you can't. Divination is an attempt to map one's future based on the factors affecting your life now, which you may or may not be aware of, in much the same way you might not notice that slow leak in the car's left front tire until it leaves you stranded by the road.

However, divination is not necessarily "fortunetelling" as most people usually think of it. Even if you are a believer in fate, destiny, orlog, wyrd or karma, the things you do now may change the future in ways you can't possibly anticipate or prepare for. It's not possible to know in advance all consequences of our present actions. Also, not everything you divine is bound to happen. Sometimes an oracle will give information about a current issue, or maybe it will focus on something in the past that may have a direct bearing on your question, or possibly both, without addressing any future events. It's important to keep in mind that no matter what the results of your divination are, you do have some degree of control over what is yet to come.

Reading for Others

It's best to learn divination by doing readings for other people first. This is mainly because it's far easier to be objective about another person's problems or issues than it is to remain objective about one's own, especially while at the same time you're learning what all those cards mean or trying to remember the difference between Ehwaz and Eihwaz.

So now you have a willing querent (the person for whom you're doing the reading). You've got your interpretations memorized and you know which method you want to use to lay out the cards or tiles. But maybe you've had a few false starts, or some concerns have come up with the first couple of readings. Here are some common ones:

1. What kind of questions can I answer?

There are good questions and bad ones. This doesn't indicate content, but structure. Some methods are ill suited to simple queries like "Does Kevin like me?" Generally, the more complicated the divination method, the less well it's going to answer yes/no type questions. Rephrasing the question will provide a more in-depth answer, i.e. "How does Kevin feel about me?" Suggest that the querent ask what's really on his mind; this is no time for the querent to be coy. For instance, asking "Things seem really weird with Kevin and me lately, what's going on?" may not necessarily be the question the querent wants the answer for. Encouraging him to ask things like, "Is Kevin hiding something from me? Is he cheating on me?" is probably going to get a definite answer right away, even if it's not a particularly welcome one.

2. What the heck does this all mean?

You've got your cards laid out and now it's time to answer the question. But what does the Four of Swords have to do with your friend's concerns about her college tuition? It makes no sense, according to the book! What if you did it wrong? Just relax; this isn't going to be graded and "doing it wrong" is far less likely with doing divination than with baking a soufflé. Your goal is to use your intuition to see how the card applies to the querent's situation.

Using our example above, the Four of Swords stands for inactivity and a time of rest or sleep. You could interpret this as "Things will remain stable and unchanging for the near future as far as money is concerned." Look at the card itself; does it suggest anything further to you? Perhaps it's an indicator that she should take a semester or two off. In the end, the important thing is what you think, not what the book says. Having a good, solid understanding of the traditional meanings of the cards (or whatever) is important as a foundation for your divinatory work, but it's not the beginning and end of interpretation.

As time goes on, you can build on what you already know, which will personalize your readings and allow you to do them more accurately. Nobody, however experienced, can ever be perfect, so don't stress about about "getting it right."

3. Is there a best time to do a reading? How about a worst time?

Whenever you or someone else wants guidance and advice is a good time! Even merely asking, "What do I need to know right now?" can lead you to discover some amazing things. The possibilities are limitless. There are only a few situations for which you probably shouldn't attempt any divination.

Don't do readings if you're really upset, depressed or angry, ill or in pain, or are having a lot of trouble concentrating. Being calm, undistracted and in a reasonably balanced and alert state of mind is pretty important when you're listening for that inner voice. If you're reading for someone else and you aren't feeling so great, you may overlook or misinterpret important things based on your own feeble state of mind. Nothing awful will happen if you go ahead, but more than likely you'll just be wasting your time because you won't really be up to analyzing and interpreting the oracle.

If someone is constantly begging you for readings every day, especially about the same question or concern, you should decline and ask them to back off for a while. Being hassled into doing a reading will not help you solve the person's problem, nor will reading for the same question several times a day. In fact, some oracles seem to take offense at being pestered too much; their answers will become vaguer and vaguer and less helpful the more you push for answers.

Asking frivolous, obviously stupid questions will often get similar results. People who like to sneer at all things witchy and occult will sometimes try to test you by asking dumb things "to see if it really works." Avoid playing that game; your answers will never satisfy them anyway, and it will just make you doubt yourself.

4. What if the querent doesn't like what I say?

Well, he or she can just deal with it.

Unless you were rude or insulting while doing the reading, it's not really your concern what the querent does with the information you give. You should make it plain to those for whom you read that while they don't necessarily have to like or even believe everything you tell them, they shouldn't blame you for being the bearer of bad news.

Be particularly wary of people in unrequited love situations; these folks often tend to get needy and insecure...oh, say, every two hours, and will want you to keep trying until the divination comes out exactly with what they would most like to hear (which never happens). They will drive you crazy, as will those who don't want to hear bad news of any kind, no matter how slight. Some people even become hostile if everything you say isn't all sunshine and butterflies. Just remember, you are not doing readings to pump up egos (including your own). Tell your querents honestly what you think is going on, for better or worse, even if you aren't 100% certain you're close to the truth. You might think carefully before you speak and phrase the unpleasant news as nicely as you can, but whatever you do, don't lie just to make them happy.

What if you get something really difficult, though, like pulling the Ten of Swords for someone in very poor health? Or what if midway through, you get a bad, bad feeling about finishing the reading at all, even if it's innocuous-seeming? Situations like these are a difficult call. If you start to feel that what you're about to say will do far more harm than good, or that maybe you shouldn't be reading for the person at all (perhaps their gods want them to figure things out for themselves, for example), then the best solution may be to wind the reading down as gracefully as possible without seeming too obvious about it. Divining for others isn't just about knowing how to interpret an oracle, but knowing how to be compassionate, diplomatic, and honest, even when it's hard.

5. Should I do some kind of ritual? Invoke a deity?

That's entirely up to you, your Gods, and the tradition you follow (if any). I don't think ritual or prayer is necessary for everybody, every single time, but others might disagree. Do whatever you feel is required of you by tradition, training, circumstance or personal inclination. What works for one person might not work for another. Experiment and see how much or how little ritual you feel comfortable with. Ask your gods for their assistance and blessing if that helps you. It's mostly a matter of personal choice.

Reading for Yourself, Or Being Read For

It seems logical that when you start learning some method of divination, you'd begin by practicing on yourself first. Actually, this might be more of a hindrance than a help. Doing a reading for another person allows you to form more objective opinions about the things you've interpreted, and gives you an opportunity to get feedback when you're forced to make educated guesses or aren't exactly sure what the oracle is saying. Reading for oneself is harder in that objectivity is often compromised, and as much as I've talked about intuition being important, remaining a bit impartial when doing a reading is important too.

Most of the time it's easier to do a reading from the perspective of a neutral outsider than someone deeply involved in the issue at hand, at least until you get used to the way an oracle works. Of course, you can still practice on yourself, but I've tried it both ways with different divination tools and have found that reading for other people allows me to get a knack for it far sooner than simply reading for myself. And there are many experienced readers who prefer to have someone else do readings for them. Avail yourself of other people's offers to do readings for you, even if you're sure you already know how to do it yourself. In the end, the goal of divination is to answer questions and provide guidance, and that goes for you as well as everyone else. If you read a lot for others, it's nice to let someone else give you advice for a change.

Notes and Why You Need Them

Taking notes can be tedious, particularly if you're a student and spend all day writing things down, but it's important to your development as a diviner as it allows you to compare real events vs. the oracle's predictions, and track your progress over the weeks and months. By making a simple chart or drawing of the reading, labeling which symbols or pictures came up and where, and making notes of your first impressions, you not only have a record for future reference, but you can go back later and add any further insights or new ideas as they occur to you.

It can be a shock to find notes from a reading you did six months ago in which you pulled the Three of Swords, the Five of Wands and the Tower, and realize that messy break-up with your ex was staring you in the face months before you ever suspected it. On the other hand, if you do readings about your love life every few months and the Five of Wands (which signifies conflict) keeps coming up in all your spreads, having notes can help you identify the pattern. Not only are notes useful for you, but they can be useful for those you read for; keeping notes on readings I've done for friends in the past has allowed me to spot recurring themes in the long run that may have come up in later readings for my friends.

Finally...Why Do It At All?

That's really a personal question you'll have to answer for yourself. Not every Pagan practices divination. Some people don't think it's worth the time, or they prefer to take life as it comes without trying to influence matters ahead of time. I can't tell you why you should or shouldn't try your hand at divination, but I can tell you why I've taken the trouble to acquaint myself with it. Mostly, it gives me perspective on things of importance. Remember what I said about needing to have a good, solid foundation in the basic meanings of your preferred divination method? After studying Tarot for some years, I have that foundation, and using the oracle has been a wonderful means of helping me acquire self-knowledge and spot recurring problems in my life.

Using an oracle as a tool for reflection and meditation can be incredibly helpful; in fact, it's often more helpful than merely trying to figure out what the future might hold. If you approach divination with the attitude that it can help you understand the currents shaping your life, asking what the future will bring may even be beside the point. The more you can understand what's going on right now, the more control you can gain over what happens to you in the future.

Aside from all this lofty-sounding stuff, divination is also a lot of fun, particularly if you're the nosy or impatient type who just can't wait to see what will happen next, or if you enjoy playing the mysterious fortuneteller at parties. Not everything you'll come up with in a reading will necessarily be a lot of fun to you to say or your querent to hear, but you shouldn't let that deter you. There are a wide variety of divination techniques available, from simple and quick to dizzyingly complex. When you've chosen one that works for you, you can use it to help others and yourself work through problems, attain a better understanding of your lives and get some ideas about the way that strange thing called Fate works. And if nothing else, there's always the secret satisfaction of knowing, "I told them so."

(Author's Note: One catch to all of this is that any of the circumstances and advice I described above can change via the intervention of a deity or spirit. They may order you to see that client anyway even though you have the flu. They may insist that you only do readings for certain people and not for others, or that you only read for particular questions or situations. They might block your reading entirely by providing an answer that equates to "Ask again later" (the Gar rune in the Anglo-Saxon Futhorc alphabet does precisely this.) If you work with spirits, the playing field changes significantly, so the god-touched to whom this caveat applies may wish to take everything I said in this article with a large grain of salt.)

Dark Wings, a Sestina

2009-02-25T23:14:00.000-05:00

By Fire Tashlin

This is a poem that I wrote about my Lady, it is also a form called a Sestina. I find that doing poems in very rigid forms are almost more like puzzles than figurative writing.

Dark Wings

I feel the sweeping breath of dark wings
The feathers are soft and shine like stars
Eyes like a field of stars sparkle
Over hard leather and shining steel
White hair wispy with snow and ice
Weaving and cutting a tapestry of fate

Do weathered old hands determine my fate?
Am I to sound in the dark and be called on wings
That sound soft but cut like shards of ice?
Look up to the endless stars
And wonder when I will be one with their shining steel
Polished to a hardened sheen and with their inner light will sparkle?

Or perhaps my thread with drops of dew will sparkle
As young hands weave my fate
Hands not yet calloused and roughened by steel
With wide soft white wings
That hold the light of the moon and stars
Captured and frozen in glass clear ice.

Say that maybe I will flow with the ice
In a sea of cold and fear while the sparkle
Of souls and pin pricks of stars
Are but a note in a symphony of fate
Surrounded by the ocean of soft wings
All edges and curves and spines of steel.

Will work roughened hands hold scissors of steel
Caressing a figure carved of abalone and ice
Carnelian feathers and opal bones and wings
Formed with edges and sweeps that sparkle
With the threads and strands of fate
Woven in with all their own stars?

I see the sea of shining stars
Like holes cut in velvet black by steel
Who holds in her hands my fate
Frozen blue and held in ice
With shining black frozen chips that sparkle
And flutter on her wings

Holding gently the fate amidst the stars
Rushing winds past wings made from steel
And soft tines of ice, all edges and sparkle.

Binging on Normalcy

2009-02-25T23:06:00.000-05:00

by Wintersong Tashlin

This happened some time ago, but it seemed to be appropriate for life right now, so here it is.

I have a confession to make. I did something bad this evening. I engaged in behavior which many folk would consider inappropriate for someone in my position. What is worse is that I went down this dark and stormy road with company. Yes, I led another innocent (ha!) soul into sin.

That’s right, on the way home from Cauldron Farm this evening Fire and I stopped at McDonalds. Before you can finish gasping in horror I should add that we also stopped at a gas station and got a package of Twinkies. I hadn’t had McDonalds or any other fast food in over two years and it had been far longer since I had a Twinkie (although in fairness I could only eat one bite of Twinkie, yuck).

I have been eating way too much junk food since my ordeal cycle was almost finished and certainly too much in the weeks since Keeper’s Crossing and the final ordeal in the cycle. I have also been staying up till stupid hours of the morning watching downloaded TV shows on iTunes or reading trashy books I’ve read dozen’s of times before.

It isn’t that I don’t have serious spooky work to be doing. Not to mention that I have work to make up for my company. The issue is that I just need time to come down from the strain of the intense foo from the last year. Fire says that for spirit workers and magicians like us eating junk food is like being bulimic. We binge on this crap which our bodies can’t really handle and most importantly neither can our spirit or astral bodies. We know our systems are going to purge it out and probably in an extremely unpleasant fashion.

Sometimes though, one just wants to feel like everyone else. Do something very mundane and rooted in American society. Sitting here popping mini tootsie pops and Fun Dip while watching Aaron Sorkin’s new show (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, fucking awesome) at 1am it is surprisingly easy to forget the whole shaman thing.

Given the way that the world seems to be going nutty in a real big hurry I don’t suppose that shoving my head in the sand is an OK plan. Still, a week of serious crap food culminating in McDonalds at 11pm is a big part of taking at least a partial vacation from the strange course my life has taken. I appreciate that the Lady has been willing to cut me some slack in this. Still, eight years of knowingly serving Her, I think I have a good idea of how far I can push it. She has made it real clear that now that the first ordeal cycle is over it is time I get down to some real work. I doubt there’ll be much McDonalds in my system for the foreseeable future…

Wouldn’t want to let this unopened pack of Fun Dip go to waste though.

When Stupid Happens

2009-02-23T15:59:00.000-05:00

By Galina Krasskova

Being a God-owned spiritworker/shaman, it's often had to imagine that there are beings out there a thousand times more difficult than Deities. Every once in awhile though, that remarkable blind spot jumps up and bites me in the ass, happily infecting me with a temporary case of stupid. Stupid happens, most often in our line of work to people who should and do know better (like me). It doesn't matter how much experience I get under my belt, or how much skill and knowledge I acquire. There are always those times where exhaustion, over-confidence, or simple lack of preparedness brings home the fact -- indisputably...that there is always, oh so much more to learn. For me, this usually happens when I'm dealing with non-Deity and non-ancestral spirits.

I find human spirits to be a hundred times more difficult to deal with than any God. Gods obey certain rules. They usually respect one another's territory. The same cannot be said for spirits. More over, depending on the type of human spirit you're dealing with, he or she can be hungry, greedy, and desperate to hang onto life at any cost. This is rarely a problem, unless one is dealing with mediums.

Mediums are those people who possess an innate talent for working with the dead. They can hear them, sometimes see them, and interact with them to a remarkable degree. They are extraordinarily sensitive to dead people. Unfortunately, in most cases, they are also incredibly loosely connected to their physical bodies and have a terrible time grounding. This means taht they can, under certain circumstances, be easily displaced by spirits. When this happens, possession occurs. Now don't let this conjure images of Linda Blair in "The Exorcist." It's not like that (usually). There are very good reasons for a medium to allow spirit possession; for one thing, it can be an invaluable resource for working with one's ancestors and guiding spirits. Problems often arise however, when one is dealing with spirits outside of those categories. Your ancestors have a vested interest in keeping you hale, healthy, and whole. Other spirits, not so much. Nor do non-related spirits usually have much of an obligation or debt to you.

I'd like to interject here that mediums are not necessarily Deity "horses." We use the term "Horsing" to imply allowing a God or spirit to come into one's body, pushing aside one's consciousness for a time. The ability to 'horse' Deity is a completely separate gift from mediumship. In fact, the best Deity horses i know cannot horse spirits save under very restrictive and Deity-controlled circumstances. They tend to be very well grounded and don't suffer from the weak body/spirit connection that most mediums experience as a matter of course.

Spirits can be sneaky as hell, and will often behave in unethical and surprisingly self-destructive ways. For those of you who, like me, offer divination as part of your services, this is an important thing to know. When a person divines, the reader enters into a state of psychic receptivity. Sometimes there are very good and lawful reasons for a spirit to come and give information to a Diviner. There are spirit-workers out there who are owned by or in service to non-Deity spirits and while usually those spirits are ancestral, that is not always the case. Extra care must be taken by the diviner whenever a spirit comes to a reading. Why? Because the spirit can linger well after the reading and if the reader remains receptive, as many of us do for the first hour or so following a reading, he or she can be painfully vulnerable to outside influence. I was reminded of this lesson quite recently at painful cost. It's very easy for a determined spirit to influence a diviner into doing something stupid, unwise, and dangerous if the diviner doesn't realize this is possible. Never underestimate a hungry spirit. They can make themselves appear ever so altruistic and friendly but always, always, always, question their motives. The best house wards in the world won't help if you've invited a spirit in.

So, what should a diviner do to be extra aware that he or she is clean after a reading? Well, it's painfully simple but there are a few steps to take that should never, EVER be ignored. If you're like me and in the habit of cutting corners in other areas of your Work, take my advice and just don't here. I did once. The results were terrifyingly unpleasant.

First, cleanse yourself and the room you are going to read in before and immediately after the reading. I recommend spending at least an hour before any reading grounding, centering, and praying. Yes, praying. It is here that one's connection to the Gods is of utmost importance: "May Wyrd reveal what is rightly writ to see. May I have the understanding to interpret it, and the wisdom to know when to speak and when to stay silent. May the Gods guide my tongue and may I be blessed with clarity of vision." You need to be clean before a reading, in every possible sense of the word.

The real work begins after the reading. Be especially aware of any ideas that come to your mind after a reading in which a non-Deity spirit has been present, particularly when those ideas are ones that will either involve that spirit or benefit that spirit. do not EVER and i mean EVER neglect to do divination should you suddenly find yourself absolutely certain that this spirit must be called again or some ritual done for its benefit, or most especially a medium provided so it can speak directly to someone. The one time i neglected to do this, was the one time it did turn into something out of "The Exorcist."

I recommend not only cleansing oneself and one's workspace after a reading but doing a specific ritual to banish spirits, keying that rite to whatever spirit was present. There are several such simple rites given in my colleague Sophie Reicher's book "Basic Psychic Hygiene." This book is an excellent place to start. Seal the space against spirits, particularly whatever spirit was called. Seal yourself as well and this is best done with shielding and special wardings but also with prayer. The best way to counteract negative spirit manifestation is to prevent the conditions that enable it. This is one area where prevention really is worth a pound and then some, of cure.

Be aware of over-confidence. This is something that many magicians suffer from. The Art breeds a certain arrogance. In some respects this is necessary to accomplish what we do but it needs to be reigned in, because it can lead to some dangerous situations. In me, it's led more than once to cutting corners and while in nine cases out of ten I can get away with this, that tenth time is usually one hell of a come-uppance! And a caveat, my God-owned friends, just because you're owned by a Deity doesn't mean that Deity is going to haul your ass out of the fire. I've known more than One to allow Their servants to mess up, sometimes painfully, sometimes in ways that cause serious damage in order to teach a lesson, or drive home a point, or provide a necessary experience. Odin is like that: if I get into a mess, He usually expects me to get myself out of it. According to Him, it's the best way to learn. So don't assume you can call on your Matron, Patron, or Owner and suddenly everything will be hunky dory. It's unlikely to work that way.

Always plan for the worst possible outcome. If you're doing a ritual where a spirit is going to be called (and frankly, I would caution before this happens to do massive divination to see if it SHOULD happen), for Gods sake don't begin until you've set up wards -- even if you're in warded space. Better too many protections than too few. Call your allies to watch over and protect the space and those in it. Call the medium's ancestors. Call your ancestors. Call the Deities that own you or to Whom you're dedicated. Call upon the house Vaettir. Basically, ensure that whatever spirit is coming in is outgunned and outnumbered.

Pay attention to what kind of spirit this is. Knowing the spirit's earthly profession can be particularly helpful in sussing out what type of character he/she has. If they were gritty, greedy, street-wise survivors in life, they probably haven't changed much in death. Spirits don't usually change all that much from who they were in life. The old saying, "If you give them an inch, they'll take a mile" certainly applies here.

Most of all, assume nothing. Do not assume that the people coming into your space have protections or wards, even if they are experienced magicians or mediums. I have seen particularly powerful spirits subtly and insidiously influence very skilled occultists to leave all their protective gear at home before a ritual. If one is not expecting it, such influence can be devastating.

Divination is an invaluable tool here. Before taking any action no matter how simple, involving any time of non-Deity spirit, do divination to see if it should be done. Divine to see if the Gods want it. Divine. Divine. Divine. Do not assume that it's just ok. If you're being influenced, this can be really difficult, even for the very experienced. Make a check-list if you have to and pin it to the back of your workroom door. That check-list should go something like this:

Before any spirit (not God) oriented ritual:

1. Do divination to see if the ritual is necessary.

2. Do divination to see if I should do the ritual.

3. Do divination to see if the Gods are ok with the ritual.

4. Do divination to see if there are any possible cons to doing the ritual.

5. If anything is ambiguous, call a colleague and have him/her divine for you.

6. Clean my space and take a cleansing bath.

7. Set up working ward.

8. Make sure there are tools like water, fire, florida water, and salt to help purify the medium if need be.

9. Do more divination.

You see where I'm going with this. If you think this sounds like overkill, consider what is worse: a few minutes spent in divination, or a few hours trying to banish an obnoxious, determined spirit from the body of an exhausted, unprepared medium. Me? I'll take the divination.

Just because we're used to working with Deities, it's easy to dismiss human spirits. This is a mistake, one I fully admit to making myself. Life can be an addiction, one that some of the dead are unwilling to give up. It's a hell of a thing to find yourself having been manipulated into giving a greedy spirit its "fix" at the cost of some poor medium's health. Take the precautions and drill yourself into following a regimen of checks and counter-checks. The more habitual this becomes, the more deeply ingrained, the harder it is for you to be swayed from it. Even when you think you don't have to, follow a set plan that includes those nine steps above and do it before anyone even steps through your door.

Because my friends, when you least expect it, as I can well attest: stupid happens.